Raxmah Posted July 11, 2003 How To Install Love... A call comes through on the customer service line. Customer Service Rep: Yes, how can I help you today? Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install love. Can you guide me through the process? CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed? Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first? CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART? Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running? CS Rep: What programs are running? Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now. CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH- ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am? Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how? CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased. Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal? CS Rep: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message? Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed? CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Heart's in order to get the upgrades. Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do? CS Rep: What does the message say? Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean? CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others. Customer: So what should I do? CS Rep: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"? Customer: Yes, I have it. CS Rep: Excellent. You're getting good at this. Customer: Thank you. CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back, you will need to empty your recycle bin. Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal? C Rep: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go. Customer: Yes? CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you. Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name? CS Rep: You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great Physician. Most people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Give a little love away ... get going nomads u've got love to install. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted July 11, 2003 MashaAllah sis Raxmah great article,I checked my heart drive and found the love.exe in my heart drive, however it was inffected with a virus called user-Lady.dat and once i run the love.exe i got a message the file is inffected with user-Lady.dat, I tried Macaffee Anti Virus, it says this virus has no cure yet and most likely there wont be a cure for long time to come, so i tried to delete the file user-lady.dat from my heart drive but it says access denied the file is read only.. so i decided to format the heart drive and never install love.exe again it attracts viruses always... looooool peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Reality Check Posted July 15, 2003 That was soooo cute! lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Raxmah Posted July 15, 2003 OG_Moti I really feel bad for u nah, Just kiddin stop playin girls man. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
