All the single ladies, all the single ladies....

[NGONGE]

The topic of discussion today is RAGIIDA!

 

In the tube the other day, I was sat silently reading my paper in a half full carriage when a familiar sound began sneaking to my ears. It was high, slightly screechy and parts of it were not even in English. I looked up from my paper to see that it was coming from the direction of two twenty-something Somali girls. They were talking about boys. Well, if I am being factual here I should really say that they were talking about Somali men (or what is colloquially known as Faraxs).

 

The two girls were really deep into their conversation and didn’t notice me looking at them. And, OH, did I look! It wasn’t their beauty, attractiveness or the eloquence of their delivery that caught my eye. It were their crazed facial expressions and dramatic body language that made me stare like a man in a park that just spotted a big and angry Alsatian heading his way.

 

The body language of conversing Somalis is an amazing spectacle. If you block out the sound and simply observe the animation on its own, I would wager that nine out of ten people would conclude that they’re watching two mentally disturbed persons having a conversation. This was the same. Though, unfortunately (or maybe it was fortunate) I couldn’t block the sound out.

 

The gist of their discussion was that all Somali men were Faraxs that never grow up. Now, it wasn’t for me to agree or disagree with such sentiment for I were merely an innocent voyeur and had no say in the matter. However, I did allow my mind to drift and follow one strand of the argument whilst adding my own questions to it.

 

The tall girl with the slightly bent back and massive hoop earrings protruding from under her hijab was saying “He’s twenty-five and still acts like my fifteen year old brother. It’s like he never grew up”.

Her long nosed, red lipped and altogether uncoordinated friend added “It’s not just him, wallahi; it’s all his mates and most Somali guys his age. I blame their mothers”.

 

Their voices drop and they themselves began to fade away (save for that bent back, hoops and those red lips) and I found myself thinking of coming of age customs and bar mitzvahs. Are there any rites of passage rituals in Somalia, I wonder!

 

In the Houthi strongholds of Yemen, the coming of age ceremony takes place when boys are eighteen years of age and are ready for marriage. Before reaching that age or stage of life (i.e. marriage), they are treated as children. Now this might sound silly but there is some understandable logic related to this choice. Houthis are a tribal society where revenge and retaliation killings are rife amongst clans. However, the rules of warfare amongst them are that no children or women are to be harmed despite any historical grudges. So, if a man kills your brother, you get your revenge by killing that man, his son or his brother. Nevertheless, if the son happens to be under the age of eighteen, you must hold your fire until he comes of age.

 

Now proving that a person is eighteen or over is a hard thing to do, especially when you consider that this is an ancient custom and that no birth certificates existed at the time (and probably not even now). A boy’s only means of proving that he’s not of age is his genitals; these also play a major role in the rite of passage ceremony.

 

Often the case was that a young boy was ready for marriage which in turn necessitated the putting in motion the act of declaring him an adult (with all the responsibilities adulthood entails). The ceremony was simple yet gruesome and very brave. It consisted of the boy surrounded by his whole family, members of his clan and even his wife to be. He would stand up in front of them and declare that he is ready and call the barber (for they often moonlighted as circumcisers) to cut off his foreskin! He would be stripped from the waist down and his symbol of manliness would be butchered in full view of the entire assembly (including the wretched wife to be). The young groom/man must not show any outward signs of pain, wince or cry lest he shame himself, his clan and the wife he’s about to marry. Once the deed is done, he is declared a man free to carry arms, marry and assume all the responsibilities that adults have.

 

When my train of thought reached this point, I looked up at the girls with the mad and impulsive idea (though not the intention) of sharing this story with them only to realise that they left the train in one of the previous stops. This in turn reminded me of the time I met a friend while shopping for shirts and underwear. He teased about it at the time you see and suggested that I should probably buy Y-fronts. I didn’t of course, however, a few days later when I was walking down some high street, he phoned me and we shared our usual banter. When I told him I was walking down the high street, he asked if I were buying more Y-fronts.

 

“Bax warya, you jinxed the boxer shorts I bought last time” said I at the top of my voice “they gave me a wedgie” (all of this was said in Somali) when this jilbaab wearing Somali woman happened to walk past and gave me the most disgusted look ever at my use of the word “bottom” in Somali.

 

This teenage-like action brings me back to the topic of this thread; coming of age and rites of passage for Somali men, does such a thing exist? When did you realise you were a grown up?

 

p.s.

Haatu need not reply just yet.

[Che -Guevara]

I thought you were gonna different route..

[chubacka]

hehe, *imagining the girls' faces if Ng had shared his Yemeni coming of age ritual. I can't help feeling for the future wife in all this madness, where is she suppose to look?

 

There was this guy pushing 50 in the paper the other day, complaining that he felt "ageless" that his father had felt grown up at 22, with a wife, kids and a mortage to work off. This guy had 2 small kids, a rented flat and was saying he still did not feel like an adult. It was quite ironic that he looked like an old man.

