Sincere Posted July 6, 2005 Dear Redneck Son; I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though: last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.... Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened. Love, Mom P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted July 6, 2005 "Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days." Looooooool no words come out... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior of Light Posted July 6, 2005 That was something, was reading it with that accent ringin in my ears, sure was sumthing eh. Thanks for breakin my ribs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Final_Say Posted July 6, 2005 lool; that made me laugh; thanks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nafta Posted July 10, 2005 Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.... loool.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted July 10, 2005 ^^^^^Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.... Thanks discreet.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MR ORGILAQE Posted October 19, 2005 boy i was loughing really hard man.That was some good stuff.Thanks for that Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yoonis_Cadue Posted November 14, 2005 Congratulations, you pulled it off! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yoonis_Cadue Posted November 14, 2005 Congratulations, you pulled it off! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
