Paragon Posted March 23, 2004 This is a Conversation between a Kenyan Policeman and an Innocent Citizen who simply happens to be walking home from work late at night. Gijana Untatoga wabi? Jina yago nani? Baba yago nani? Unataga nini? Gan you Broduce your ID? Basi if you gannot broduce your ID Wapi Gitambulisho? If you gannot broduce Gitambulisho Wapi drivers licence If you gannot broduce the three gavament tocuments Twende mbele! (But I am innocent….) Innocent gitu gani? Haguna mutu innozent Genya We gan charge you with anything Unataga gani? Smoking with violence Looging at a female gender with breach of gontract Looging at a government building zuzbiciously With indend to gommit murder Unataga gani? Unaweza gujitetea? Gitu gani hii? Ati fifty bob Hata haiwezi gununua jwing gum Toa besa gijana (…nibakishie bus fare) Ogay, You are a law abiding zitizen Unataga tuguzindikishe? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior of Light Posted March 23, 2004 haha You sent me to kenya n back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted March 23, 2004 Unaweza gujitetea? Gitu gani hii? Ati fifty bob Hata haiwezi gununua jwing gum Toa besa gijana Eh! Fifty bob and Jwing gum -hiyo ni kali.. This must be a Kale(kalenjin). Very funny walaahi.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted March 23, 2004 sade lol ... I can relate to the joke indeed.. One night I was returning from Preps-school in my class 7 and 8 and several cops stoped me and girl. They flashed a torch light upon our faces and asked: Hebu, nyinyi ni nani? and the girl lol replied: sisi ni binadamu... lol all hell broke lose after that. The convo went from ...simple questioning to: Tst! TSt! Tst! Ati nyinyi binadamu, heheee! *Phew-phewwwww* ... wee kitoto! unadhani hatujui kama nyinyi ni humani-beingsi? so your are calling us punch of fools? huh? What follow cannot not be revealed ... pure harrassment walaahi... I didnt say anything to start with but they were harsh on the poor girl... and i can still remember the slap fingers marked on her face the next morning...damn those were experiances! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted March 23, 2004 Fifty bob and Jwing gum .......... lool raula Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted March 23, 2004 lool-Jamaal..walaahi hawa karao wamenyonya wasomali & anything that resembles them-they stopped me once as well and almost arrested me :rolleyes: -dang Karao! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IL CAPO Posted March 25, 2004 Eh! Jamaal wee najua sana kuhusu kiganjo fellows,lazima iko jamaa yako sanse ama vipi?(j) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paragon Posted March 27, 2004 raula...hawa karao wamenyonya wasomali ... lol its harsh of them to arrest you. But have you been asked: "eh! hebu toa vyatu msichanee".."na u harakishe.."? LoL Somali....indeed. I wasn't innocent myself. I use to call them names and for that I was a target of theirs. ..but things changed I heard! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Macalin Posted March 27, 2004 JAMAL! LOL I actuallY do have the TAPE KA WARAN HEE!...I listen to it TAILY,EveryTay,Ant Nighd Forget when its written you shoud here the AUDIO...GITU GANI! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
raula Posted March 28, 2004 Jamaal..hawa hawana ihsani hata..walaahi..nowonder I spent 2 days in Pangani Police station..looooooool...For real though..me and my Old Eedo..and then one of the crooks(msichana mmoja mkiuk-kikuyu) akasema.. "sasa, wewe nimefahamu (meaning me), lakini huyu mama pia amepigana?". .lool..meaning that was my aunt also in the fight? Checki basi hi stori ya karoo kenya.. Demu mmoja msomali..aliapprochiwa na karao..at her house...wakamuuliza... "wapi kipande msichana"..now this lady do not speak swahili at all..the only thing she has been taught to say in swahili incase she is approached by cops is to say " bado sijafika"...well then, she said, "bado fika"...mind you, her children were there(3 of them)..nevertheless, the lady was wearing some DIRAC... so the karaos instead ey kaqaleyn lahayen....they laughed and said "...eeeh! bado fika, na hizo nini(referring to her BIG BOOBS! :rolleyes: )"...basi demu...alishtuka..and felt very ashamed...Lord of mercy..walaahi karao wa kenya..mameona maajabu. .looooooool..Na hizo nini..kali kabisa. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QUANTUM LEAP Posted March 29, 2004 A menu in a restaurant in Bungoma. Tonut na maantasi 5.00 /= Homelet Plain 4.50/= Jai na zgonji 5.00/= Tenku na ukali 6.00/= Jabati Pantika 6.40/= jabati na karanka 15.00/= Gugu ya ingo 50.00/= Gugu ya genjik 25.00/= Mgade Poflo 6.50/= mapawa ya ingokho(chumusha)10.00 pop mapawa ya ingokho( choma) 15.00 pop Zdrungi kafu 1.50/= Matonto na Mihoko 30.00/= Zamagi ntoko 23.00/= Enchoy your meals bay at te counder Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior of Light Posted March 29, 2004 Quantum, wow that was good.My poor ribs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
underdog Posted March 29, 2004 Yo, you see the humour in it now, but I've been in that scene. At about 3 am, somewhere between Garissa lodge and Jujaa. This cop asked me one question that cost me 300 shillings: Watu watatu wanatembea saa hii yaa usiku, Polisi, waizi na malaya. Kwa hiyo tatu, wewe ni gani? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Macalin Posted March 29, 2004 Zdrungi kafu 1.50/= .....heHeHe,Huthurungi? Zdurungi!.... Mkwahsiii:! Gugu ya ingo 50.00/= Gugu ya genjik 25.00/= ....HeHe UderDog: This cop asked me one question that cost me 300 shillings: Watu watatu wanatembea saa hii yaa usiku, Polisi, waizi na malaya. Kwa hiyo tatu, wewe ni gani .....Zaza Wee Ni Kani? Wallahi Na feel niko HOME~~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
