Fatherhood

[SomaliPhilosopher]

cousins? wow

[Safferz]

SomaliPhilosopher;937312 wrote:

cousins? wow

Nah, just a qabiil connection lol. I don't know Wadani in person.

[Chimera]

[Juxa]

Wadani;937231 wrote:

That's reasonable if the wifes academic abilities and earning power justify it so.

If you look at it objectively it is more likely the Somali women are the ones with the education and careers, so justification will not be too hard. Still they are expected to dive into the kitchen as soon as the board meeting is over.

 

Life is just not fair on Somali women, be it in qurbaha or wadanka dhexdiisa

[Chimera]

Juxa;937390 wrote:

If you look at it objectively it is more likely the Somali women are the ones with the education and careers

, so justification will not be too hard. Still they are expected to dive into the kitchen as soon as the board meeting is over.

 

Life is just not fair on Somali women, be it in qurbaha or wadanka dhexdiisa

Not true, when we actually look at the statistics, dear Juxa. Unfortunately many with promising careers do opt for motherhood, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I'm probably going to be a stay-at-home dad, since I'll be my own boss.

 

This is going to be me:

 

While the Queen chases her dreams:

[Juxa]

Saaxiib read waxan qorey, i did not talk about motherhood and that option. I was refering to Wadani's comment

 

Motherhood itself waa shaqo sow ma ogid, in fact waa 24/7 shaqo ah

[Chimera]

That's the thing Juxa, the assumption that Somali women are more educated and employed than their male-counterparts is a myth, our communities would have collapsed a long time ago if that were to be the case. In a scenario where the women are the more educated group pursuing lucrative careers, there are two obvious changes that happen; 1) the males assume the mother role or 2) the birth rate goes down. In the Somali communities neither of the two changes has happened, which is why you have many sisters after marrying the guys they love opting for raising the kids with the promise of reaching their personal aspirations a few year down the line.

 

This is where the brothers have to step up and take over, by giving their wives the time and space to achieve their goals when the kids are past kindergarten.

[Juxa]

Fiiri, labadeena indhaha maan istireenaa.......one majority of somali men will not opt to be stay at home dads, regardless of whether he has a job or not, second past 20 years the role of the somali women have become 10 fold, she works and raises the children.Of course most women do it willingly. No amount of career and prestige equals to the joy of raising family for many women, not all.

 

I hope things will change, i doubt it will be my life time. Now can we go back to the libaaxyo

[Chimera]

^

 

[underdog]

Apophis;937199 wrote:

Now let us see the other side of fatherhood; you know, having to deal with ugly, ugly kids:D

 

To say the least.

 

http://youtu.be/J8u3CrYsww0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>

[Blessed]

Juxa, that's true for those in the diaspora but unfortunately isn't for our sisters back home who lack the opportunity and those who have access to opportunities are discouraged by the community.

 

 

Nin-Yaaban;937276 wrote:

Horta su'aal......why is there so many Somali songs for HOOYO (Macaan) but not as much for AABE (Aabo) in our community? As much as fathers have to deal with, i think it's time FATHERS should be proud for what they did for community.

because there are many instances of fathers abandoning their children in our community.

[Safferz]

Chimera;937395 wrote:

That's the thing Juxa,

the assumption that Somali women are more educated and employed than their male-counterparts is a myth, our communities would have collapsed a long time ago if that were to be the case.

In a scenario where the women are the more educated group pursuing lucrative careers, there are two obvious changes that happen; 1) the males assume the mother role or 2) the birth rate goes down. In the Somali communities neither of the two changes has happened, which is why you have many sisters after marrying the guys they love opting for raising the kids with the promise of reaching their personal aspirations a few year down the line.

 

This is where the brothers have to step up and take over, by giving their wives the time and space to achieve their goals when the kids are past kindergarten.

Where are the statistics you claim show Somali women are less employed and less educated than their male counterparts? And how do educated, working women lead to the collapse of our communities?

[Chimera]

Safferz;937524 wrote:

Where are the statistics you claim show Somali women are less employed

Labor participation rate for Somali women is very low, much lower than that of men. It doesn't matter which country with a sizable community you look at. It's logical considering the structure of the Somali community. Three examples of the employment rate difference:

 

UK – Somali men 40.1% employed - Somali women 9.6% - WIKI

USA – Somali men 51% employed - Somali women 38.5% - Link

Denmark - Somali men 34% employed - Somali women 22% - Link

 

and less educated than their male counterparts?

Never said that, they're roughly the same, with Somali men having a higher proficiency in English. Listen, my post wasn't some invitation for a gender war, considering each side is one half of the same team. However, I feel when people project that stereotype of "sisters outdoing the brothers" based on news headlines or dropout rates, they are doing the community a big disservice by neglecting a significant group that needs attention, support and assistance.

 

And how do educated, working women lead to the collapse of our communities?

The community wouldn't collapse because they're "educated" or "working women", (nice twist) however a large section of our community unfortunately due to war, divorce or other reasons is headed by single-mother households. Its very difficult for such a mother to juggle all of these responsibilities with a career/university on the side, if she did do this, then the kids would be neglected badly.

 

There has to be a balance, if sisters opt for higher education or a career, then the brothers have to become the fathers that pick their kids up from school. feed them, bathe them and put them to bed. Otherwise, again the sister would be forced to drop all of her personal dreams and become a full-time mom. I have seen many Somali fathers like that, but it all depends on the mentality of the couple, and whether they're willing to compromise.

[Nin-Yaaban]

Safferz;937524 wrote:

Where are the statistics you claim show Somali women are less employed and less educated than their male counterparts? And how do educated, working women lead to the collapse of our communities?

If anything, Somali women are pulling way ahead of men in academics. They are also more likely to hold down a stable job with higher income. I was at this community college few weeks ago looking to enroll in classes, and I think i counted at least 5 young Somali girls and maybe 1 Somali guy.

 

The gender roles are being redrawn and wouldn't surprise me if women start bossing around men in the near future.

[Blessed]

Chimera;937534 wrote:

There has to be a balance, if sisters opt for higher education or a career, then the brothers have to become the fathers that pick their kids up from school. feed them, bathe them and put them to bed. Otherwise, again the sister would be forced to drop all of her personal dreams and become a full-time mom. I have seen many Somali fathers like that, but it all depends on the mentality of the couple, and whether they're willing to compromise.

It is possible for both parents to work and raise a family, the two aren't mutually exclusive as you suggest.