Marriage Jokes

[Moth_To_A_Flame]

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

 

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting,fishing,boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

 

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not." ( SHE'S GOOD!)

 

Marriage (Part II)

 

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'

 

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'" (HE ASKED FOR IT!)

 

Marriage (Part III)

 

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed

either," and storms out of the house.

 

After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

 

MARRIAGE (PART IV)

 

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

 

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back,"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four." (RIGHT ON, LADY!)

 

God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece!

[Jabarjaan]

kkkkk This was very funny but lemme remind u one thing. ALLAH doesn't need rough draft to make new creations SUbxanalah, that is a big error ( Yaquulu kun fa yakuun!)

[Moth_To_A_Flame]

Lol, it's a joke, A JOKE! Don't take it too seriously bro/sis!

[Sincere]

MARRIAGE (PART IV)

That was a cold but good comeback

[muunad]

funny with a harsh sence of humor, i lke it

[Jacpher]

Moth_To_A_Flame

Lol, it's a joke, A JOKE! Don't take it too seriously bro/sis!

Words of advise, It may seem a simple joke to you but it is really not a joke. it's a BIG sin to make fun or joke about the creation of Allah. You need to make Towbah bro/sis. May Allah show us the guidance and lead us to it.

 

If you know the Tafseer of the Qur'an, read Surah Towbah 63-66, Allah has talked about some of the Munaafiqiin who made fun of the prophet and his companion by saying they are fat and only good at eating. These munafiqiin claimed they made the comment while joking. Allah has revealed Quranic verses because of the danger it's to make fun of or question the religon or Allah.

[Moth_To_A_Flame]

Originally posted by Ducaqabe:

Moth_To_A_Flame

quote:

---

Lol, it's a joke, A JOKE! Don't take it too seriously bro/sis!

Words of advise, It may seem a simple joke to you but it is really not a joke. it's a BIG sin to make fun or joke about the creation of Allah. You need to make Towbah bro/sis. May Allah show us the guidance and lead us to it.

 

If you know the Tafseer of the Qur'an, read Surah Towbah 63-66, Allah has talked about some of the Munaafiqiin who made fun of the prophet and his companion by saying they are fat and only good at eating. These munafiqiin claimed they made the comment while joking. Allah has revealed Quranic verses because of the danger it's to make fun of or question the religon or Allah.

Oh, for goodness sake, this is ridiculous! Re-read the quote, is it true that man was made before woman, yes! Perhaps, women are the masterpiece, that was an opinion put forward by the person who wrote the joke, that's not me. There is nothing blasphemous in that quote at all, merely an opinion which is something that's not forbidden by Islam.

 

Btw, do you make it your business to censure everyone who posts a joke by analysing the religious validity of it? :rolleyes: A joke is a joke, take it beyond that, and you're in dubious territory.

[Jacpher]

Btw, do you make it your business to censure everyone who posts a joke by analysing the religious validity of it? A joke is a joke, take it beyond that, and you're in dubious territory.

 

Moth_To_A_Flame:

 

No, it’s not my business to censor your joke but I wanted to give you advice on a joke you posted. Whoever wrote the joke either you or someone else said “God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece!†Subxaanalaah, Allah does not need a rough draft. He says it and it is.

 

You seem to be bothered by my reply. I was just trying to show you the joke from another angle. My apology.

[sensuous_brother]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL...das a funny JOKE...

 

for all of ya taking JOKES serious, ya need a sense of humour CHECK!!!...

 

Its just a joke..Laugh and Live..dammit...lol

[FatB]

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool@loooooooooooool

 

[Haaraahur.]

Certainly ALLAAH Is No need of a rough draft. He Says Be and it becomes. That one dares joke at the Expense of ALLAAH is beyond my understanding. And since when did infidelity become a good comeback??

[lol]

Moth that was realy funny.......Thnx for the laughter........More pls

[Castro]

Why isn't anyone bothered by the signature of "Professer" that dehumanizes Jews? I think it is repulsive and should be removed. Shame on you sir for spewing such hate.

[Baluug]

So what about your signature,ofleh,implying that our religion is making us do evil things,and a quote from a Jew,no less!!Whassup with you?

[FatB]

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool