IL CAPO Posted April 2, 2004 Nothing against kamba's A Kamba goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos." The Kamba then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The Kamba says, "I'll take one!" The next day, he walks into the office with his new thermos. His boss asks, "Wow, you have a Thermos! What do you have in it?" The Kamba replies, "Two cups of coffee and a Coke." ------------------------------------------------ A Kamba went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell it to Kambas," he replied. The Kamba hurried home removed his beard and changed his hair style, then came back and again told the salesman. "I would liketo buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Kambas," Salesman replied. "Damn, he still can recognize me," he thought. He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to Kambas," he replied. Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Kamba?" "Because that's a microwave," the salesman replied. NB:kambas are a tribe living in eastern kenya. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted April 2, 2004 Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Kamba?" "Because that's a microwave," the salesman replied. LoooooooooooooooL Wakambas, walaahi they are dead funny. I remember those days when I use to go to movies and when the actor tip-toes to cut-throught one of the enemies, the wakamba members would ...shout .."shshshshshshshuuush! nde actor is ntrying to ncreep! so be nquieeet mwah!" And me and my friends... would just cry with laughters! hehe...those were days man.. somalsujui thnkx for the joke ...enjoyed . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted April 2, 2004 Ati so be nquieeet mwah!"loooool jamal walahi makao ni watu innocent sana sikiza this one..... Recently this Kamba man won the 1 million special lottery for Ksh 10. As soon as the office of the Lottery Corporation was open on the following day, he was there to collect his winnings. Graciously, he presented his winning ticket to the clerk and in his best swa uttered his request, "Nimekuya kupokea shilingi miliona moya, tikiti ndio ii".(i came to collect my 1 million here is the ticket) After reviewing and checking the ticket with his manager, the clerk returned and requested on how he would like his payments. The Kamba replied, "nataka yote sasa".(i want it all now) "Unfortunately, Sir" the nervous clerk responded "The procedures are that we can only give you one hundred thousand now and the balance equally over the next 10 years". Furious and agitated, the Kamba asked for the manager, who re-iterated, "Sir, my assistant is correct, it is the regulation of the Corporation that we initially pay you one hundred thousand shillings now with the balance paid to you equally over the next 10 years". Outraged, the Kamba slammed his hand on the desk and shouted in anger, "munafikilia mimi muyinga, eeeh?? Nipe milioni yangu sasa ama munilundishie kumi yangu".(u think am ****** eeeh? pay me my million now or refund me my ksh10) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior of Light Posted April 2, 2004 munafikilia mimi muyinga, eeeh?? Nipe milioni yangu sasa ama munilundishie kumi yangu".(u think am ****** eeeh? pay me my million now or refund me my ksh10) Haa Kamba style has to have money in da pocket.Thanks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted April 2, 2004 lol Somalisijui & Jamaal..na sasa akirudishiwa 10 bob yake..or the million $ in incriments..gani nyingi..jamani fala huyo.. cheki hii basi... Mkamba (mfanyikazi) mmoja anakujanga kazi..mombasa kutoka ushago kwao..usubuhi na mapema..kila siku.. And every morning anasikianga mwadhini(calling for prayers)..akiadhani..(Allahu Akbar.......xaya calaa salaax..xaya..etc)... Baada ya masiku...Jamaa huyu..akamuuliza his employer..."Baba Ali, kila usubuhi na mapema...huyu mzee apiga kelele...mbona? Kwani huyu Saleh...hawezekani kuamka usubuhi? Lazima aitwe kwenye Sauti? si ana waamsha watu wote kwa ajili ya huyu Saleh na usingizi wake nzito jamani?" Loooool..he is thinking when the caller of prayers say "Xaya cala salax.." it means that he is calling for Saleh(a name)... Iam making jokes against wakamba and they are family to me..lool..(married to a cazo in Nairobi-Mlango kubwa basi)... Ama swich now to Wakisumu na omena... