IL CAPO Posted August 6, 2004 Why Did Cabdoow take his pregnant Wife Cambaro to Pizza Hut?Because they Promised "Free Delivery". Had Clinton got impeached,it would have actually been the first time a President got Blown out of the White House. What is the difference between a Marriage and a Mental Hospital?at Mental hospital you have to show an improvement to get out. Never sleep with a telephone operator, after 3 minutes she will say "Sorry,your time is over" Never sleep with a nurse,she will say "Next please" but sleep with a teacher..she'll say "Repeat that". Women are like Computers..as soon as you commit to one,you realize that if you have waited a little longer you could have had a better model. (This is not neccessarily my Opinion though) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 6, 2004 What makes men chase Women they have no intention of Marrying?the same urge that makes Dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. What did the Stockbroker's wife tell her Husband when she cheated on him? "Honey..i have gone Public". Why women are the best engineers in the world?because they can demolish an erection without damaging the structure. Young guy with green,red & blue hair to an oldman staring at him. What is the matter oldie?never done anything wild in your life? Oldman:Yeah..i slept with a peacock once and i am wondering if you are my son. What is the difference between a man and Jellybeans?Jellybeans come in different flavours. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sincere Posted August 6, 2004 Had Clinton got impeached,it would have actually been the first time a President got Blown out of the White House. Lmao......nice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 6, 2004 Why do men find it difficult to make an Eye contact?Breasts don't have eyes. a friend is like a Bra, hard 2 find comfortable,supportive, prevents you from falling, holds you tight and always close to your heart..you are one hell of a bra. Puzzle:it goes in stiff, hard and sweet, comes out soggy and tasteless..guess? ...wrong..chewing gum fool. dirty minds. Mother asks daughter...how is married life Honey? daughter shyly says "Like british airways Mom" mother reads ad and she is shocked "7 days a week, twice a day..both ways" the Bush goverment is like a Condom. stood up to inflation,halted production,protects few punch of pricks and gave you a sense of security while being screwed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 6, 2004 a prick has only one eye, its hair is a mess,its skin is wrinky,its relatives are nuts,its neighbours an a$$hole and its best friend is a cunt. 8 qualities to be a perfect husband. Brave,Intelligent,Gentle,Polite,Energetic, Non-Alcaholic,Industrious and Self Organized. in short..BIG C@CK...that is all. a 75 year old man talking to his penis "We were born togather,grown up togather,enjoyed life togather and had lots of fun togather..then why did you die before me?" Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, as ladies wisened to the fact that for 60 grams of sausage isn't worth buying the entire Pig. Our sex records show that our sex account is in arrears, please have sex to avoid being sexually blacklisted, take the rounds you can or call back..1st lesson free. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 6, 2004 Do you Cambaro take me to be my SMS mate? to beep and to flash?for rich stuff and corny jokes,in good and poor network till low credit do us part. Oh,how i love the way it rubs and thrust against the pink soft flesh,up and down in and out, creating a thick creamy white mess!Oh oh how I love my Toothbrush. its hard life being a Pen!s,you have a head with no brains,one eye that is blind,two neighbours who are nuts the other an a$$hole and your best buddy is a pu$$y. Girlfriends are appetizers,tastes good at anytime. Mistresses are Pizzas,hot and spicey eaten frequently. Wives are curd rice,eaten when there is nothing. A nun visits a Doc for urine test, by mistake her report gets mixed up and Doc says "Nun..Congratulations you are pregnant" Nun murmers .."O Jesus we cant even trust candles now" :eek: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 6, 2004 Had a chick on my Laptop,laid her on my desktop,put my hardware into her software and after a lot of input and output she downloaded and now we've got a floppy Disk. I am your secret admirer, you touch me at the right place and you always know how to turn me on like Kevin Lyytle,you are looking at me right now smiling..guess who i am?....am u r mobile phone s!lly. He met her while browsing, she unzipped his Dotcom for some downloading, since he was virus free he slotted his hard disk into her hotmail and she screamed Yahoo. Question:Do you know the most difficult golf course in the world? Answer:a woman's Pu$$y..no matter howmany strokes you play, your ballz will never go in. Men always say 'I LOVE YOU" to girls but do you know what is the true meaning of this? "I am looking Over Vaginal Entry, You must take Off u r Underwear" (but seriously I LOVE MY Baby to Death) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 6, 2004 An old lady of 85 and virgin about to die wanted her tombstone to read..Born a virgin,lived a virgin.died virgin..the engraver shortened it to "Returned Unopened" Whats rough and hairy on the outside, soft and wet in the inside..starts wit C..ends with T and has and U and a N in it? Dirty minds...answer is Coconut..what is the matter with you? I have a confession to make,ever since i've known you, its kind of hard for me to forget you everynight you appear in my dreams and i find myself shouting..Ghost..Ghost..Ghost. A Sand N!gger..Ooops i meant an Arab interviewed at U.S Immigaration. Q:u r name please? A:Salim Abeid. Q:Sex? A:Twice a week. Q:i mean Male or Female? A:Doesn't matter sometimes even a Camel. Man's Sexual Stages: 20's Thrice Weekly. 