Che -Guevara Posted April 24, 2013 ^I lost you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted April 24, 2013 ^ lol what part, the istiinka or stimulation part or the interlinked part, don't worry about the musalsal of girfriends and boyfriends the link can even grow bigger which at a later stage becomes obvious and qarxis occurs at the worst times aan la filaneyn. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rahima Posted April 25, 2013 *Blessed;942711 wrote: Read this earlier.. interesting over view of many matters.. I wonder if one marriage is not registered are wives considered equal? How does a man in the UK manage to finance several households? http://www.newstatesman.com/lifestyle/religion/2013/04/what-kind-woman-willing-share-her-husband Interesting article although so much of it disgusted me. Kulahaa it's not about the sex, OF COURSE IT IS.In the case of Somali men, it's the sex and the potential of procreating like a rabbit. And another thing, news to me that the Quran 'instructs' men to marry more than one wife. As for the topic, to date i fail to understand the obsession with blaming women. It is the husband who needs to have loyalty to his wife- it is silly to expect loyalty from a person who has not made any commitment to you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Che -Guevara Posted April 25, 2013 *Blessed;942711 wrote: How does a man in the UK manage to finance several households? That's the westerner in you thinking out loud. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rahima Posted April 25, 2013 ^ No Che, that is what Islam states. If you can't afford it don't do it. And believe you me, no man i've ever met can afford to maintain two households at a level which is considered average in western societies. Here in Australia we have a welfare system and men seem to think that because the government provides some financial assistance that they can afford to have two wives when in fact that is incorrect. Islam demands that a man works to provide for his family and not expect others (in this case the tax payer) to foot the bill. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted April 25, 2013 Didn't know the ceydh system were used to finance multiple wives, wax cusub unbaa la baran mar kasta, so not only they are milking the system, but also are milking the poor wives. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rahima Posted April 25, 2013 ^ They're shameless walaahi- often times the second wife has to declare single mother status to get some extra financial support because he is unable to sustain both families. Somali men (and the wives) are the main culprits, you rarely hear of this in other muslim communities. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Che -Guevara Posted April 25, 2013 Rahima. I was referring to their thought process. Ilaahey baa caruurta korinaya ama iyaagaa iska koraya vs how can a man support two families in the west. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted April 25, 2013 ^I'm at peace with the westerner in me but I've learned this life lesson from my Somali parents - "Illahay baa caruurta korinaya" is a cop out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chubacka Posted April 25, 2013 Don't you think it's irresponsible @ Che for a man to take on another family if he cannot support them fully? The kids will grow up but that really isn't saying very much. The fact they survived childhood does not a mean job well done in most cases! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ElPunto Posted April 26, 2013 I think Somali women need to exercise their rights in Islam if they don't want to share their husbands. You can specify in your marriage contract - no second wife or automatic divorce. At the end of the day - I'm not sure any man can justify taking other wives if they truly love their first. Another point - many of the Sahaba married multiple woman for maintenance of widows and orphans. There was a degree of selflessness in that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites