galbeedi Posted May 30, 2014 Last wednesday, I went the graduation ceremony from high school for one of my son. THe flier said , the ceremony will start 7pm. graduating students should be there around six. My son and his friends left early. we reached there about 6:40pm. There were already other Somali families sitting. Unlike last year, where everyone sat randomly, this year we had tickets for specific numbered seats. It was held in this huge theater which holds about a thousand or more seats. We took about eight seats and waited for the ceremony to start. At 7pm sharp, the graduation ceremony started. The area superintendent and the local school trusty opened their speeches. followed by the valedictorian girl who was the best student academically. After the ceremony started, not one single white canadian family entered the theater. They all arrived before the start. I can confidently say that almost all the people who arrived late were mostly Somalis (80%), Arabs and some Ethiopian and Eritrean Families. Since they can't sit randomly, they must find their seat number through the attendees. The problem was , people have to stand up and accommodate this late arriving Somalis. Some of them do not even realize the inconvenience, they are causing , or dirty looks they are getting from the people who followed the guidelines. Some even arrived just about eight o'clock. I kept pinching my wife by telling her " eeg maryoolaydan hada socota". EEg kuwan kale ee Udbahoodii wata. suddenly, an Ethiopian Family entered and my wife felt better and said " Soomaali baa lagugu diree kuwanba maad aragtaid hadda socda". The sad thing is most of those arriving late was led by a " Gadh dheere". These are not newcomers to Canada, but people who have been in this country more than twenty years. They yet have to learn the essence of time and space. I am not singling the "gadh Dheere", but these are people who thing by wearing a bear or certain attire will translate Piety. No. In the Khaliij Country of Arabia, both the criminal, the police, the judge and the shopkeeper wear the white Dashdash " khamiis". In our tradition and culture, Khamiis was exclusive to the Ulema, students of Islam and respected pious people, and they were few. I am not judging anybody here . In fact I have more weaknesses than many. At the same time I believe we all aspire to be good Muslims and better human beings, which is difficult due to the greed, envy, temptation and other worldly desires that surround us. To be a good Muslim is a tough task that need perseverance. No big bear or a pant can't substitute. The Problem is in the wahabi culture , it is all about image. Short pant above the ankle and attire. It is a bad culture that is taking hold in many places. You could see mosques full of people, yet when you exit , you may see a dead person in the front door and no one will care. It did happen in Mogadishu. You want to kill someone, but can't get him through high security, well, you go to the Mosque and shoot him when he makes the " Sujuud". Nothing is sacred for them. A community that was in the news for so many bad reasons , whether it is crime , pirates or terrorism, should tread carefully and showcase their better side. Do not be that ugly falgar that doesn't care about others. Manners, manners and manners. The Prophet of Allah SCW, said, I was sent to complete the manners. In our community, there is no one to tell people how to behave in public. No community radio will discuss this or no newsletter will debate. each one of us does as he pleases. In the advanced countries, manners are virtue. In Singapore, their long ruling Prime minister said that before he decided to make the country a developed first world country, he has to change the manners and customs of the people. Noise by laws were passed , loitering was banned and borders were controlled, wages were raised , and school lateness for children were introduced for corporal punishment. How about few cannes in the butt for the kids coming school late. Finally in 1992, they even banned the chewing gum considering a public nuisance. One of my friends told me that two houses down from his house , the homeowner rented his house to six chinese students and labourers. He told me that in that house you can't even see when this guys are leaving or coming. he thought one or two guys were living there. It is about manners. Put that house six young Maryooley and the neighbors will call the police because of their activity. It is all about manners. Anyway, the ceremonies went well. Those who achieved excellence were given awards , while the top students were accepted the scholarships from fine universities. It is a world of standard . those who worked hard and achieve academic success , will definitely succeed in this system. My son is going to engineering. I have another son who graduated last year, and he is going to trade school. Rather than get the usual political science or business, he will be working with electricians and do his apprenticeship at the same time and earn a diploma as journeyman electrician. We can't expect all of them to be doctors or