Will Someone Please Marry My Ugly Sister?

[Somali-feminist]

salaamu alaikum wr wb,

 

I'm the queen of procastination, I'm probably a chairwoman for the ancient order of the two-headed turtle ... So after this post I better log off...I thought this was too funny!!!!!!!! so I had to share it with you guys.... BTW to all the brothers, don't even think about posting a similar joke! hehe

 

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Seriously. I’m getting sick of this. My dad is freaking out. My mom can’t sleep and walks around all day crying. Nobody’s interested in my hooking up with my sister.

 

 

She’s been single her whole life. That’s 30 years of solitary misery for the poor girl.

 

The last time we had a guy come to our house for a marriage scenario, he said something like "Excuse me brother, but where is your sister?"

 

I don’t think she’s that bad looking. They say that the truest form of beauty is on the inside, right?

 

Well, it must be buried pretty deep.

 

Don’t get me wrong. She’s not that bad looking. People say she bears a strong resemblance to Barry White so it can’t hurt to resemble a celebrity. I think she resembles Barry in her voice more than looks, but who am I to judge.

 

My folks got really desperate last summer and rented out a booth at ISNA for her. It was way in the back of the bazaar with a sign that read, "For The Sake of Allah, Please Marry Me". One guy stopped by but he was just asking where the bathroom was.

 

My sister thinks that guys aren’t interested in her because she doesn’t wear hijab. I tell her to flat out go for the niqab. She needs all the help she can get. Shoot, wear sunglasses with that niqab while you’re at it.

 

We registered her on one of those matrimonial sites but they keep turning down her membership because they think that the pictures are faked or it’s a joke of some kind.

 

I guess that in the end, we’re all destined to end up with someone, right?

 

Let’s just hope that guy comes along before my mother starts interviewing the blind.

[heavenly]

allah dats soo mean....*gasp* my heart hurts for ugly gurls like her...awww poor thing

[king_450]

If that is your wish, then here is my advise 2 u, next time go the mosque and after the prayer is finish , ask the muslims in the mosque that you are here 2 give your sister, and i promise you , she will be taken by some nice muslim. good luck but plz update me in this site. good luck.

[Nomad-by-Nature]

i don't know if this a joke or reality..but if it is real..well hope you have better luck in your turn..cuz usually all the leaves look similar in the family tree...

[Liqaye]

^^^^^first of all this is a joke.

 

secondly samiyah that was one hilarious commentary.

 

thirdly look at heavenly's response you are too much my heart goes out kulahaa

[Xafsa]

We registered her on one of those matrimonial sites but they keep turning down her membership because they think that the pictures are faked or it’s a joke of some kind.

poor thing.

[nuune]

THIS CRACKED MY DAY,lol

[hukri]

Let’s just hope that guy comes along before my mother starts interviewing the blind.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

 

One of the best!!!and if you've got anything similar to this don't keep it to yourself!!

 

*still laughing*

 

 

|Peace|Love|Respect|

[SuNsHyNe]

Lol! imagine if that was tru, can poeple get that ugly?!! :confused: :confused:

[Valenteenah.]

"My sister thinks that guys aren’t interested in her because she doesn’t wear hijab. I tell her to flat out go for the niqab. She needs all the help she can get. Shoot, wear sunglasses with that niqab while you’re at it."

 

LoooooooooooooooooooL! Oh my goodness! Thas too cruel.

[Somali-feminist]

salaamu alaikum wr wb

 

Originally posted by king_450:

If that is your wish, then here is my advise 2 u, next time go the mosque and after the prayer is finish , ask the muslims in the mosque that you are here 2 give your sister, and i promise you , she will be taken by some nice muslim. good luck but plz update me in this site. good luck.

forgive me for doing this....loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool are you serious? walahi you made me laugh! did you neglect to read where I wrote it was a joke? never the less, thnk you? :confused: walahi you made me laugh walalo...

[Somali-feminist]

Salaamu alaikum wr wb,

 

most of you probably read this, but each time I read it it tends to crack me up... I just came across it earlier today, and I thought I'll share it with u guys

 

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HIJAB JOKES

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It has been my personal observation that some Muslim girls and women do not realize the significance of hijab.Hijab is arabic for protection and cover. Some people put a lot effort into their hijab, yet it serves no

purpose. I am referring to the pointless hijab that some girls wear.

The first pointless hijab is referred to as the headband hijab. It is a band of fabric approximately 4 inches wide. It covers the back of the head and allows all the hair to be exposed. It doesn't serve much in terms of modesty,but at least it comes in handy in case of an unexpected tennis match.The second pointless hijab is the dupetta, also known as the Saran

wrap hijab. It covers all the hair, but it is totally transparent.Again it doesn't serve much in terms of modesty, but it keeps the hair nice and fresh. The third type of hijab is known as the Mickey Mouse Hijab.It is when a girl wears a black scarf and tucks it behind her ear, so that her ears stick out.

We now move to my favorites: the yo-yo hijabs. The first yo-yo hijab, also known as the Benazir Bhutto hijab, is the scarf that keeps falling down and needs to be constantly pulled back up....up, down, up, down, just like a yo-yo. The second yo-yo hijab is also referred to as the convertible hijab. This type of hijab is predominant at any type of social event, i.e. an Aqeeqah, Bismillah party, Ameen party, wedding, etc. This is when an Imam or Qari comes up to the microphone and starts to recite Qur'an. At this point, all the convertible hijabs come up...until he says "Sadaqallahul atheem". I'm

not sure, but apparently in some cultures that translates to "ok sisters, you may now take off your scarves". I'm sure this may seem odd, but what's even funnier is when people do not anticipate the recitation of Qur'an at a social event, and are forced to be creative and use accessories such as a purse to cover one's hair. I was surprised to see a women hold her purse over her head as "hijab"..as if the multitudes of men surrounding her are not a good enough reason to wear hijab, but some guy reciting du'a compels her to hold a purse over her head. Her friends were more creative...one friend used her dinner napkin. I was also laughing when I saw the communal hijab --> two or more girls draped under one dinner napkin during the recitation of Qur'ann.Her other friend was still more creative. She used her coffee saucer on the back of her head.I wasn't sure if it was hijab or a Yamaka. I didn't know if she was a Muslim or a Jew. I felt like going up to her and saying "Shalom

alaikum, sister". And, people should remember that hijab is not just a protection from guys, but from a girl's nafs (ego) as well. It should

prevent girls from having to spend hours in front of the mirror doing her hair. But, unfortunately, you see girls in front of the mirror for hours doing their hijab as they would do their hair, with all sorts of elaborate braids and the like. I wanted to go up to a sister and say "Is your hijab naturally curly?". I also felt compelled to go up to another girl and say "pardon me, but is your hijab naturally that color, or did you dye it?".

Well, the point to remember is that some people make an effort to wear hijab, but it is futile, because it is not fulfilling it's purpose. It's like using an umbrella with holes in it. Hijab is used for protection from guys as well as from the girl herself, and should not be used as an accessory or for beautifying one's self. Anyway, that's it. If anyone disagrees with me or is offended, then you are disagreeing with the teachings of Allah subhanahu wa Ta'ala.

[rudy-Diiriye]

loooooooooooooooooool! yo, i was getting sick with some cold tonite but when i read this, i fell to the floooor! u betta believe it! i amna post this on my wall! the funniest! man! xuuuuux!lol...i think i feel ok now. thank you poster!!

[Miriam1]

I didn't know if she was a Muslim or a Jew. I felt like going up to her and saying "Shalom

alaikum, sister".

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool that was pure jokes.

Where did u find these jokes if u dont mind me asking ?