Section6er Posted September 22, 2003 A plane is hurtling toward the ground after both its wings are struck by lightning. The passengers start praying and panicking. One woman stands up in the aisle and screams: "I want my final minutes to be memorable. I've had plenty of sex, but no one's made me feel like a woman! Can any man here do that?" The passengers on the plane go silent. The forget their own peril, and stare, riveted at this woman. Then a tall, dark and handsome guy at the back of the plane stands up. "Baby, I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He walks up the aisle, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily with anticipation as the man approaches. He takes off his shirt. Her lips part slightly. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches out to the trembling woman, extending his arm holding the shirt, and he whispers..."Iron this for me." --------------------- Why do women prefer a circumsised penis? Because they can't resist anything that's 10 percent off. --------------------- While driving home, a millionaire sees a homeless man eating grass along a dirty stretch of highway. He pulls over and goes up to the man. "Don't eat that," he says to the vagrant. "It's full of road dirt. If you're hungry, come home with me." Full of gratitude, the homeless man says, "Thanks, but I have a wife too." "No problem," says the millionaire, "bring her along." "I also have five children, a grand-child and many cousins," the homeless man continues. "Now WAIT a minute," the millionaire says. "Just how big do you think my lawn is, damnit?" --------------------- Michael Jackson gets married again and soon his wife gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. Jacko is a bit concerned though. "Doctor, I have to ask," he says. "How long before we can have sex?" "JESUS, Mike," the doctor says, "at LEAST wait until he begins WALKING!" A woman gets on a bus holding a baby, and the driver says, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." In a huff the woman slams her fare into the coin box and takes an aisle seat in the rear. An elderly man seated next to her senses that she's agitated and asks her what's wrong. "That bus driver just insulted me," she fumes. The man is sympathetic and says, "Why, a public servant shouldnt say things to insult the passengers". "You're right, the woman agrees. "i think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" That's a good idea," the man says. "Here let me hold your monkey." ------------------------------- What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? You run like hell, because she's got a grenade in her mouth. ---------------------------------- theres a white guy, indian guy, a chinese guy, and a black guy standin on the top of a cliff. the indian guy stands at the edge and yells, ''this is for my people'', and jumps to his death. the chinese guy walks up and stands at the edge. he yells, ''this is for my people'', and jumps to his death. the black guy walks up and stand at the edge. he yells out, ''this is for my people'', and he pushes the white guy off the cliff. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
