To My Loving Wife

[Abdinuur]

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a

long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter.

Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their

travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly

to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the

next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into

the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his

wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally

left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail

without realizing his error.

 

In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's

funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been

'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow

checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives

and friends. Upon reading the first message, she

fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed

into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw

the computer screen which read:

 

To: My Loving Wife

From: Your Departed Husband

Subject: I've Arrived!

I've just arrived and have checked in. I see that

everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is

as uneventful as mine was.

 

(P.S. Sure is hot down here!)

 

Shelly

[Abdinuur]

 

ANOTHER JOKE...

 

Three old men are discussing their sex lives.

 

The Italian man says, "Last week, my wife and I had great

sex. I rubbed her body all over with olive oil, we made

passionate love, and she screamed for 5 minutes at the end."

 

The Frenchman boasts, "Last week when my wife and I had

sex, I rubbed her body all over with butter. We then made

passionate love and she screamed for 15 minutes."

 

The old Jewish man says, "Well, last week my wife and

I had sex too. I rubbed her body all over with chicken

schmaltz (kosher chicken fat), we made love, and she

screamed for 6 hours."

 

The Italian and Frenchman were stunned. They replied,

"What could you have possibly done to make your wife

scream for 6 hours?"

 

"I wiped my hands on the drapes."