Looking for Mr. right

[Abdi]

It is good that you are focused and have personal goals to achieve but remember life is not only about school. Find time for yourself and enjoy. it is good you looking forward to give yourself a break but going by your statement, you need more than that. success in your endeavors.

[Hasina]

Sighnomore, you're welcome sis. Abaayo, I'm sorry for your hurt, but like Abdi said, don't let one bad experience hold you back from trying again. I believe everything happens for a reason, always take the good from the bad. Be grateful, that Allah showed you what kind of person is before it went any further. Think of it as Allah protecting your heart and safeguarding it for someone that is worthy of it.

 

A few years ago, I met a guy and I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. I admit that I was young and naive, tbh. We made marriage plans, because I was trying to avoid engaging in any sin, but it turns out he was lying to me and he got married to his cousin (albeit with pressure from his family) behind my back and he never had the decency to tell me. I found out from a third party. To say that I was crushed is a huge under-statement. I had trouble trusting men for a loooong time or believing in marriage. Eventually, the wound heals and you do start trusting again, albeit more cautiously than ever. Anyway, to cut a long story short, right now, I'm about to get married to a wonderful Somali man, and I'm truly happy. Things work out in the end with the Grace of Allah. Be positive and forgiving.

 

Focus on your personal goals, but don't shut the door to finding Mr right' for you.

[Sighnomore]

It’s hard. I prayed to god for courage and discernment. I waited. I didn’t date, I didn’t talk to guys on the phone, I had no heterosexual male friends. I waited. If I kept chaste and good. If I refrained from haram relationships and from committing sin, I was told god would provide for me. I was angry at first seeing these other girls marry before me especially seeing as in all honesty they were not my equal. In intelligence, beauty, moral conduct or kindness. After a while I stopped caring. When I met lets call him H (the kinda sort ex, the first Somali male I had met in years) I didn’t even want to get married anymore. I had resigned myself to the fact perhaps that wasn’t my calling--it wasn’t God’s purpose for me. I always wanted to be a mother. So at first I was somewhat sad about not having children but I eventually got over that too. I don’t know why God made me cross paths with a person like him or why he tested me with what followed. But at this point I am honestly indifferent again. I met a nice Ethiopian guy (hariri) through a family friend. The gentlemen I mentioned earlier. A good religious brother, very educated, he has three university degrees (including a professional one), immensely accomplished. Everything I thought I wanted but I just couldn’t give him a chance. At this point I am emotionally drained and exhausted. A lot of the advice people gave me on here was lovely and I thank everyone especially you Hasina. If I should ever change my mind I’ll keep your advice close in particular. I told my mother she hopes I’ll change my mind inshallah we will see what Allah has in plan for me. Again thank you everyone, school has started back up for me so this will be the last you hear from me. It’s going to be hard not replying again seeing as I am oh so Canadian and feel horrible whenever I do or say something that might be misconstrued as rude by another. Peace and Love! Xoxoxo -S

[DoctorKenney]

Signnomore, honestly you have everything going for you. You're making it seem like you're NEVER going to get married in the near future, and I just don't believe that at all. There plenty of good brothers out there abaayo, and maybe you can find one who has good character but maybe doesn't have a 6 figure income? As long as he's reliable, dependable, and caring then money will come later inshaAllah. I would totally give you my older sister's number and she knows quite a few Somali men in the Ontario area who are single and who would be good for long-term marriage prospects. Trust me, there's plenty of them and they're out there wallahi. Don't lose hope. You're intelligent, with good character, and please don't resign yourself to not getting married. I'm sure plenty of guys would jump at the chance at marrying you. And I'm being totally honest here.

 

There are plenty of women who have gone through FAR worse circumstances than you. If you're not able to find Somali men(but I'm totally sure you can) then you can visit Kenya or Dubai or Malaysia and there are plenty of Somali men who are eligible bachelors who are currently studying or working. Even the Indian cities of Hyderabad and Pune consider large numbers of Somali bachelors who are studying and finishing up their Masters degree or working. But if you totally need some helping being linked to such men, then feel free to contact me and I'll give you my sister's contact info.

[Nin-Yaaban]

Good luck with what you are looking for.