Sign in to follow this  
LadyDotNet

Makes me Laugh :)

Recommended Posts

The ones at the bottom are the funniest….

 

 

 

The Weakest Link, BBC1/BBC2

 

> > >

 

> > > Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?

 

> > > Contestant: Jool carriageway.

 

> > >

 

> > > Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?

 

> > > Contestant: Bombay.

 

> > >

 

> > > Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?

 

> > > Contestant: Crocodiles.

 

> > >

 

> > > Robinson: Wh...?

 

> > > Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

 

> > >

 

> > > Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels - travelling

 

> > >entertainers or chocolate salesmen?

 

> > > Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

 

> > >

 

> > > Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were

 

>written

 

> > >by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?

 

> > > Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1

 

> > >

 

> > > Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by

 

> > the

 

> > >initials G.B.S.?

 

> > > Contestant: William Shakespeare.

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol

 

> > >

 

> > > Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?

 

> > > Caller: Japan.

 

> > > Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't

 

>hear

 

> > >that, I can let you try again.

 

> > > Caller: Er... Mexico?

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > Family Fortunes, ITV

 

> > >

 

> > > Les Dennis: Name something sold by gypsies.

 

> > > Contestant: Bananas.

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774

 

> > >

 

> > > Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin?

 

> > > Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > Lincs FM phone-in

 

> > >

 

> > > Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the

 

> > world?

 

> > > Contestant: Barcelona.

 

> > > Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.

 

> > > Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in

 

> > >Spain.

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > Steve Wright Show, Radio 2

 

> > >

 

> > > Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?

 

> > > Contestant: India.

 

> > >

 

> > > Wright: The leader of the orchestra plays which musical instrument?

 

> > > Contestant: The baton.

 

> > >

 

> > > Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?

 

> > > Contestant: Expresso.

 

> > >

 

> > > Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.

 

> > > Contestant: Sydney.

 

> > >

 

> > > Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song

 

>Paddy

 

> > >McGinty's??

 

> > > Contestant: I don't know.

 

> > > Wright: It begins with a "G".

 

> > > Contestant: Cow.

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > Midday Money, ITV

 

> > >

 

> > > Judy Finnegan: The American TV show "The Sopranos" is about

 

> > opera-true

 

> > >or false?

 

> > > Contestant: Er-true.

 

> > > Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American

 

> > TV

 

> > >show, so I'll give you that.

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > BBC Radio Newcastle

 

> > >

 

> > > Paul Wappat: How long did the Six day War between Egypt and Israel

 

> > >last?

 

> > > Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC

 

> > >

 

> > > Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?

 

> > > Contestant: Four.

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show

 

> > >

 

> > > Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?

 

> > > Contestant: Er...

 

> > > Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...

 

> > > Contestant: Blimey?

 

> > > Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...

 

> > > Contestant: (Silence)

 

> > > Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...

 

> > > Contestant: Walked?

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > Daryl's Drive-time, Virgin Radio

 

> > >

 

> > > Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?

 

> > > Contestant: Holland?

 

> > > Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.

 

> > > Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?

 

> > > Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?

 

> > > Contestant: No.

 

> > >

 

> > >

 

> > > Allegedly real answers given to Larry Gogan on the Just a Minute

 

>Quiz

 

> > >on 2FM:

 

> > >

 

> > > 1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword

 

> > > 2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon

 

> > > 3) Name the Capital of France? F

 

> > > 4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell

 

> > > 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar

 

> > > 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital

 

> > > 7) What is Hitler's first name? Heil

 

> > > 8) A famous Scotsman? Jock

 

> > > 9) Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.

 

> > > 10) A dangerous race? The Arabs

 

> > > 11) Something that floats in a bath? Water

 

> > > 12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse

 

> > > 13) Something you wear on a beach? A deckchair

 

> > > 14) A famous Royal? Mail

 

> > > 15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle

 

>with

 

> > >wings

 

> > > 16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

 

> > > 17) Something a cat does? Goes to the Toilet

 

> > > 18) Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate

 

> > > 19) A method of securing your home? Put the kettle on

 

> > > 20) Something associated with pigs? The Police

 

> > > 21) A sign of the Zodiac? April

 

> > > 22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing

 

> > > 23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep

 

> > > 24) Something you put on walls? A roof

 

> > > 25) Something Slippery? A conman

 

> > > 26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish

 

> > > 27) A Jacket Potato topping? Jam

 

> > > 28) A food that can be brown or white? A potato

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this