Need your sincere advice (god will reward you)

[OdeyJacfar]

I'm concerned! I have been talking to this girl for the past 8 months. Our agreed intention was to b engaged this month. Two month ago, for the first time I spoken to her mother(her mom raised her). Her mom said that this girl is the youngest of all her daughters and she is 19yrs old and she hoped she finishes school first. I told her that I am fine with her finishing school as llong as she is living under my roof. She said "eedo, guurku wax ciyar ciyaara maaha, baryahan dambe niman baa habla iska guursada kadibna reerkeedii ku soo celiya ayadoo laba laga soo tuuray".

 

Long story short, her mother went on a background check on me. She all of a sudden got her interest peeked. She told her daughter that she made the right choice and she proud of her. Hase ahaatee, her mom insists that her daughter finishes half way her uni. When my fam spoke to the mother she said "I'm not against them, I am happy for them, but I want them to marry summer 2014. I also think there should b no meher in the meantime bc I aint gona like my daughter to b at home pregnant, hal goor ha igga kaxeysto qura".

 

Once I heard this I gave my babygirl an altimatum. That I can only wait for her for 3 more months otherwise a man gota do what a man must do. She begeed and begged and cried. She saying that I should compromise, that we should do it next december. After a long hibernation on the thought I accepted that date. I reckoned that this gives me more time to work harder and save more money and actually buy stuff on a layaway type of procedure.

 

Have I made the right choice? I mean my hairline is receding like the Namibian desert. Bidaar baa weerar igu soo heysa. Plus I got numbers on this girl (I did my thing and she hooked to me now, some chick I use to date from back in the days even tried to tell her that I'm just too old for her but still babygirl believes in me)

[Alpha Blondy]

love will conquer all. do you love your girl? can you envisage her raising your kids properly and building a future with her? if NO then get rid of her. if YES be patient and work to build a solid family.

 

your babygirl.....does she have a good history! have you done your background research? a full MOT check maybe necessary! if YES then be patient, if NO then get rid of her quick. her mum doesn't seem very nice and she'll probably continue to advice your babes!

 

my advice...... ultimately, you hold the cards and your decision will determine how far this mashruuc will go! do you think you have what it takes! go along with your plans and inshallah kheyr it'll be fine. if you don't try it, then you'll never know, and will regret it later on. go for it! odey-jacfer....you can do it! trust your instincts brovs!

[Aaliyyah]

lol I have the tendency to give an advice even when I am not asked. So I definitely would want to advice someone igu ducaynaya nasixaa.

HOnestly though you made the right decision by compromising.

 

P.s bidaartan walee inbadan oo niga mida dhibtey lets hope you got some hair by next december. Just kidding.

[OdeyJacfar]

Aaliyyah;901859 wrote:

lol I have the tendency to give an advice even when I am not asked. So I definitely would want to advice someone igu ducaynaya nasixaa.

HOnestly though you made the right decision by compromising.

 

P.s bidaartan walee inbadan oo niga mida dhibtey lets hope you got some hair by next december. Just kidding.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL...lewd u sound just like my sister bc we kid around just like normal siblings do and she was like " let's hope ur hairline don't recede further" she said been sarcastic. However, let me assure u that I aint scurrreddd bc I have couple of backups that want wth hair or no hair bc they know me pretty close. And alhamdulilah I never had any defenciency with females, ayagaan ba qaati ka joogaa..

 

 

@Apo...Bro this girl's background is legit. Her family is legit. Her dad is a high official in the Somali gov that if I disclose this info u would b like "man, how da hell you got to her, how did u maneauvre through the layers and layers of security that surrounds her" and I wouldve just told u "dude, I was just somewhere with my homeboys, she was with her homegirl, I approached her like I approach other females and one thing let to another and boom shalakalaka she addicted to me". Of course a month into the relationship is when I found out she from a high society. Laakinse maanan baqin and I told her "waxna iga ma galin, xataa haduu ku dhalay Obama"..why I said that? Bc u never share ur true feelings with a female, it can b used against u sxb, that's rule nimber one..btw I love her too, cause she good to me and been there for me

[5]

The mother is being unreasonable. On the other hand I fully understand her; 19 is young. Too young these days in the Western world. But asking a young couple to wait for 1,5 years is slightly risky. If I were a mother I would never encourage my children to date - especially after they are in love and comfortable enough to marry each other. Adoonyo laga daba cararaayo one is unintentionally opening the door to zina and temptation.

