Australian Tourism Website - operated my Ms Lexus

[rudy-Diiriye]

A goodie....

 

The questions below about Australia, are from potential visitors. Lexus was nice enough to spare her time to answer the following questions.

 

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK)

Lexus: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

 

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

Lexus: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

 

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)

Lexus: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

 

Q: Is it safe to run around in the buses in Australia? (Sweden)

Lexus: So its true what they say about Swedes.

 

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Caims, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)

Lexus: What did your last slave die of?

 

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)

Lexus: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not.... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

 

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

Lexus: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

 

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)

Lexus: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

 

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boy's Choir schedule? (USA)

Lexus: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is..... oh for get it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

 

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)

Lexus: You are a British politician, right?

 

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

Lexus: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

 

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in

Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

Lexus: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

 

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)

Lexus: No. WE don't stink.

 

Q: I have developed a new product that is a fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)

Lexus: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

 

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female populations is smaller than the male population (Italy)

Lexus: Yes, gay nightclubs

 

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)

Lexus: Only at Christmas.

 

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

Lexus: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

 

Q: When will Australia recognize Somaliland?

Lexus: Probably, when hell freezes over!

 

Q: Is c/y weclome to host the somali govt from there?(anonymous location - gps pinpointed Bossasso)

Lexus: well, the law states that he must fight a kangaroo first, so if he wins, he is cool, if not he be walking funny for weeks.

 

 

 

[FatB]

tpical; thinking that all us Ausies are laricans. mate we not the one that smell like a bucket of prowns in the sum. FEDINKAM.

 

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)

lool

 

you didn't make all of them up did ya?

[rudy-Diiriye]

hello inmate, just stop by king cross hint! look around for a xalimo!!! u get it!! :eek:

 

peace!!!

[Nomadic Activist]

Q: When will Australia recognize Somaliland?

A: Probably, when hell freezes over!

Q: Is c/y weclome to host the somali govt from there?(anonymous location - gps pinpointed Bossasso)

A: well, the law states that he must fight a kangaroo first, so if he wins, he is cool, if not he be walking funny for week

walle intaas wuu inoo qariyey

[Janna]

Originally posted by rudy:

Q: When will Australia recognize Somaliland?

Lexus: Probably, when hell freezes over!

 

Classic!

[Final_Say]

^^^^^^^check out dis xalimo's location; allow begging, with ur skinny a$$ xalimo; what on gods earth does S.land want with a chick who post fake love letters on SOL; plz nigga; even somalia don't need your sorry a$$ , miss i'm only 18 with fully voice messages;

as my eddo will say manaak kuu ixshoodna (should we feel embarrassed for u)

talking about little gurl attitude; naaya move over, fix up look sharp, don't hate Congratualte; hating makes u bitter and cuts u up inside; and also why ur freezing in aussie as a refguee instead of the sunshine in somalia

[Janna]

^^^Excessive Jaad does wonders to one, dont you think?

[Final_Say]

:rolleyes: not everyone is like u sis;

 

anyway did't mean to spoile the joke

 

hhehe rude it waz funny till this chick posted her crap;; some jokes sound good coming from adults, not little gurls in high school, that left their brain behind;

[Baluug]

LOOOOOOOL Jazmine u get mad easily

[rudy-Diiriye]

chill out ppl....this is the joke section!! get it....lol..

jasmine, where u shaking your head when your were writing....

 

excessive jaad kulaha! its more like excessive pepsi!! meeewooo! love me a good cat fight!! its nasty.... :eek:

[FatB]

^^lead da way rudy

[Final_Say]

no i don't get mad easily waryaa-liiba; just ignorant people have a way of saying S*t*u*p*i*d things that get to me!!

 

rudy; no i wz not shaking my head; i wz going red in the face!!

and i now feel sad that i provided a platform for this xalimo to stand on, it will sure add to her hallucination and full voicemail and a show for you and professor!

[Janna]

^^^ I wouldnt be suprised if I receive any hate mails from you. You would be the first!

 

Seriously, take it easy with that substance called Jaad. It's really affecting you as a person.

[FatB]

^ouch stining girl

[Janna]

^^ What? :confused: