what women say but really mean

[nivea_nova]

FINE

 

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. لا يوجد use "fine" to describe how a woman looks this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

 

FIVE MINUTES

 

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

 

NOTHING

 

This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an

argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'.

 

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

 

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

 

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

 

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

 

LOUD SIGH

 

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

 

SOFT SIGH

 

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

 

THAT'S OKAY

 

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow.

 

GO AHEAD.

 

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

 

PLEASE DO

 

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful

and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

 

THANKS

 

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

 

THANKS A LOT

 

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

[underdog]

What Men Really Mean

 

Haven't I seen you before? = Nice ass

 

I'm a Romantic = I'm poor

 

I need you" = My hand is tired

 

I am different from all the other guys = I am not circumcised

 

I want a commitment = I'm sick of masturbation

 

You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me

 

I really want to get to know you better = So I can tell my friends about it

 

It's just orange juice, try it = 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head

 

she's kinda cute = I want to have sex with her till I am blue

 

I don't know if I like her = She won't sleep with me

 

I miss you so much = I am so horny that my male-roommate is starting to look good

 

Was it good for you? = I'm insecure about my manhood

 

How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my penis really that small

 

I had a wonderful time last night = Who the hell are you

 

Do you love me? = I've done something stupid and you might find out

 

Do you 'really' love me? = I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later

 

How much do you love me? = I've done something really stupid and someone's on his/her way to tell you about it now

 

I have something to tell you = Get tested

 

I'll give you a call = I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again

 

I've been thinking a lot = You're not as attractive as when I was drunk

 

I think we should just be friends = You're ugly

 

I've learned a lot from you = Next