engineers. Sometimes we would like them to do what we couldn't achieve, or failed to do. They both have been working part time since they were 15 years old. I don't remember the last time I bought them any cloths. They buy their things and manage their affairs. I want them to be tough and ready in this tough world. My wife sometimes will say " waar hakaa yara nastaane maad iska daysid, xalayna goor damys seexdeene". Well mams always want to babysit grown boys , no way , they have to be busy. Drug dealers and trouble makers do not like busy kids, or those who are chased by their families. THey love those who have time, plenty of time. One of my nieces who live with us, just finished her third year of university with civil engineering major. In fact I know a lot of families who share the same story like us. Last year a young 22 years old somali from Sanaag was running for city council and my kids were running fliers for him. We have a family friend from Puntland whose two sons and daughter are both enrolled to college and working at the same time. I can tell you a dozen families with similar progress and hard work in this part of Canada. They are progressing slowly but surely. This group of young Somali boys and girls are confident and hard working. They have seen the bad news about other Somalis and they want to change. They are ready for challenge. They do not subscribe to the sectarian values of their fathers. They are holding to their faith in a different way while integrating and knowing their background. The issue is how can we let them enter the Somali civic community organizations and use their expertise. Most of these organizations are controlled by warlords and older dinosaurs who could not further anymore the aspirations of community. For example the Somaliland Community ( i do not know the board), is led by two guys. One from Sanaag and the other one from Borama. They both are " Mafrush" men who chew Khat daily. The Boramawi one goes their three in the afternoon and he goes home 1 am. I heard he will be representing one of the Somaliland political parties in Alberta. Other than the 18 May party, or the reception of some delegation from Somaliland, nothing is done their. Zero. No immigration issue to help or other community affairs. On the Puntland community , the director resigned after he was accused of embezzling money collected from the community for family sponsorship. Rather than call the police and investigate the over forty thousand collected and misused, the family put the matter under the rug and asked him to resign. The problem is his cousin took over. This person could not state two English words clearly, and you will feel disgusted when you see him perform in public. I said to myself what kind of people will allow this kind of individual to lead a modern civic organization. " waa badow aad isleedahay haduu miyi ka yimid'. Puntladers used to be sophisticated than this. Well, let us see our friends the Hag. This community led by the HAg is bigger than the other two and led by a sophisticated " Ciyaal Benadir" HAg. They may just have killed somebody , yet they smile. Just like Mogadishu , they project the image of inclusive Somali community ( waal meel Soomaalidu Ku dhan tahay). It is not true. Just like Mogadishu, they added few tokens. One from Puntland, Awdal, Kismaayo and so on, but the leaders are always HAG. The last director left first for Nairobi, and then for Mogadishu, after he and others got a contract for Somali education program through some government related NGO' financed by the Belgium government. Without a vote from the board, he just transferred the chairmanship to another HAg. They got huge funding from different agencies. In one account , one of my friends used to teach soccer and other sport activities to the kids. They always got funding for this insignificant activities, but it took over a year for the poor guy to find out about the money while other Hags were paid. They also have some tutoring classes, mostly thought by other students. My niece, who is in engineering class has been tutoring girls and other for Math ( calculus), and Physics since last summer and this one. They do not even pay her gas. Actually she wasn't doing for money or any acknowledgment, but for her sense of civic duty toward her flew Somalis. She told me " Adeer I want to help these girls so they could go to university like me". Just for this activity , they paid tens of thousands from Edmonton rotary Club, police, city and other organizations trying to help kids perform better at school. It all goes to the pocket of these guys. The main issue is how can we kick out these Somali dinosaurs so the new generation of leaders could enter the civic issues of our communities. No one elected them or authorised them to lead " xoog bay nagu haystaan". Sometimes when I go there, they run like a chicken, because I know where the bodies are buried. I conclude that the Somalis in these part of Canada are entering the middle class and their future could be bright than most of us thing. nabad iyo caano. