Actual Church bulletins

[Hibo]

these are actual church bulletins from across north america

 

1) Dont let worry kill you,let the church help.

 

2) Thursday night Potluck supper, prayer and medication follow.

 

3) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

 

4) For those of you who have children and dont know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

 

5) this afternoon there will be a meeting at the north and south ends of the church,children will be babtized at both ends

 

6) Tuesday 4pm there wil be an ice cream social, all ladies giving milk please come early.

 

7) Thursday at 5pm there will be a meeting of the little mothers club, all wishing to be little mother please see the minister in his private study.

 

8) This being Easter sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay and egg on the altar.

 

9) On sunday the service will close with "little drops of water" one of the ladies will star (quietly)and the rest of the congregation will follow.

 

10) The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on friday.

 

11) A bean supper will be held on tuesday evening.Music will follow.

 

12) At the evening service tonight the topic will be "what is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practise.

 

13)Pastor is on vaction, massages can be given to the church secretary

 

14) 8 new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of sevral new members and to the deteriorration of some of the older ones

 

15) Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes

 

16) The senior choir invites any members of the congregation who enjoy sinning to join the choir.

 

17) Scouts are saving aluminum cans,bottles, and other items to be recycled. The proceeds will be going to cripple children

 

18) The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julie Belzer.

 

19) The Associate minister unvieled the church's new campain slogan last sunday

"I upped my pledge...up yours"

 

20) The Spring Council retreat will be hell may 10th and 11th

[Hibo]

wlahai those were funny especially #6 it just shows how wack the church is

[ajakis]

loooooool...waraa kaniisada saas lee meey waqti dhamees u eheed?? waraa qosol iima harine bas iga dheh bo hahahahahhah