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted April 4, 2004 A Kamba, Muoki, and a friend, Pakoris, went to South B. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Pakoris somehow managed to find a seat downstairs, but unfortunately Muoki got pushed to the top. After a while, when the rush was over, Pakoris went upstairs to see his friend Muoki. He met Muoki in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands and saying his prayers, scared to death. He asks,"Oi Mkamba! What the heck's goin'on? Why are you so scared?... I was really enjoying my ride down there?" Muoki mumbles, "Aiee unayua wee ikona ndereba(you know u guys have a driver." Having lost his donkey a Kamba, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; why are you thanking God?" The Kamba replied "I am thanking him for that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkerman Posted April 5, 2004 wow lol am impressed, i am clearly not the sujui i thought i was , i wonder what do u cal someone who is regarded a suju by Af somaali folk, but his swahili is not up to standard?? sujui-suju Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted April 5, 2004 there is a friend of mine who calls me sujwe kwahivyo ziko mob jo! sijuu-sujuu-sujwe-sajuwi...loooool to name them but a few. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted April 5, 2004 Raula this is for you sis..... When kisum bekem a siti I want to resait a poem... plis read it in luo akssent... When Kisum bekem a siti, lek victoria bekem an osen When Kisum bekem a siti, all the mbuta in the lek bekem whales When Kisum bekem a siti, all fising boats bekem sips When Kisum bekem a siti, all omena bekem saks When Kisum bekem a siti, all fisamen became sip captains APENJI !! that is wot we call development, yawa! need translations? i dont think so... enjoy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Macalin Posted April 5, 2004 When Kisum bekem a siti, all fising boats bekem sips ------------HeHeHeHe! Ting Badi Maalo......Ma beer Ma Kuruss. am feelin this 'swahili' lounge Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted April 15, 2004 Ningependa kutuma salamu kwa baba na mama, wagiwa huko gagamega, bibi yangu Toris Angote na watoto wagiwa Chavakali, pia ndugu wangu Zephenia akiwa gagamega shopping center, siwezi kusahau sangazi Rebecca akiwa mashambani hugo Marigat, ningependa kuwaambieni show ya Nakuru imepamba moto, na watumie battry za Eveready paka power premium, kwa kuwa ni battry zenye nguvu, tena wasisahau kuandaa joggo kwa krismasi ijayo , ya mwisho ningependa kusema, wasisahau salamu ndio nuzu ya kuonana. Nafuka Ingho hivi karibuni ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted April 15, 2004 lol..shujui..they call me 'sijudhii ' in my campus..and whenever, they speak in somali they always look at me..to see that i understand..(I dont get it!) Somalisijui-thx for the kisumu joke ..lol Ok-basi walendo(oops! I meant masijui)if you haven't tried OMENA & MBUTA -you are really missing the delicasies of REAL-traditional food. This fishes are small/tiny but I liked how they roast/fry it and then wanaleta SOKONI ..its actually best vile ime dry na imepiga hewa kweli kweli(u know-been sitting in the sun for hours looool )...I miss Mbuta/Omena and MATOKE(my fav.kenyan food ) I have to call home and tell 'em to ship (a frozen one lol) for me otherwise..hiyo marashi yake(harufu)..gai wakwega.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiil-waal Posted April 21, 2004 loooooooooooooool,, guys i realy liked all your jokes,,they are all funny Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Observer. Posted April 22, 2004 lol, aisee its been long sijasikia ile, napenda kutuma salamu kwa baba na mama, hii polisi ya nairobi haishi kusimamisha mimi nakuulisa, iko wapi kipande yako? ok, check this one out, during the politicasl issue in mombasa, dealing with the majority of islamic riots, in early 1990's. jama mmoja anawahadithia wenzake na kuwapa onyo. ee hapana, ukisikia ile miislamu wanapiga ile kiber! kiber!(Taqbir! Taqbir!)wee kimbia, ile maanayake ni beba mawe, ile kiber! kiber!, beba mawe rusha mawe, sasa wewe ukisika tu, kimbia, hapana mucheso, kiber! kiber! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mombasa_QUEEN Posted April 25, 2004 wakamba ni watu ambao watakumiza mabavu they just funny. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