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alpha Blondy Posted May 31, 2014 i was middle class once, before i became Somali. maxa xal ah? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nin-Yaaban Posted June 1, 2014 First of all, congratulations to your son for graduating, i am sure you both are proud. Having said that, you had a good story going until you injected HAG, Somaliland, Puntland, Mogadishu and Siyaasad into it. That's when i stopped reading. If people arriving late for ur sons graduation ceremony has bothered you enuff, you should've directly said something to them and let 'em know they were inconveniencing you when everyone else was on time. People would always continue to let you down, or disappoint you, if they don't meet ur expectations. That's when you either let 'em know about it, or just take it as a man and move on with your life. Galbeedi, dont beat yourself up about what others do. You wont be held responsible for their behavior or for their personal conduct....if they do anything to disappoint you, you address it right then and right there. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
galbeedi Posted June 1, 2014 Nin-Yaaban, thanks for your advice. Walaahi, I swear to Allah the all mighty,that before I wrote this story, I was thinking, Is there any way to teach us Somalis how to behave and interact other people daily?, some kind of medium, and you came to my mind. I was thinking, why not nin-yaaban, instead of writing that awful " somalis behind bars", write a different one narrating the daily ugly habits of our so people could learn and avoid. Let me give you an example: while I was doing some banking at my local bank, two Somali middle aged men entered the business. We were all in the line up. They were laughing and talking loud as they entered. When they took their posts at line, their demeanor and behavior didn't change a bit. Just like to guys in the street chatting. Since they were behind me, I said " waar suuqii Gaalkacayo ma joogtaane hoios u hadla ". One of them said " are we really loud?, I said, yes. The other one said," Soomaalida cabsida iyo baqdinta lagu riday ayaan la yaabay". He was thinking that we were scared of our surroundings. They do not care. you can speak your mother's language as you like nut with lower tone. It is rude to speak a foreign language in a business establishments, and loudly get the attention of others. Finally, before I left the first one said, " how do you know we were from Gaalkacayo". I said " I know your accents". In fact it was just a wild guess, i could have said, dhuusamareeb, or other place. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Khayr Posted June 1, 2014 Galbeedi, Go get your own blog to rave and rant. Btw, congrats on your kids graduating and doing bigger ans better things. It definitely ain't easy to do that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DoctorKenney Posted June 1, 2014 Galbeedi, that's true. Many Somalis who've been in Canada/America for over 20 years have yet to adopt some of the most basic American social norms, it's really strange. You even notice it when it comes to events such as Somalis organizing barbeques or other social events. They schedule the event for 2 pm, but they don't arrive until after 3 pm and it doesn't kick off until at least 5 or 6 pm. We even have a joke, there's the "regular timing" and the "Somali timing" But alhamdulilah, there is a LOT of good amongst the younger Somali generation today. Whether they're in North America or they're back home in Somalia. They're better than their parents, many of them are hardworking and are upright individuals as well. So we are progressing, in spite of all the negative attention we get in the press Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
galbeedi Posted June 1, 2014 believe me we are not like any other society. we have been the victims of our own making. few years ago in just about 24 months, 28 young Somalis were killed in this part of Canada, for unresolved murders and other related to drugs or just brothers killing one another. A third of the murder in city for that year were somalis. There were famine just three years ago in Somalia, so does other terror and piracy related issues. In the light of all these bad publicities, we are trying to show the world and our own communities, the good job and better side of the vast majority of Somalis are doing. We are trying to show them that we are a law abiding, family people who are doing their best, regardless of the hardships we face. On that end, little things like punctuality, order, politeness and considerate to other will go a long way. THese values are not white people's values, they are universal values. WE are trying to project a better image, and we should start from these little things. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Holac Posted June 1, 2014 Galbeedi, don't listen to the weak excuses. Nobody should develop the horrible habit of being late. Being late all the time is a sign of laziness therefore we should teach our kids to respect and value time regardless of where they live. Congrats on your son's graduation. You are an admiration for many. