Situational Friendships Versus Transcendental Friendhiships

[QansaxMeygaag]

Guys I'd like to hear your views on modern friendships.

 

Life puts us in situations where we make many friends - I call this "situational friendships" e.g. you are in the same school, dugsi, neighborhood, shared accommodation as doobs, worked at the same place, etc. Somehow, they tend to fizzle out.

 

Are there trues friendships that transcend time and space - what I am calling "transcendental friendships".

 

Although I have made many many friends and still do, I can only count 2 people I can truly say fall in the second category.

 

Is something changing in our society? I admired how my father revered - yes revered - his friends. He'd literally order us when on a journey to "break you journey and make sure you pay your respects to my friend Sheikh Bashir in such and such a town".

 

Was that part of old-fashioned Somalinimo which we lost? What's happening to our society?

[Alpha Blondy]

can you provide some definitions please?

 

what is this 'Situational Friendships'' and ''Transcendental Friendhiships''

 

thx

 

Al.

[Wadani]

Qansax walaalo, U r lucky to have two true friends, because that's more than most people have. Like urself I have many situational friends, but only 2 people who I can consider to be like my brothers. Maybe ur right about things changing in our generation, because most relationships nowadays seem superificial and transient. That's exactly y I keep my energies focused on cultivating solid bonds with my family members, because I know those will be forever till death do us part (unlike most freindships and marriages nowadays).

[oba hiloowlow]

you can't trust people these days.. It's all about interest

[Reeyo]

I am concur with Oba. Trust is too precious to give away.

 

My friends have been the same since primary school. Everyone else just comes and goes.

[QansaxMeygaag]

Alpha Blondy;912765 wrote:

can you provide some definitions please?

 

what is this

'Situational Friendships''

and

''Transcendental Friendhiships''

 

thx

 

Al.

 

"situational"=you are forced by circumstances, say you share an accommodation with someone (split the rent for a couple of years as you hassle) and in the process you become friends, but when that arrangement ends, you hardly stay in touch. Or you work at the same place and when one of you quits the job, that's it, the friendship also ends there.

 

"transcendental"=true friends, circumstances change, but you are friends no matter what.

 

Does that help?

[QansaxMeygaag]

oba hiloowlow;912771 wrote:

you can't trust people these days.. It's all about interest

So it is all about "fair weather friendships"? When the good times are rolling (laissez les bons temps rouler), everyone is your friend; you lose your job, power, position as Guurguurte's closest adviser, whatever and they all run for the hills?

[QansaxMeygaag]

Wadani;912769 wrote:

Qansax walaalo, U r lucky to have two true friends, because that's more than most people have. Like urself I have many situational friends, but only 2 people who I can consider to be like my brothers. Maybe ur right about things changing in our generation, because most relationships nowadays seem superificial and transient. That's exactly y I keep my energies focused on cultivating solid bonds with my family members, because I know those will be forever till death do us part (unlike most freindships and marriages nowadays).

Won't focusing your energies internally to family close out possible friendships that might blossom into something magical? Maybe am just a hopeless romantic?

 

Besides, I've noticed family also don't always give you back your return on investments; I;ve had my fair share of investing in "family" and after all is done and dusted, it is "ciao, see you cousin, it's been nice knowing ya now that I've finished Uni thanks to your slaving away at odd hours paying my tuition".

[QansaxMeygaag]

Reeyo;912776 wrote:

I am concur with Oba. Trust is too precious to give away.

 

My friends have been the same since primary school. Everyone else just comes and goes.

So you have core friends and those who - for lack of better words - pass by your deegaan with their camel caravans for watering and a place to crush for the night and it is bye in the morning?

[Reeyo]

Haha ^. You're as weird as Alpha but I like you. Yes that is exactly it.

[Wadani]

Ur right Qansax, it's a risk either way. But here's the difference, you won't suffer from the same pangs of regret for investing in a family member who does u wrong as u would a so called friend. If u waste time or money on a family member and u recieve nuthing in return, u can rationalize it by telling urself u did it cuz it was fams.....but wat will u tell urself when a friendship u put a lot into goes awry through no fault of ur own?

[QansaxMeygaag]

Reeyo;912799 wrote:

Haha ^. You're as weird as Alpha but I like you. Yes that is exactly it.

Thanks . Maybe Alpha and I just speak from the heart...

[Alpha Blondy]

^

 

Q: what are the chances of two hearts beating at the exact same time?

 

A: very likely.

 

Reeyo;912799 wrote:

Haha ^. You're as weird as Alpha but I like you. Yes that is exactly it.

can we infer from the above, you also like me? you don't have to answer Reeyo.....

[QansaxMeygaag]

Wadani;912801 wrote:

Ur right Qansax, it's a risk either way. But here's the difference, you won't suffer from the same pangs of regret for investing in a family member who does u wrong as u would a so called friend. If u waste time or money on a family member and u recieve nuthing in return, u can rationalize it by telling urself u did it cuz it was fams.....but wat will u tell urself when a friendship u put a lot into goes awry through no fault of ur own?

Isn't the hurt even worse with family, almost like the Shakespearean "et tu Brutus"? An "even you"? "I can't believe it" moment? Me thinks the knife goes deeper with family...

[QansaxMeygaag]

Alpha Blondy;912807 wrote:

^

 

Q: what are the chances of two hearts beating at the exact same time?

 

A: very likely.

 

 

 

can we infer from the above, you also like me? you don't have to answer Reeyo.....

C'mon man; don't be coy, you know we like Reeyo back