OG_Girl Posted March 29, 2004 married Life..!! Marriage (Part I) Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not." ( SHE'S GOOD!) Marriage (Part II) Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.' "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last.'" (HE ASKED FOR IT!) Marriage (Part III) Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. ! Husb and gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!" (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!) Marriage (Part IV) A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four." (RIGHT ON, LADY!) God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hot_chocolata Posted March 30, 2004 LOOOOOOOOL, I swear that sh!t right there cracked me up!! especially marriage part 2 and part 4!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted March 30, 2004 "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four." loooooool i liked that one,very funny the guy must have been shocked definately that was the end of mother of four line. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG_Girl Posted March 30, 2004 thanxx sujui and hot_chocolata I did not want to open other topic so check this other joke is about my mom's people ... hope mom wont hate me for that ....lol Think like an Egyptain there is a good old barber in some city in the US. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen roses waiting at his door. A policeman goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service. The cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, there is a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at his door. An Egyptain engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber after the cut. But the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you. I am doing community service." The Egyptain engineer is happy and leaves. The next morning when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there... Can you guess? > > > > > > > Do you know the answer yet? > > > > > Come on, think like an Egyptain... > > > > > > > A dozen Egyptains waiting for a haircut.. loooooooool Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuCkY Posted March 31, 2004 Dang GirL LoooooooL!That Made My DAy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boxer Posted April 12, 2004 loooooooooooool damn OG u got me how did i missed that one. i was thinking more like >>SHEESHAH, FUUL WA TA'MIYAH<<<< BUT THAT ONE WAS GOOD AND U KNOW WHAT LOOOOOOOL THAT WAS TYPICAL SA'IDI FILLA .... but u left question mark in my head is ur mom sa'idiyah? .....okey nomads lets bring some about sa'idi ppl jokes since most egyptian jokes are about some ppl called sa'aydah A Saidi entered an appliance store and said to the salesman, "I want to buy that TV." The salesman said to him, "I don't sell to Saidis. Angry, the Saidi left, determined to by the TV. He waited three days, grew a beard, and then entered the store again. He found a different salesman and said that he wanted to buy the TV. The salesman said, "We don't sell to Saidis. Even more angry, the saidi went home, shave, put on a dress and makeup and entered the store as a woman. He asked again, but got the same answer. Puzzled, he told the salesman, "I've changed my disguise three times and gone to different salesmen, how did you know I was a Saidi?" The salesman said, "Sir, this is a Microwave."....... >>>hey OG gul i got luv 4 ur >>reer abti<< don't get mad "masr el-ghalya, ummi dunya" .................... ﻪﻠﻠﺍ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG_Girl Posted April 14, 2004 loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool He did not even know differ between TV AND microwive!!! Wallah very typical sa'edi . still laughing... BY the way I have a lot jokes about them but I can't translate them into English. Mom not Saidia , heya men zaqaziiq tho salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boxer Posted April 15, 2004 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^its for u صعيدي رمى على حبيبته ورده, مــأتت..!!!ليش..!! نسى يشيل الورده من المزهرية Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conspiracy Posted April 15, 2004 Boxer LOOOOOOOOOOOL for a Sa'yide that was a common mistake! Love Egyptian Jokes ? Masir Jokes I like this guys pickup line [ Poison ] from your hand is [sisame] much funnier in arabic! OG-GIRL, zaqaziq.. thats some crowded area babysista!!.. i lived at Miser El Jidiida Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boxer Posted April 15, 2004 LOOOOOOOOOOOOL@^^^^^^^^ GOOD ONE CONS. ....LOOOL MIN'AYN MIN MASREL-GADIIDAH......ARBA'A WANUS ANAA KAMAAN MIN MASREL GADIIDAH, ARDIL-GOLF LIVED CLOSE TO "BA'ARA EL-DAAHEKAH" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conspiracy Posted April 15, 2004 HEHHEHE @ BA'ARA EL-DAAHEKAH .. Bro i moved from there 95 but i lived there for a good while .. and yeah it was Midan El Higaz ;which school you go too?, Miser El Jidiida had only 2 high schools![/i], by the way are you still there? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG_Girl Posted April 15, 2004 lol@boxer and Conspiracy ... guys u really funny. Guys I am not like u from mesir I am khalejeyah ... but my mom from there , and I really hate that crowded place every summer , I have no clue how people live that place. Conspiracy : can u believe I did not get the English virsion.. specially when I read : she was sweet and egg...looooooooooooooooooooool I laughed so hard when I know u meant .. 7elwa wa beithah ..U could say she was sweet and white ...lol guys keep comming it. salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Som@li Posted April 16, 2004 it is really funny..i liked it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pucca Posted April 17, 2004 joke(this aint got nuttin to do with marriage but its funny and that's all that counts) Three shaikhs are walking down the street after praying the Friday prayer, along walks a women who is wearing a bikini bottom and top (did I mention its summer??) well anyhow , one shaikh says istagfur Allah cuz the woman was practically naked , the second says mashaa Allah cuz Allah gave her such beauty, the third says inshaa Allah……….so much for the clean, pious shaikh :eek: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
