The inlaws

[Saxansaxo]

When considering marriage how important is the guy/girls family to you? By family I mean the inlaws.

Would you go for a guy/girl that has a mother or a father that is very difficult to handle, one who tends to meddle in most marital affairs of their kids, is very controlling, etc.

 

Would you reject a person on the basis of whats above, thinking its not worth the hassle in the long run. Or would you go for it, perhaps thinking the person would be reasonable enough to put his/hers foot down if they were to overstep the boundaries of whats tolerating.

 

Im asking this because lately I have seen the disastrous effects close family members can have on peoples marriage.. Some people are imtixaan soconaya...

[Coofle]

There was this professor in University, One day He started the lecture with.....A good mother in law is a dead mother in law .... I guess maalinkaa odayga madaxa ayaa laga haystay....Qoysku waa muraayad laga dheehan karo Qofka with Exceptions...

[Taleexi]

If the parent of either side is 100% in rejection mode - calling the union off is the right thing to do in my skewed view with the exception of some unique circumstances however, each to his own and Allah knows the best.

[rudy-Diiriye]

i married 3 xalimoos so far and never seen their mom or dad!! So what is that gotta do with which xalimoo u marry? Honestly, i dont know their tribe names 2! They tell me...but i forget it since i have short memory issues!! I can only remember things that i document and tribe shyte aint in my hot list. Sorry.

 

I just talk to them parents on the phone! When they say qolomad tahey.........i say,My name is hebel hebel...& i forgot my tribe name!! ask your daughter the rest of this bs!! She knows all that bs!!..........cuz the first thing xalimoos ask a farah they gonna marry, is his mom #lol...

 

Big warning!! dont do that!! Your own mom will side with your xalimoos.....& that sucks big time!!

[Bluelicious]

It's not worth it in my opinion plenty of people around who don't have inlaws from hell. It couldn't be more true when they say you don't marry one person but their whole family so therefore you need to consider the family in your final decision making.

[Juxa]

Ula dhaqan your in laws like you would your own mom and dad. Ha dhibsan what they say. That is the best way if you want to marry their son/daughter.

 

Most Somali in-laws waa dadleh dhaqan iyo diin and they leave you be, unless aad guursaneyso reer dhibka iyo buuqa lagu yaqaano

[Saxansaxo]

Juxa;976275 wrote:

Ula dhaqan your in laws like you would your own mom and dad. Ha dhibsan what they say. That is the best way if you want to marry their son/daughter.

 

Most Somali in-laws waa dadleh dhaqan iyo diin and they leave you be, unless aad guursaneyso reer dhibka iyo buuqa lagu yaqaano

Waa talo wanaagsan. That is what many of us have been taught, treating them like our parents. Unless they turn out to be reer aad u dhib badan ama marka horeba lagu yaqaan in ay dhibaato badan yihiin I think most people ma aanay dhibsan lahayn.

[Saxansaxo]

Bluelicious;976175 wrote:

It's not worth it in my opinion plenty of people around who don't have inlaws from hell. It couldn't be more true when they say you don't marry one person but their whole family so therefore you need to consider the family in your final decision making.

I concur. Its best to stay away for the sake of ones sanity.

 

Interesting replies and btw this was not about me, i just wanted to know peoples thoughts regarding this issue.

[Khayr]

You know SouthAsians always import their slaves...I meant their wives. They are so smart.

No In-law issues.

[Khadafi]

Avoid your inlaws, kolley dhaqankeeena saas waaye.

[Ms MoOns]

I barely deal with my inlaws. Especially because hubby's parents passed away when he was too little to understand (ilaheey ha u naxariisto). And the rest of his family is in Africa, except one sister.

 

A lot of people waxey i dhahaan, you're lucky you don't have any inlaw parents. That always leaves me stunned, it just sounds wrong, like they've passed away, only Allah how they would've been, maybe I would've been lucky to have them as inlaw parents. Allaahu aclam.

[QansaxMeygaag]

^^

 

I have a ton of in-laws and I bless the day they came into my life; great folk and much better than my own family. Alxamdulillah.

[Saxansaxo]

Ms MoOns;980400 wrote:

I barely deal with my inlaws. Especially because hubby's parents passed away when he was too little to understand (ilaheey ha u naxariisto). And the rest of his family is in Africa, except one sister.

 

A lot of people waxey i dhahaan, you're lucky you don't have any inlaw parents. That always leaves me stunned, it just sounds wrong, like they've passed away, only Allah how they would've been, maybe I would've been lucky to have them as inlaw parents. Allaahu aclam.

Ameen walaal....I see where you are coming from & its not right to say that ....Waa laga wanaagsanyahay,. There are plenty of good inlaws out there and if one marry into a good family then wax ka wanaagsani ma jiraan.

 

Qansax meygaag. MashaAllah thats sweet, Ilaahay ha isu kiin daayo.

[somalee]

Saxansaxo;975714 wrote:

When considering marriage how important is the guy/girls family to you? By family I mean the inlaws.

Would you go for a guy/girl that has a mother or a father that is very difficult to handle, one who tends to meddle in most marital affairs of their kids, is very controlling, etc.

 

Would you reject a person on the basis of whats above, thinking its not worth the hassle in the long run. Or would you go for it, perhaps thinking the person would be reasonable enough to put his/hers foot down if they were to overstep the boundaries of whats tolerating.

 

Im asking this because lately I have seen the disastrous effects close family members can have on peoples marriage.. Some people are imtixaan soconaya...

Its a very important issue you've raised here. Unfortunately this is prevalent within Somalis, I would say 'checking out' the girl's parents is as important as choosing the girl herself. From what I have seen, mostly its the girls' mothers that prove to be very difficult. Fathers often times don't meddle in their children's marriages. Getting married to a girl whose mother doesn't respect and like you can be very disastrous, especially if the mother lives in the same town or country. On the other hand, if the girl is too good to let go, I would say just stick with her and move to a different place. As soon as a Somali mother realizes her girl loves a man and she would do anything for him, faraha ayay ka qaadaan hablohooda. Lol. Sodoh wanaagsan Ilaahay unbaa laga heli karaa.

[somalee]

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