Politically Correct

[underdog]

* She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

* She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

* She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

* She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.

* She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

* She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

* She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

* She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

* She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

* She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

* She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

* She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

* She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

* She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

* She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

* She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

* She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

* She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

* She is not KINKY - She is a NON-INHIBITED SEXUAL COMPANION.

* She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

* She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

* She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

* She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

* She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

* She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

* She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

* She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

* She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is GRAVITY RESISTANT.

* She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

* She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

* She is not LOOSE - She is MORALLY IMPAIRED.

* She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

* She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT.

[Iffah]

Originally posted by underdog:

* She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

* She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

* She does not have THIN LIPS - She is COLLAGEN DEPENDENT.

Loooooool!!! Nice one UnderDog.