runawayvirgin Posted January 30, 2005 DRESS CODE It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. SICK DAYS We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. PERSONAL DAYS Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. BEREAVEMENT LEAVE This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early. RESTROOM USE Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. LUNCH BREAK Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week! THE MANAGEMENT Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abdulladiif Al-Fiqih Posted January 30, 2005 kkkkkkkkkkkkk The Toilet part was funniest....but i have a simple q for you, in the LUNCH BREAk, in which group did u fall under ? me 30 mins..is good enough this faarax need to eat more canjeero Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
runawayvirgin Posted January 30, 2005 lol:) I guess this was mainly for other people... you know if it was for "US" they would've start from 2 hours Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abdulladiif Al-Fiqih Posted January 30, 2005 ^wiilo xageed kaga timid sxb? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted January 30, 2005 Loooooooooooooool@A-ladif ,,,, saaxiib Wiilo halkan maba ay soo geline ,, miyaad ku riyoonaysaaa ,,,, Waah waah waxaasaa jacayl ah Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abdulladiif Al-Fiqih Posted January 30, 2005 Jaceyl beel...war aniga iyo jeceel waan is daynay waayo cagaahaa aad aragto ayuu iga soo reebay....anigu waxaan kamid ahay qolyaha 30 mins Lunch Break mgmt-gu u ogalaatey....waxa saa iidhuubey waa isaga lee Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted January 30, 2005 dee hadaa maxaad la riyoonaysaa oo kolba wiilo aan dhulkaba joogin u baafinaysaa ,,,, soodigan hadarka iyo isla hadalka bilaabay ,,, Mise iyadaaba intaas kaa soo reebtay waa yaabe ,,, ?? Aniga 5 Min baa igu filan ,,,, don't need 30 minutes or so ,,,,, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