 

So my advice? Keep working, time flies, dec '13 will be here soon enough iA.

[Alpha Blondy]

5;901862 wrote:

The mother is being unreasonable. On the other hand I fully understand her; 19 is young. Too young these days in the Western world. But asking a young couple to wait for 1,5 years is slightly risky. If I were a mother I would never encourage my children to date - especially after they are in love and comfortable enough to marry each other. Adoonyo laga daba cararaayo one is unintentionally opening the door to zina and temptation.

 

So my advice? Keep working, time flies, dec '13 will be here soon enough iA.

i know what you mean... patience is virtue. and my waiting for you has kept me steadfast for the best part of 5 years. i will wait forever for you....my love!

[Alpha Blondy]

OdeyJacfar;901861 wrote:

 

@Apo...Bro this girl's background is legit. Her family is legit. Her dad is a high official in the Somali gov that if I disclose this info u would b like "man, how da hell you got to her, how did u maneauvre through the layers and layers of security that surrounds her" and I wouldve just told u "dude, I was just somewhere with my homeboys, she was with her homegirl, I approached her like I approach other females and one thing let to another and boom shalakalaka she addicted to me". Of course a month into the relationship is when I found out she from a high society. Laakinse maanan baqin and I told her "waxna iga ma galin, xataa haduu ku dhalay Obama"..why I said that? Bc u never share ur true feelings with a female, it can b used against u sxb, that's rule nimber one..btw I love her too, cause she good to me and been there for me

i hear you odey.

 

sounds like you really like her. she sounds like a keeper. keep her close because the last time i was in love, i got burnt. man those high society folk sure now the value of love. layla, the only woman i truly loved and care for, is now married with a kid. i've never felt that weird sensation....since. every chick is judged against layla. she was smart, had a GOSH and know me very well. she made me laugh a lot but was also the only chick who made me cry. it was back in 2009 and we'd be dating for just over 11 months when i told her one rainy night in London that i couldn't give her what she wanted.......she wanted to get married, you see. i was a mere student, broke and dejected by circumstance. 6 months later, i tried to rekindle things but she'd moved on. at the time, i didn't understand why she was no longer feeling me but time heals and i now know why.....she was looking for calaf and i didn't know the meaning of such intimate fallacies, then. she's now married and walahi i still think about her all the time........

 

(in tears).........odey, if you find the one, make sure you hold her tight, so very tight until you press against her ribs and let all your inner feelings revealed themselves to her....because, otherwise, you'll forever ask yourself why? the why is why i came to somaliland and why i cannot love again. she's taken the best part of me and i worry, sometimes, i've become emotional dead, because she's taken it all from me....my love, my feelings, my life. i will forever be enslaved by the regret, the boyish can-do-attitude of yesteryears, and the second guessing of her true intentions towards me....she opened her life to me and i carelessly didn't reciprocate...as they say laakin....life goes on but what is left of my life without her....?

[OdeyJacfar]

Alpha Blondy;901864 wrote:

i hear you odey.

 

sounds like you really like her. she sounds like a keeper. keep her close because the last time i was in love, i got burnt. man those high society folk sure now the value of love. layla, the only woman i truly loved and care for, is now married with a kid. i've never felt that weird sensation....since. every chick is judged against layla. she was smart, had a GOSH and know me very well. she made me laugh a lot but was also the only chick who made me cry. it was back in 2009 and we'd be dating for just over 11 months when i told her one rainy night in London that i couldn't give her what she wanted.......she wanted to get married, you see. i was a mere student, broke and dejected by circumstance. 6 months later, i tried to rekindle things but she'd moved on. at the time, i didn't understand why she was no longer feeling me but time heals and i now know why.....she was looking for calaf and i didn't know the meaning of such intimate fallacies, then. she's now married and walahi i still think about her all the time........

