The Rocks Chick Posted September 21, 2002 Things To Say When You're Stressed at Work :mad: > > > > >> > > > > > >> > > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Un**** you!!! > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 2. You say I'm a ***** like it's a bad thing?! > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 3. How many times do I have to flush before you go away? > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 4. Well this day was a total waste of make-up. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 5. Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine? > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 6. Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 7. Do I look like a ******* people person! > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 8. This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 9. I started out with nothing, still have most of it left. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 10. I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 11. YOU!!... Off my planet!!! > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 12. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 13. Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of > > > > >> > self-control. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 14. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 15. And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be.....? > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 16. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 17. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 18. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 19. Do they ever shut up on your planet? > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 20. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 21. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 22. Back off!! You're standing in my aura. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 23. Don't worry. I forgot your name too. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 24. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 25. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 26. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 27. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 28. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 29. Chaos, panic and disorder . . . my work here is done. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 30. Ambivalent? Well yes and no. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 31. You look like shit. Is that the style now? > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 32. Earth is full. Go home. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 33. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego? > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 34. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 35. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 36. You are depriving some village of an idiot. > > > > >> > > > > > >> > 37. If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Rocks Chick Posted September 21, 2002 Here is another one; JOYS OF BEING MARRIED > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > >>> A newlywed couple had only been married for a few weeks. The > > > > > > >>> husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to get out > on > > > > > >the > > > > > > >>> town and party with his old buddies. So, he says to his new > > >wife, > > > > > > >>> "Honey, > > > > > > >>> I'll be right back." > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > >>> "Where are you going, coochy-coo...?" asked the wife. > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > >>> "I'm going to the bar pretty face, to have a beer." > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > >>> The wife says, "You want a beer, my love?" She opens the door > > > > > > >>> to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different brands of beers > > > > > >from > > > > > > >>> 12 different countries. > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > >>> The husband didn't know what to do. The only thing that he > could > > > > > > >>> to say was, "Yes, but at the bar...you know...they > have...frozen > > > > > > >>> mugs." > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > >>> He didn't get to finish the sentence. The wife interrupted > him, > > > > > > >>> saying, > > > > > > >>> "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She opened the freezer > > >and > > > > > > >>> handed him a frozen solid mug. > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > >>> The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but > > >at > > > > > >the > > > > > > >>> bar > > > > > > >>> they have those special hors d'oeuvres that are really > > > > > >delicious...I > > > > > > >>> won't be to long...I'll be right back...I promise. OK?" > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > >>> "You want hors d'oeuvres, poochy poo?" She opened the oven and > > >took > > > > > > > > > > > > >>> out 5 > > > > > > >>> dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: spicy chicken wings, pigs > in > > > > >a > > > > > > >>> blanket, fried mushrooms, pork strips, cheese dip, the works. > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > >>> "But sweetie, at the bar...you know...the guys are cussing and > > > > > > >>> swearing..." > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > >>> The wife replies, "You want cussing and swearing, cutie pie? > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > >>> THEN LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! > > > > > > >>> DRINK YOUR ****IN BEER, IN THIS DAMN FROZEN MUG, > > > > > > >>> AND EAT YOUR MOTHER****ING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING > OUT > > > > > >WITH > > > > > > >>> YOUR > > > > > > >>> SHITHEAD FRIENDS ANYMORE! YOU GOT THAT, ASSHOLE. > > > > > > >>> > > > > > > Seriously, how cute is that........lol You go girl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Rocks Chick Posted September 21, 2002 Ok, how true is this?!!!! :eek: Subject: FW: YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN 2002 WHEN ....