World Cup rules: Must be communicated to Women beforehand

[Abtigiis]

Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in general)

 

These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July next year...

 

List Of Rules.

 

1. From 11 June to 11 July 2010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations.

If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

 

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

 

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.

 

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

 

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12 and 18:00, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

 

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

 

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

 

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

 

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.

 

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

 

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

 

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

 

13. if you ask me what the offside rule is , i will be engraving it on your tombstone.

[Oz]

Hold on, am gonna print this put in on a frame and stick it in on all the entrance doors at home.

[BOB]

Why don't you post this on Women Section so that they'll ALL know what they're expected of them during the World Cup? I dare you...fuley fowqal fuleey.

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[Showqi]

[Chocolate and Honey]

Please, please DONOT be surprised if you end up divorced before the World Cup is over.

[nuune]

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone,

or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

[Hales]

How will you behave when she throws you out of the house on the first day of the world cu.p

[FatB]

lols

[Tuujiye]

A&T looooool.. wax waalan.. laakiin colour TV ayaa soo gadatay aan maqlay oo shaqadii dhan buu kaa reebay..calaashaan layaab owgiis lool... foolxumada kooxda ingariiska miyaad ka yaabtay lool..

 

 

Wareer Badanaa!!!

[BOB]

Tuujiye...don't talk to my uncle like that

 

 

He always had a colour TV...in fact he has the BIGGEST plasma TV in the entire BOB Mugabe's little kingdom of Zimland.

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[Wigad]

Nice rules but none of us have the balls to implent them so,

the next best plan is to go somewhere where there are now women for thirty days.

[SeeKer]

Originally posted by Abtigiis & Tusbax:

 

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times

Would those be Heineken or that warm gunk you drink in the UK? :eek:

 

There are lots of women who watch the world cup and just might be more ardent fans than yourselves, just as there are many men who couldn't give a toss about the world cup. Its all relative yakhee

[BOB]

Ebu Mambiye that Kenya wata chukuwa this year's WC...

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[SeeKer]

^Lol.....Was it Gormahiya that was the squad? bal leave Kenya alone they would never make the WC cut

[BOB]

Remember Alaska FC from Malindi ?

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.