RendezVous Posted November 24, 2004 Making Love to a Woman 1.MAKING COFFEE Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir.. gently, and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk. 2.LAYING A CARPET Laying a carpet is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, nail her, then walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay. 3.HANGING WALLPAPER Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork. 4.PUTTING UP A TENT Putting up a tent, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an'.. slip in to the old bag. 5.WASHING A CAR Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge. 6.BEING IN THERAPY And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You.. get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money. 7.BEING IN A CRASH Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible. 8.GOING FISHING Going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied. Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag. ------------------------------------------------- Ati Who said KENYANMALIS are the best in BED Ibraheem's Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MR ORGILAQE Posted November 24, 2004 HOW TO MAKE LOVE Ingredients: 4 Laughing eyes 4 Well-shaped legs 4 Loving arms 2 Firm milk containers 2 Nuts 1 Fur-lined mixing bowl 1 Firm banana Directions: 1. Look into laughing eyes. 2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms. 3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently. 4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers. 5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight). 6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana does not soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls. Notes: 1. If you are in an unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use. 2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use. 3. If cake rises, leave town. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MR ORGILAQE Posted November 24, 2004 Liked it did you rendevous?.i aim to please Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jacaylbaro Posted November 24, 2004 How do you teach a girl a Maths ? Add a bed, subtract her clothes, divide her legs, enter your square root, leave your solution and hope she doesn't multiply. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
- Femme - Posted November 24, 2004 :eek: :eek: :eek: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted November 24, 2004 S-frustrated aint we Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted November 24, 2004 Raula...this is life... Take it easy sis. When we do all this..the best part is that we still love you guyz... Ibraheem's Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted November 24, 2004 Hamna shida basi mambo mazuri kabisa..lakini I would advice wasijui vijana(na wazee/ma babu pia naona kuna kathaa hapa ) watumie KUKU MANGA instead of all this "ingridients" :cool: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Seeking Paradise Posted November 24, 2004 Why dont you guys bend down and make love to yourselves? That will solve all your sexual frustration problems. This crap doesnt belong here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted November 25, 2004 wE needs apples and opposite PaRtNeRs....aNd thAt eXpLAiNS ITsELf...what do u want us to do with them...JUST snore with them? ------------------------------------------------- ati hata mende?????????? Ibraheeeem's Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bess. Posted November 25, 2004 i don't get it :confused: im truly ofended...is it dileperate or not...but i believe its extremely vulgar...and so rude....i wish u wouldn't post it here..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted November 25, 2004 Originally posted by bohemian chic: i don't get it :confused: im truly ofended...is it dileperate or not...but i believe its extremely vulgar...and so rude....i wish u wouldn't post it here..... u call yourself the bohemian and u dont like?then u aint tight! i am sure that you got cds in your collections that say more than u see heya!! but then again u had the choice to skip it this thread!! just pov......! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RendezVous Posted November 25, 2004 ...Is she one of the XIIRAN...the bahamian we know..off the miami coast with the Z rated CDZ...or a bit chunked up dame.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krupt33 Posted November 25, 2004 Good one The Ren. If it doesnt make you laugh, maybe it makes other ppl laugh. Dont like it, Skip it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
