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Coofle

Cold-feet!

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Coofle   

After few days I am going to commit legally in bonding of matrimony, its sunnah and a normal developmental milestone in every human's life. with the burning and heavy lust off my shoulders, I believe I will have free mind to practice my daily religious obligations with more devotedness and humility.

 

Right now, I have the fears of the world rampaging in my mind, Did you do this fast? are you ready for this? Single life is way much better why lose it? Reerkiina maxaad uga guursan waysay! lolz? How about your performance ? etc ...

 

I do love my other, but still I keep getting millions of reasons not to do it, and a single reason to do it! That I am vastly invaded by the ghost of bidaar (just kiddin) its because I do love her...and the moment I see her all my fears and cold-feet wither like a dust blown off a paper. I have seen lots of woman but she is someone I am chained to and worse, Need and want....

 

For the married lot,,,is it normal to have some cold-feet before stepping into this new world? misa wax kale ayaa jira? If you had them, what did you do to dismiss those thoughts?

 

My only conclusion is that Satan is whispering to my ears,,,I need in la iga cuudiyo ...

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Coofle   

Che -Guevara;917292 wrote:
Don't do it but then again, I am not married.

Meel laga soo noqdo ma joogo, plus the idea of not getting her is not pleasant (in more sentiment words -devastating-) ...but again you are not married...Waar niyaw guurka wax badan baa lagu sheegaye aan ka war keeno., in badan baa la igu khuukhiyay.

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Coofle. Judging from your words, it's fair to say your mind is made up, the only advice I could render at this juncture, don't go into it with any assumptions be negative or positive. It's general rule I employ but I imagine it applies to marriage as well.

 

 

My divorced buddy gave me this advice,

 

'a happy wife is happy home'. but to me, happiness is subjective thing.

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Juxa   

Whatever you are feeling, multiply by 1000 and that is what she feels, fear of failure, did i settle? could i have done better than Coofle-bidaar? have i rushed to first faarax that smiled at me? am i disappointing my parents?

 

All those whispers waa Sheydaan marka intaad bisinka uqabatid oo aad dhexda giijisid madax-madax isku tuur.

 

Hambalyo, kheyr allaha kaga dhigo, gabar iyo caano insha allah

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Juxa   

Dont put him off...........it really is not that bad, being somali and all you dont even have to acknowledge anyone, just stare at your shoes and say HAA to everything....in fact HAA is your best ally and you will do well to remember that

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NGONGE   

Juxa;917313 wrote:
Dont put him off...........it really is not that bad, being somali and all you dont even have to acknowledge anyone, just stare at your shoes and say HAA to everything....in fact HAA is your best ally and you will do well to remember that

He's not scared of the meher itself. He's scared of marraige. He has every right to be scared. In fact, he really doesn't know what he's letting himself into (but who does really). However, I think one either have to be young or a proper geesi to go ahead with something like this. AND, since Coofle is not that young, I have every faith in him being a geesi (unlike Che). :D

 

Go for it saaxib but always always remember that women are mad. It'll save you years of confusion and plotting.

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Coofle;917291 wrote:
After few days I am going to commit legally in bonding of matrimony, its
sunnah
and a normal developmental milestone in every human's life. with the burning and heavy lust off my shoulders, I believe I will have free mind to practice my daily religious obligations with more devotedness and humility.

 

Right now, I have the fears of the world rampaging in my mind,
Did you do this fast? are you ready for this? Single life is way much better why lose it?
Reerkiina maxaad uga guursan waysay! lolz? How about your performance ? etc ...

 

I do love my other, but still I keep getting millions of reasons not to do it, and a single reason to do it! That I am vastly invaded by the ghost of bidaar (just kiddin) its because I do love her...and the moment I see her all my fears and cold-feet wither like a dust blown off a paper. I have seen lots of woman but she is someone I am chained to and worse, Need and want....

 

For the married lot,,,is it normal to have some cold-feet before stepping into this new world? misa wax kale ayaa jira?
If you had them, what did you do to dismiss those thoughts?

 

My only conclusion is that Satan is whispering to my ears,,,I need in la iga cuudiyo ...

Perfectly normal bro; go for it.

 

As for performance anxiety, the main thing people fear is "coming too soon".

 

I have two piece of advice for you there 1) take a mild medicine which reduces anxiety, 1.5mg of alprazolam or Xanax for both you and her should do the trick 2) and for you , "choke the chicken first"; "bash the bishop" "play your own violin" first, and only go in when you have scored an own goal if you catch my drift....you will last longer...And forget what the Sheikhs told you (who made them experts in every field anyway), am talking dharuura here...

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