Baby Photographer (Adults Only) lol

[Ashkira]

The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a

surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was

to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man

should be here soon".

 

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer

rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

 

"Good morning madam. I've come to......"

 

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut

in.

 

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a

specialty of babies."

 

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a

seat.

 

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

 

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on

the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living

room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"

 

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and

me."

 

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.

But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or

seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

 

"My, my, that's a lot of ..." gasped Mrs. Smith.

 

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be

in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm

sure."

 

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly. The photographer opened

his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.

 

"This was done on the top of a bus."

 

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

 

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well,when you consider

their mother was so difficult to work with."

 

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

 

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get

the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep,

pushing to get a good look."

 

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

 

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too.

The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly

concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots.

Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just

packed it all in."

 

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your

um...equipment ?"

 

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so

that we can get to work."

 

"Tripod??

 

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too

big for me to hold very long. Madam? Madam?.....Good Lord,

she's fainted!!

 

[Naz]

Miscommunicatin Eh' , loooooooool.

 

 

That was a good one