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nin-Yaaban Posted June 1, 2014 Galbeedi ur not that weird Wadani guy from Canada are u? Either way, u seem like u have very good intentions and ur heart is at the right place. But I am afraid you'd be in for a major let down if u continue to get bothered by what others do. In my 29yrs here in this world, if there was something I learned early in life, it was u can't predict human behavior, even those that are family members. I had family member who stabbed another man over some petty disputes and left him with a life changing injuries. And this was someone who in a million yrs I would never thought would do something like that. That's when I realized people are unpredictable. LoL if two Farax's talking loudly (and probably spitting as they talked) gets u all riled up and upset, than u have a good life and live in a sheltered life. U should see some of the folks I come into contacts on daily basis....Mexicans, Cadaans, Madows, and yes Somalis. Dredges of society, people with no respect for anyone and would tell u that right off the bat. Sxb the few rude Somalis u meet up in Canada shouldn't make u think all Somalis are like that. Just remember, the Somali speaking Qowmiyad is around 15-20 million. There millions that u never hear about that go about their life's without being rude, inconsiderate or nasty. And that goes for every other race that god put in this world. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wadani Posted June 1, 2014 lol, Nin-Yaaban how am I weird? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted June 2, 2014 Aha, the 'Middle Class' searching Somali. Waar you're Somali. That's middle class, upper class, working class and royalty all in one. Don't pigeon hole yourself. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tallaabo Posted June 3, 2014 <cite> @Apophis said:</cite> It appears that the thread starter is suffering from what befalls many immigrants in white peoples' country; inferiority complex. People suffering from this mental illness try their best to emulate white middle class norms and values and cringe when they see others like them ( in looks) failing to adhere to the perceived cultural good of the said middle class. Be a coconut if you want but blame not others who refuse to sell out like you have done, Mr Galbedi. The manners of talking to each other in a low voice in a public place, being respectful to other people in your environment, coming on time to a pre-arranged gathering while not disturbing the other attendees, etc. are not just white middle class values but are also fundamental Islamic etiquettes. Some examples of these are in the following hadiths: 'Abdullah bin 'Amr bin Al-'as (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "Four are the qualities which, when found in a person, make him a sheer hypocrite, and one who possesses one of them, possesses one characteristic of hypocrisy until he abandons it. These are: When he is entrusted with something, he betrays trust; when he speaks, he lies; when he promises, he acts treacherously; and when he argues, he behaves in a very imprudent, insulting manner." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "He who believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him show hospitality to his guest; and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain good relation with kins; and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. Hadith - Bukhari's Book of Manners #271, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Ahmad, and Ibn Hibban. ...Abu Darda' reported that the Prophet of Allah, upon him be peace, said, "Nothing is weightier on the Scale of Deeds than one's good manners." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Alpha Blondy Posted June 3, 2014 <cite> @Wadani said:</cite> lol, Nin-Yaaban how am I weird? oi dabaqa dhexe boy, its so obvious you're middle class ee naga daa ciyarta, abti. lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tallaabo Posted June 4, 2014 <cite> @Apophis said:</cite> None of your quotes provide an iota of support to your first paragraph. But then again you are someone who thinks your lifestyle is in line with Muslim theology (as evidenced by your posts on homosexuality), so you'll understand if I reject your views/ quotes on Islamic teachings on anything. I do not expect an avowed atheist to agree with me on anything Islamic but my comment is there to prove that what you consider "white middle class values" have always been fundamental Islamic etiquettes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tutu Posted June 5, 2014 Galbeedi Your public soliloquy seems to portray you as a typical Somali and betrays you as one of them if you didn't know. Now, were you complaining about late comers or addressing Somali teenagers' career choice or was it about the gar dheerayal. Or was it about the social issues facing Somalis or the making of Somali middle class ( of which are non-existent)? So now what were you on about? Congrats on your son's graduation. Wow you must feel proud and old:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites