Men are like......

[lovely me]

Men are like......

 

.....placemats

they only show up when there's food on the table.

 

.....mascara

they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

 

.....bike helmets

they're good in emergencies but usually just look silly.

 

.....government bonds

they take so long to mature.

 

.....copiers

you need them in reproduction but that's about it.

 

.....lava lamps

fun to look at it but not all that bright.

 

.....bank accounts

without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

 

.....high heels

they're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

 

.....curling irons

they're always hot and always in your hair.

 

.....mini skirts

if your not careful they'll creep up your legs.

 

.....handguns

keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

[Senora]

LOL, i needed the laugh

 

both of your topics were funny, but i liked this one better, ( yeah go ahead and call me unfair just cause I'm a girl, lol)

[underdog]

I'm not too surprised that you may see us that way. BUT, let me help some of the guys out there; 2 things: Understanding women and the rules they go by.

 

Understanding a Woman

1.You want REALLY MEANS You want

2.We need REALLY MEANS I want It's your decision REALLY MEANS The correct decision should be obvious by now.

3.Do what you want REALLY MEANS You'll pay for this later.

4.We need to talk REALLY MEANS I need to complain

5.Sure... go ahead REALLY MEANS I don't want you to.

6.I'm not upset REALLY MEANS Of course I'm upset, you moron!

7.You're ... so manly REALLY MEANS You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

8.You're certainly attentive tonight. REALLY MEANS Is sex all you ever think about?

9.I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! REALLY MEANS I'm on my period.

10.Be romantic, turn out the lights. REALLY MEANS I'm Embarrassed

11.This kitchen is so inconvenient REALLY MEANS I want a new house

12.You have to learn to communicate. REALLY MEANS Just agree with me.

13.Yes REALLY MEANS No - No REALLY MEANS No - Maybe REALLY MEANS No

14.Hang the picture there REALLY MEANS NO, I mean hang it there!

15.I heard a noise REALLY MEANS I noticed you were almost asleep.

16.Do you love me? REALLY MEANS I'm going to ask for something expensive.

17.How much do you love me? REALLY MEANS I did something today you're really not going to like.

18.I'll be ready in a minute. REALLY MEANS Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

19.Am I a little fat? REALLY MEANS Tell me I'm beautiful.

20.I'm sorry. REALLY MEANS You'll be sorry.

21.Do you like this recipe? REALLY MEANS It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it

22.Was that the baby? REALLY MEANS Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

23.I'm not yelling! REALLY MEANS Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

24.All we're going to buy is a soap dish REALLY MEANS It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new dresses, and those lavender sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

 

Now that you think you understand here are the RULES:

 

1.The female always makes the rules.

2.The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3.No male can possibly know all the rules.

4.If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all the rules.

5.The female is never wrong.

6.If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7.If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8.The female can change her mind at any given point in time for any reason.

9.The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.

10.The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11.The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12.The female must not, under any circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13.Any attempt by the male to document these rules could result in severe bodily harm.

14.If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void

[Captivating_SouL]

Underdog....

what can i say'...we're one of a kind spieces. Cant hate us cuz you know deep down you dont want a Fag and cant love us with our rules---THEN DANG, WHAT ON EARTH DO YA'LL WANT.?

---UMMMM COULD IT BE CONTROL; YEAH GOTCHA THERE. BUT SADLY, IT CANT WORK..SO WHATCHA WANNA DO BOUT IT THEN>...WE'RE EVERYTHING OUR EARLIER GENERATION NEVER THOUGHT. SO WITH FEW WORDS

 

EITHER LOVE THE RULES OR BOUNCE !!

LOVE THE MIX MESSEGES CUZ IT MAKES ALL THE FUN WHEN YOU'RE TRYNA SOLVE IT OR DONT PLAY IT AT ALL.

I'M MAN HATING TODAY' DONT MIND ME LOOOL

 

*1

XXX

[underdog]

No sweat sweet thang,

I'm not complaining about the rules. Like any Sport, theres got to be rules. Thats what separates the Champs(me) and the Chumps. Make no mistake there might be some penalties baby, but I always play to win.

[underdog]

You're right about Men being like government bonds!

They're both the same, steadily increasing in value, predictable and vastly undervalued by people who don't understand them.

[Baluug]

How's about this one....Women are like toilets....neither of them are good for sh*t without the hole in the middle!

[Young Jeezy]

good joke. I found that really funny.

[FatB]

don't get it but loooooooool

[Haaraahur.]

Underdog wrote;

-----------------------------------------------

Do what you want REALLY MEANS You'll pay for this later.

 

I'm not upset REALLY MEANS Of course I'm upset, you moron!

-------------------------------------------------

 

-------------------------------------------------

If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all the rules

-------------------------------------------------

^ some updating is now in order don't u think

 

 

warya: Is not your mother a woman too? no offence but i found that joke vulgar