An Italiano in London

[Delilah]

Hi,

It is bad to mock based on nationality....but this is too funny not to

**************************************************

 

The Italiano tourist wrote a complaint letter to the Manager of a hotel in London. The letter read as follows:

 

Dear Signor Diretorre,

 

Now I am tella you the story how I was treated at your hotella. I am comma from Palermo as tourist to London and stay as a young man at your hotella. When I comma in my room I see no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed?

I calla down the receptione and tell: "I wanna shit". They tella me "Go to the toillett". I said "No,no.I wanna shit in my bed". They said "You betta not shit in your bed, you sonnawab!tch". What is sonnawab!tch?! I go down to ristorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and point to toast "I wanna pisss". She tella me "Go to the toillett". I say "No, no. I wanna piss on my plate". she then say to me "You bloody fella better not piss on the plate, you sonnawab!tch". Second person who do not even know me and call me sonnawab!tch! What is sonnawab!tch? Later I go dinner into restorante. Spoon and knife is laid but no fock. I tella waitress" I wanna fock", and shell tella me "Sure everybody wanna fock". I tell her "No, No. You don't understande. I wanna fock on the table". She then tell me "So you sonnawab!tch, wanna fock on the table? Get your *** outa here!" So I go to the receptione and ask for bills I no wanna stay in your hotel no more.

When I have pay the bills, the porter say to me "Thank you and peace be with you" I say "Piss on you too, you sonnawab!tch" I go back to Italy!

I never more comma stay in your hotella, you sonnawab!tch!!!

[Pucca]

LMAO, poor guy

[7_steps_2_Heaven]

loooooooooool sonafab!tch

[HONEY-D]

whats with italian tourists!

 

 

Here is another one

 

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:

 

"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

 

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

 

"Hey, cool down lady," said the man. "I'm just telling my friend how to spell Mississippi."

[MD]

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool@honey-d that was soooo funny