30' tries weekly. 40's tries weekly. 50's tries and tries. 60's tries and cries. 70's tries and dies. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 6, 2004 I want you to know that our friendship means a lot to me,you cry and i cry, you laugh and i laugh,you jump out of the windown, i look down and laugh again. Bush got a coded message from Osama Bin Laden it read 370hssv-0773h,Bush was stumped,he called the CIA and they cracked the code by reading it upside down.(if you still didn't get it then i should get my big hammer and hit you with it on the head) A Balck man and White woman meet in a nightclub, she takes him home and says "Tie me up and do what you Blacks do best" he ran off wit her TV and VCR. A Chinese Sunday Buffet Menu: Chu Sum Twat Suc Mi Pork Lic Mi Clit Tung Sum Chick Fuc Sum Cow Gulp Sum Cum Cho Kon It Cream Of Sumyung Guy Enjoy Your Meal Ladies and Gentlemen. Women's top 7 lies. I Love You. I am Virgin. I hate sex. You're the 1st one to touch me. I hate sucking. Oooh,it's so big. Ok,only this once. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 6, 2004 A farmer oreders a milking machine, tries it on his penis and has a wonderful orgasm but cant remove it he reads the manual and faints because it says "Auto Release After 2 litres" Men love war because it makes them look serious and its the only thing that make women stop laughing at them.LooooooooL. Kissing a lady's forehead is respect. Kissing her lips is Love. Kissing her breasts is loyalty. Kissing her tummy is heroism. Kissing her pu$$y is patriotism. Kissing her a$$hole is the greatest act of bravery. Sex is like Nokia connecting people like Nike just do it like Pepsi ask for more Like Coca cola Enjoy,life tastes good. A guy goes upto a girl in a Aroos party and says, you want to play magic Sweetheart?she says what is that? he replies "we go home and have sex and then you disappear" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 6, 2004 What is the closest thing to a woman's period? your salary..it comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days and if it doesnt come you are fuc'ed! How do you teach a girl a maths? add a bed,substract her clothes,divide her legs,enter your square root,leave your solution and hope she doesnt multiply. Dialogue between a teenager and parent, i am off to a party,"Well,have a good time" "Look Dad dont tell me what to do". What is a kiss? its an upper preparation for a lower invasion that will lead to further penetration with fast accelaration that will build next generation. Latest statistics: what do men do after sex? 2% eat 3% smoke 4% take shower 5% go to sleep 86% get up and go back to their wives. Why a Penis is better than a credit card: A-Once spent recharges itself. B-it is accepted worldwide. C-you can let your girl or wife use it as much as she wants. Little Girl: Mommy,i just found out that our neighbour's son has a penis like a peanut. Mom:you mean its Small? Little Girl: No,it tastes salty. A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing,he was happy with the Hole and she was happy wit the Thing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 9, 2004 Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your groin unprotected. What is the biggest crime committed by transvestites? Male fraud. What is the similarity between walking on the edge of Mount Everest and getting head from an 85-year-old woman? Whatever you do, don't look down. Why did Cambaro call the welfare office? She wanted to know how to cook food stamps. Who makes more money between a hooker and a drug dealer? The hooker, because she can clean her crack and re-use it, a drug dealer can't. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 9, 2004 What is the difference between a postage stamp and a girl? One is a mail fee and the other is female. Why did Cambaro have a lipstick on her steering wheel? She was trying to blow the horn. Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? So the sheep wont hear the zip. What is the similarity between the pizza delivery boy and gynaecologist? They both can smell it but cannot have it. Men who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. Japanese say. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 9, 2004 What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common? They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you are screwed. A couple in the living room making love. He says "You are dry tonight, honey" she replies, "You are licking the rug, honey" A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police. What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine. What happens when a whorehouse catches fire? Some come out running and some run out coming. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted August 9, 2004 What did Clinton say when asked if he had used a protection? Sure, there was a guard standing right outside the door. What does a Viagra have in common with Disneyland? One-hour wait and two minute ride. What is the difference between Cambaro and Titanic? You know how many men went down on Titanic. What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through such a tiny thing? Why air is lot like sex? It is no big deal unless you are not getting any. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