 

(in tears).........odey, if you find the one, make sure you hold her tight, so very tight until you press against her ribs and let all your inner feelings revealed themselves to her....because, otherwise, you'll forever ask yourself why?

the why

is why i came to somaliland and why i cannot love again. she's taken the best part of me and i worry, sometimes, i've become emotional dead, because she's taken it all from me....my love, my feelings, my life. i will forever be enslaved by the regret, the boyish can-do-attitude of yesteryears, and the second guessing of her true intentions towards me....she opened her life to me and i carelessly didn't reciprocate...as they say laakin....life goes on but what is left of my life without her....?

sxb, I also suffered the same situaiton as you;ve had. Although you can make few changes here and there of your story to fit mine. I married the love of my life. Before the momentous day we were an item for about 3 years. We were married just 2 years before we terrifically nd miserably broke off. I dont no woman will ever make me laugh as how she use to make me laugh. She knew the inside jokes, the imitation of my character. She loved me way too much. She was a good stability in my life and she changed me in a profound way. Lastly, she was the rock of my life to an infinite degree.

 

Then circumstanes beyond our control(maybe of our control) swept us away to the big ocean. Before I knew it we took sides. I saw betrayal in her and I couldnt forgive. She begged and begged me but I stood my ground. I ended up divorcing her.

 

Fast forward to today. She has gone married. It does not bother me at all.The way I view it is that this dude is gona be dealing with the same stuff I come to learn, nothing of a big deal, its a left over. Now im with a female that I believe will be the hidden card that I pulled out on the fams. She has a lot of advantages over the ex. I certainly will have the last laugh inshalah.

[Nin-Yaaban]

Waxba ha sugin, ee iska guurso nin yahow.

[OdeyJacfar]

Nin-Yaaban;901869 wrote:

Waxba ha sugin, ee iska guurso nin yahow.

maxaan ku sameeyaa hooyadeed...suaashaa ka jawaab

[Coofle]

A good mother-in-law is a dead mother-in-law....intimidate the mother by telling her you will call off the wedding, may be through the daughter, No good mother will ever destroy her daughters marriage for her own enjoyment, if she does than that mother in law is not some one you want to be related to....Habar habar loo waayay waa balee, its obvious you don't have a mother or she is an angel ...

 

at the end of the day its all about love.......

Some may not believe it, but the pursuit of love can be long and treacherous, I always give myself the excuse that I have met the love of my love in an unfortanate times, but its up to me to make it fortunate.....

Naftaada la faq, if you love too much, then wait till december I assure you If she loves you she will take you with your bidaar....

Anagu waxna iima dhawa and I can't look at my own shadow any more coz the bidaar have done its part well on my head....

[Reeyo]

19....So young? yet the the fitnah of a year waiting? Hard decision. Fitnah. Try and approach the mother again and ensure her you will make sure she finishes school and you'll try your best to do family planning.

[OdeyJacfar]

Odey Jacfar ""‎​Look..I ask one favor from u..in any moment, from now till that december date, if u wanna opt out of this let me know..just never mislead me..and I will b perfectly fine with it"

 

My girl " My baby my love my husband why would I ever mislead u:( ma ilaha hoyada baan waax u diri laha would I bother talking to ur sisters would I bother fighting for u nd telling my mom about u nd u speaking to her"

[Nin-Yaaban]

OdeyJacfar;901875 wrote:

maxaan ku sameeyaa hooyadeed...suaashaa ka jawaab

19yr old, weli hooyo amar ka qaadaneyso?

[The_Deeper]

Geel soddon qaday, saddex cisho kuma dari waayo, I would say do some istikhra and wait...Insha allah its gonna be alright.