[Haatu]

NGONGE;915981 wrote:

The topic of discussion today is

RAGIIDA!

 

 

p.s.

Haatu need not reply just yet.

You wound me, sir

 

However, I bet when your manhood was cut it was done in a hospital with anesthetic and all the wussy stuff

[nuune]

And here I thought Ragiida was actually a lady, and wanted to know in la qabo iyo in kale, until I found out Radiida is indeed Rageeda, waad na luggoysey

[Abu-Salman]

Are you not pudic in public sxb? I always get disgusted when talks of human waste, genitals, fluids etc are done matter-of-factly instead of allusions or with a need, for scientific accuracy etc. Of course, between friends anything goes and it's ok once in a while if specific, but some even discuss colors when talking about those things, which is extremely off-putting (lack of civility).

 

Back to coming of age, I always subscribed to the Islamic clear cut watershed, thus for me I was adult by circa 13 or 12 if more accurate (learnt not long ago that it is actually pubic hair that determines it).

Disturbing it was, since for a start your bad/good deeds are counted as well as salat/sawm became compulsory (always heard "dambigaaga la qorayaa at 15"); it was also so because it signified innocence has drawn to an end.

No more innocent pranks/jokes about adult things or endless sega megadrive without shame or accountability, loss of innocent playfulness was quite depressing at beginning and lingering for a while as those things became less enjoyable (I used to be very fun and pranks loving).

 

For full adulthood, I deem marriage and the responsibility it entails as a key defining moment in general; then again, things depend on each individual case and a mature character is even more crucial instead of milestones.

Seeing people settling makes me realise I may be on a Peter Pan path, but this needs sorting out my priorities in life, belonging, place etc before tying the knot.

[nuune]

^^ Apophis, Ragiida, mistype by Ngonge to mean rageedi.

 

lool attachment, youu should know at this stage am not fond of any human ladies these days as I have my extraterrestrial girls, I wouldn't settle for any kind of nagging by the way, though Jinni girls got some peculiar features, have you read a story I wrote a while ago, I think I left it unfinished or maybe forgot to finish it as I was away with them for a long period.

 

Read it here, a Jinni girl and nuune in Istanbul

[Haatu]

If you keep going one of these days a jinn will possess you big time wa na ciyaadu billah

[nuune]

It is the other way around, I am the one who possess them, and I found that task easily as I have mastered their way of life, but not sharing with any humans.

[wyre]

i was surprised when JB started a thread with the name a dirty joke, and now here you shouted your lungs d.abo in front of a somali woman, imagine you shouting that loud between wadaado woman

[Waranle_Warrior]

Somalida, and I'm talking about the real Somalis and not the fish and chips in the west, they come of age at 12. Wiilku normally between the age of 12-16 years hadii laga arki waayo, karti, dadnimo, garasho iyo nin karameednimo waa la iska halmaamaa.

 

 

As the Somali adage goes:

 

wiil 12 jiray haduu lali ahaan waayo.

marti leyl u soo galay haduu luun ka bi'in waayo.

looyaanta dirireed haduu luufka kicin waayo.

raganimo luddiis kuma jirtee liicye bal ogaada

[Coofle]

I have realized I am grown-up when The boys in which I used to joke with and even play manytimes started calling me "Camuu" Adeer...That was a call .... I am not even dhalinyaro or ciyaala xaafad anymore ... once you go adeer you never go back.

 

The right of passage existed in Somali culture but in a different sense the Huthis of yemen. ... To get married in old somalia (western Somaliland especially) a man should have proved he is man enough to get a wife. I think it was called "kobor jabsi" I am not sure though. .. unfortunately it did not happen while in 18 years of age .. usually it was in mid or early 30s.

[N.O.R.F]

Interesting encounter and question Ngonge.

 

Kids back home grow up earlier than those in qurbaha. By the ages of 13/14 the boys are looking after the livestock or working or looking for work and the girls are looking after the house and cooking. Things may be changing slowly now but I think this is still the case in the majority. When I was 13 I was playing on the Sega Megadrive or playing football.

[Taleexi]

Taleexi is for sure suffering from Growingmamia (heavily loaded & freshly coined term). Btw, those Somali girls in the tube had a point because fsince Somali men's attraction to young females neither ceases to exist nor goes out of style therefore, as the other thread put it "Women are mad"

[NGONGE]

Coofle, you had to wait until someone called you adeer to know that you finally came of age?

 

Mine was when I was seventeen or eighteen and I told a group of ten year olds about something only for them to tell one of their mothers and point as me as they said "THAT MAN told us off". I actually had to look behind me to see where they were pointing only to realise that the man was ME!

 

p.s.

Norf, you still play both ninyaho. Yet you're beyond coming of age.