Qoryooley_Tuug Posted May 29, 2002 These are the reasons i hate lawyers except johnny cochran...ahaha... Q:Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? A:They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. Q:How are an apple and a lawyer alike? A:They both look good hanging from a tree. Q:How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer? A:her stomach is curved like a baloney sandwitch Q:How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A:His lips are moving. Q:How does an attorney sleep? A:First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Q:How many lawyer jokes are there? A:Only three. The rest are true stories. Q:How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company. Q:If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper? A:read the paper Q:What did the lawyer name his daughter? A:Sue. Q:What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? A:They're both extinct. Q:What do lawyers and sperm have in common? A:It takes 300,000 of them to make one human being. Q:What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement? A:Not enough cement. Q:What do you call a lawyer gone bad? A:Senator. Q:What do you do if you run over a lawyer? A:Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch on the steering wheel. Q:What does a lawyer do after sex? A:Pays the bill. Q:What does a lawyer use for birth-control? A:His personality. Q:What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute? A:Who cares? Q:What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra? A:He gets taller. Q:What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer? A:Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do. Q:What should you do if you find a lawyer buried up to his neck in cement? A:Get more cement. Q:What type of apparel is the most popular with lawyers? A:Law-suits. Q:What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A:There are skid marks in front of the dog. Q:What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dirt? A:Q:The bucket. Q:What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar? A:The pronunciation. Q:What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A:A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead. Q:What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A:Removable wingtips. Q:Where can you find a good lawyer? A:The nearest cemetery. Q:Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A:To practice. Q:Why don't lawyers go to the beach? A:Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand. Q:Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A:Professional courtesy. Q:You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? A:Shoot the lawyer. Twice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nuune Posted May 29, 2002 oh that was good!!!!!!!!!!!! peace!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
heavenly Posted June 22, 2002 :eek: ouch! but it was funny still hehehheheheh Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