(Very true) > > > > > > > > 1. Your reason for not staying in touch with family > > > > > > > is because they do not have e-mail addresses. > > > > > > > 2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your > > > > > > > family of three. > > > > > > > 3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's > > > > > > > time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, > > > > > > > "What's for dinner?" > > > > > > > 4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site. > > > > > > > 5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from > > > > > > > South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your > > > > > > > next door neighbor yet this year. > > > > > > > 6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken > > > > > > noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea. > > > > > > > 7. Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG > > > > > > > file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver. > > > > > > > 8. You pull up in your own driveway and use your > > > > > > > cell phone to see if anyone is home. > > > > > > > 9. Every commercial on television has a web site > > > > > > > address at the bottom of the screen. > > > > > > > 10. You buy a computer and 6 months later it is > > > > > > > out of date and now sells for half the price you paid. > > > > > > > 11. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have > > the first 20 or 30 years of your > > > > > > > life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it. > > > > > > > 12. Using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase > > > > > > would be a hassle and takes planning. > > > > > > > 13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting > > > > > > > the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car. > > > > > > > 14. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave. > > > > > > > 15. You consider second day air delivery painfully slow. > > > > > > > 16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet. > > > > > > > 17. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored Post-it notes. > > > > > > > 18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person. > > > > > > > 19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls. > > > > > > > 20. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if > > you just pulled the plug on > > > > > > > a loved one. > > > > > > > 21. You get up in morning and go on-line before getting your coffee. > > > > > > > 22. You wake up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom, check your E-mail on > your > > way back to bed. > > > > > > > 23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile > > > > > > > 24. You're reading this!!!!!!!!!!! > > > > > > > 25. Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else. (and I did) > > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Rocks Chick Posted September 21, 2002 I hope y'all enjoyed that, my favourate is the Joy of being married,...........lol. Later peeps Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar Posted September 21, 2002 Salaan... Funny, but walashiis, 'office work' does not concern us. Anaga waxaa tumnaa warehouse, so bring warehouse jokes. Possibly, drop that SunShine Girl from that tabloid. Yeah, in order to know the current events, we have to read that fake paper. Including that GIRL on the last page. LoooooooL. Yac dheh. Maan, that paper, how I hate it. I promised myself never, never buy it, let alone read it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted September 21, 2002 rock _chicka,i haven't seen u nowadays,where have u been. that was really entertaining,give us more sis!! i almost laughed,i like the one: earth is full,go home,that is really true,damn true!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Macalin Posted September 21, 2002 Rocks.here we meet again.. that was funny..i liked this one..aniga. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable...funny funny Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Rocks Chick Posted September 24, 2002 Well, I am glad y'all liked it and thought it was funny, it was my intention to make you laugh and clear my inbox at the same time, I'll say mission accomplished MMA, I'll see what I can do about the warehouse situation, it is gonna be a challenge By the way, why dont you like the SunShineGirl , I always look forward to the SunShineMan...mmmhhhh Nuune, Hi bro, I've been around just keeping busy with work and work....lol Lakkadd, There you are :rolleyes: ......... Later Peeps Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted September 24, 2002 rock's chika, i really laughed again when u said this: it was my intention to make you laugh and clear my inbox at the same time, I'll say mission accomplished MMA, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Medley of extemporanea Posted September 24, 2002 Hey Rock's, in the 2002 list, you had: " 20. You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one." :confused: Dial-up is sooooooooooo 1999, get with the times. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haaruun Posted September 24, 2002 LOL@Haniif...so true, by the way r u a cross eximinor. GOOOD1 Rock...that was funny; hook me up with the joke site u got that from...lol LOl@clearing my inbox.....did u find any familiar pple there Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Rocks Chick Posted September 24, 2002 Haniif, I must apologize for offending you with something that is so last millennium.....so sorry,how inconsiderate of me, but you see I am only guilty of cut and paste Haaruun, people email me this stuff, so I dont know where they got it, but I'll forward it to you in the future Later peeps Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HONEY-D Posted September 26, 2002 THE ROCKS CHIC THNX 4DA LAUGHT SIS You ! ! ... Off my planet !!! THAT'S WAT I KEEP TELLING PPL WHO R LOST ON THEIR WAY TO EARTH. :mad: Do they ever shut up on your planet NO THEY DONT AND DATS DA TROUBLE WITH CAMBAROOYIN :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Diaspora_Dude Posted September 26, 2002 GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX IT SEEMS THAT I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING GAX GAX GAX GAX GAX THANKS FOR THE HUMOR ROCK'S CHICK Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
