Why we are not married yet?

[xabad]

^ Ohh my

 

"I feel like I do not belong in this world. I feel like a stranger wherever I go and this feeling is so pervasive".

 

" I am an anomaly".

 

Your describing me here.

 

why not try your luck in the motherland ? its tough finding someone in the Qurbaha, very slim chance.

[winnie]

I don't relate to Somalis either. We are, generally speaking, an arrogant and superficial group.

[xabad]

I agree with you

 

But talk with your relatives, don't keep quiet, make an effort and don't give up.

 

 

[Bluelicious]

<cite>

@winnie

said:</cite>

Hi SOL nomads, salam aleykum

 

 

My problem is two fold. One, I deal with passive aggressive co workers. I seriously do not know how to deal with them. The work gossip has gone to a ridiculous level that the manager had a meeting about it. The response? More gossip. How did I find out? A passive aggressive comment, of course. This one was directed at me and suggested that I am the tattle tale. Meanwhile, I know there has been talk about me but I don't care enough to address it. I don't value these people's opinions. Which brings me to my second problem, how to live with dignity.

 

I am an anomaly.

 

I am also familiar with bullies, and being different then the crowd but as an adult, there is the expectation to treat situations and people like a sensical, capable adult would.

 

Anyways, without going into detail about my life, I feel like I do not belong in this world. I feel like a stranger wherever I go and this feeling is so pervasive it is affecting my health.

 

Wacalaikum salaam. Hello Winnie, I love your name

 

Every story has two sides and i'm reading yours right now. As I don't know the whole story i'll give you general advice. We all know it takes two to tango so in other words it's never entirely 1 persons fault of an argument or fight as you need action for a reaction to happen and simply because one can't have a fight or argument with themselves.

 

With that being said you need to go back to that situation in your mind and try to recall what you did and said and the same for the other person and take it from there. Usually if you do this right the answer will come to you and you will know where things went wrong. From there on you need to be brave enough to iniate a conversation with the person to talk things out. If you don't nip it in the bud by addressing it, guess what ignoring the problem does not make it go away it only gets bigger and gets uglier ways and that's exactly what happened in your workplace. Misunderstandings happen when people don't communicate.

 

It's important to be open and honest with your coworkers and all be civil and have a professional friendship, that can't happen if the communication lines are closed. You don't need to be besties but just being civil and getting along with each other is fine. At the end of the day most people spend 8 hours a day at work so it becomes our second home/family so we might as well make some effort at making things work and having a pleasant working environment.

 

I get the impression that you avoid problems and don't address it and things escalate from there on. Also you don't make an effort to have a professional friendship with your coworkers which results in you being distant and hostile and having a me against them mentality.

 

You need to put yourself out there by that I mean don't be afraid to let people get to know the real you the authentic you. That's the reason why you feel a stranger because you don't share your feelings, thoughts and emotions with people so you automatically think that things and problems are only unique to you when in fact it isn't.

 

In general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems and an individual's life energy. Humans connect with humans. Hiding one's humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless and uninteresting.

 

The best thing to do is some soul searching, meditation and mindfulness. Take some time to get to know and work on yourself. That is the key to living a life in dignity. It's being at peace with yourself in a world full of chaos and not letting it affect you. There's nothing better then being the best version of yourself. Happiness isn't the absence of problems it's the ability to deal with them.

 

Never forget that whatever good and bad that happens in your life especially the bad it's a test from Allah and always say alhamdulilah. Have patience and know that it's temporary and your sins are getting erased.

 

Keep your head up darling and good luck with everything. Don't give up things will get better inshallah after hardship comes ease.

[xabad]

^ she does not have to open to anyone,

 

I have been in places for 5 years without ever interacting with people. Never had a problem also.

 

Your advice does not apply to introverted people who don't want to be social.

 

If your a quiet loner who is not people friendly, people do take advantage though.

[Dhagax-Tuur]

^are you implying that you're an introvert? Not me thinks,xabadu kugu dhacdaye!Diintaada usoo laabo, salaadana bilow waa iga talo walaaltinimo! Miyaan ku weerara? Oon jabiyey xeerkii Forum-ka? Fasax baa tahay, waad i caayi kartaa ina canaanan kartaa.

 

Winnie Mandela, hang in there. One thing that I would like to say to you and everyone else is 'you have got to overcome fear', as the saying goes, 'there's nothing to fear, but fear itself'. If you have a feeling that you want to say something, say it, do it, put it out there. Don't be afraid. Of course, use your common sense, but don't let fear take the driving seat. Like everything else, it is a skill that you have to master, once you've got the hang of it, you'll feel the difference.

 

Come out of that shell, walaalo.

 

 

[xabad]

<cite>

@Dhagax-Tuur

said:</cite>

^are you implying that you're an introvert? Not me thinks,xabadu kugu dhacdaye!Diintaada usoo laabo, salaadana bilow waa iga talo walaaltinimo! Miyaan ku weerara? Oon jabiyey xeerkii Forum-ka? Fasax baa tahay, waad i caayi kartaa ina canaanan kartaa.

 

Maxaad ii habaaraysaa ? Salaad tuko aa ? Nah, i will never point my ass upwards for anyone not even the mythical moon god. anshax maha waxaas :lol:

 

Your good Dhagaxtuur, imaada caayin.

 

its all jokes here.