Why I Fired My Secretary

[Jacaylbaro]

Two weeks ago, was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway.

I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be pleasant and say Happy Birthday and probably have a present for me.

 

She didn't even say Good Morning, let alone any Happy Birthday. I said, well, that's wives for you. The children will remember. The children came into breakfast and didn't say a word.

 

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.

 

I worked until noon. About noon Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."

 

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."

 

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.

 

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office. Do we?"

 

I said, "No, I guess not."

 

She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

 

After arriving at her apartment, we had another martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."

 

"Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes, she came out... ... carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife and children. All were singing Happy Birthday.

 

... and there on the couch I sat... ... with nothing on but my socks...

 

… and *that's* why I fired my secretary