Fatherhood

[Safferz]

Wadani;937252 wrote:

Like I said, if a woman is such an asset that the cons of sacrificing her academic and career aspirations would outweigh those of being an academic/career woman first and foremost, then yes in such cases it's justified for her to displace childrearing from its primary position. In such a case the husband would have to step up and do many of the things his wife no longer has the time or energy to do.

That's what I mean -- why is she the default primary caregiver in the first place? Why isn't parenting a shared role, as it should be?

[Wadani]

Safferz;937253 wrote:

That's what I mean -- why is she the default primary caregiver in the first place? Why isn't parenting a shared role, as it should be?

lol, I don't know, there's just something natural about it. But all i know is theres nothing like a mothers love and fathers don't compare, at all. I'm very grateful that my mother was the primary caregiver for me. As for ur statement about it being unpaid work....everything doesn't have to be valued in economic terms. Having a upstanding and virtuous son who loves her dearly is a better recompense for any mother than millions of dollars...trust me.

[SomaliPhilosopher]

Apophis;937255 wrote:

Because as a women, you've lost the lottery of nature dee. Don't blame men, blame nature for she's a cruel b1tch

+1. Though I dont know about her being cruel...

[Safferz]

Wadani;937259 wrote:

lol, I don't know. I geuss it should be. But all i know is theres nothing like a mothers love and fathers don't compare, at all. I'm very grateful that my mother was the primary caregiver for me. As for ur statement about it being

unpaid work....everything doesn't have to be valued in economic terms.

Having a upstanding and virtuous son who loves her dearly is a better recompense for any mother than millions dollars...trust me.

It needs to be put into economic terms because care work is invisible and naturalized (see Apophis' comment), so most people don't see the actual value (and opportunity cost) of the work women perform in the household. Women also make up the majority of the world's poor. Some economists have done pretty interesting work in this field, trying to put a monetary value on women's unpaid labour to quantify its contribution to the household and the economy. Your mother's labour over 20something years of raising you may well be worth over a million dollars, when you add up the hours

 

I grew up differently, with a career mom who spent years working on becoming a licensed professional in her practice in this country and have her degrees recognized, while my dad stood beside her and supported her through the process. It was abo who was the one to take us to school in the mornings, pack our lunches and clean the house so my mom wouldn't have to worry about it when she'd come home exhausted in the evenings and he was away on night-shift. So that's my model for fatherhood

[SomaliPhilosopher]

^^^

Are your parents Asha Haji Elmi and Cabdi Faarax Shirdoon

[Nin-Yaaban]

ILMO (Ciyaal), first they step on your toes and then they stop on your HEARTS. Such is life as a FATHER.

[Safferz]

SomaliPhilosopher;937271 wrote:

^^^

Are your parents Asha Haji Elmi and Cabdi Faarax Shirdoon

Haha no, they're just normal folks in Toronto

[Nin-Yaaban]

Horta su'aal......why is there so many Somali songs for HOOYO (Macaan) but not as much for AABE (Aabo) in our community? As much as fathers have to deal with, i think it's time FATHERS should be proud for what they did for community.

[SomaliPhilosopher]

^^Hear of the oedipus complex bro?

[Wadani]

Safferz;937270 wrote:

It needs to be put into economic terms because care work is invisible and naturalized (see Apophis' comment), so most people don't see the actual value (and opportunity cost) of the work women perform in the household. Women also make up the majority of the world's poor. Some

economists

have done pretty interesting work in this

field

, trying to put a monetary value on women's unpaid labour to quantify its contribution to the household and the economy. Your mother's labour over 20something years of raising you may well be worth over a million dollars, when you add up the hours

 

I grew up differently, with a career mom

who spent years working on becoming a licensed professional in her practice in this country and have her degrees recognized, while my dad stood beside her and supported her through the process. It was abo who was the one to take us to school in the mornings, pack our lunches and clean the house so my mom wouldn't have to worry about it when she'd come home exhausted in the evenings and he was away on night-shift. So that's my model for fatherhood

Y assume my mother wasn't/isn't a career woman?

[SomaliPhilosopher]

Wadani;937286 wrote:

Y assume my mother wasn't/isn't a career woman?

already having troubles with the in-laws mate?

[Safferz]

Wadani;937286 wrote:

Y assume my mother wasn't/isn't a career woman?

The context of our conversation -- your position on the role of mothers and careers, and the way you worded your last post to describe her as your "primary caregiver" led me to believe she was a stay at home mom. Was I wrong?

[Safferz]

SomaliPhilosopher;937288 wrote:

already having troubles with the in-laws mate?

lool stop trying to make it happen SP, my "career mom" is Wadani's eedo

[Wadani]

SomaliPhilosopher;937288 wrote:

already having troubles with the in-laws mate?

U gotta mix it up a bit u know, or things get stale lool.

[Wadani]

Safferz;937289 wrote:

The context of our conversation -- your position on the role of mothers and careers, and the way you worded your last post to describe her as your "primary caregiver" led me to believe she was a stay at home mom. Was I wrong?

My position on the role of mothers and careers is independent of my mother's actual role, and 'primary caregiver' isn't mutually exclusive with 'career woman'. But were u wrong? No, actually u pretty accurate.