STOIC Posted December 15, 2012 ^^It is hard to tell whether your son will turn out to be a neurosurgeon or trash-hauler, but all you can do is just keep praying and give them the best support. Your kids just need to understand that nothing is fun until they are good at it. They need to understand from parents that to get good at anything they have to work hard .This often requires fortitude on the part of the parent too and keep up with their progress. I’m guessing with a stable family and a little prayer they will be fine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted December 15, 2012 Masha'allah and kudos to your father! for his effort, for his belief in your ability and mostly for enabling you to access what he couldn't himself - education. A&T, its true one can never appreciate the sacrifices ones parents had to endure in order for their children to have access to either education or shelter/food etc etc. I was and am a pleaser sort of a child to my parents, so I knew that by doing well - it pleased my mother especially, so my mission in life became, a journey to please her. Now, I am a mother, I too had made sacrifices that will enable my child to walk the paths I couldn't - even though sometimes, I feel its too much of a burden on her. As I expect nothing less of perfection..lol Stoic - indeed. Prayers, prayers....I am a firm believer of that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted December 15, 2012 Alpha Blondy;899395 wrote: AT and Stoic, for many people including yourselves and me, our parents made sacrifices and against all odds too. True indeed. But for each of us who became somebody who can live a decent life because of the sacrifices of the parents who did all they can, there are two or more others who are in miserable situation because their parents did not do the minimum they could do. Far more important than comparing us - the ones who were lucky - with our parents is to empathize with the unlucky ones and to try to help future kids to help themselves. Malika - one day your daughter could write a memoir and forgive your unbearable demands as a perfectionist. Masha Allah! Believe and keep the good work. I live for my kids. I support my families but I always felt I have been too much of a good father than a good son to those who raised me. The older brother is the one who is always by the side of mom and dad and never complains. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
STOIC Posted December 15, 2012 Abtigis, watch this clip of Prof. Bulhan how is started his first grade class in JigJiga when he was a young orphan kid...I thought this was a fascinating story of Somalis and tolka encouragement of each other going to School... http://somalilandpress.com/video-university-of-hargeisa-chancellor-interviewed-11012 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted December 15, 2012 Wow! Stoic, mine was a cake walk compared to this. Goodness gracious! Edit- sorry the date at the back of the worn-out picture of Mohamud Cadde is written in Ethiopian calendar. I made an error in calculating the corresponding year in Gregorian calendar. The year is 1985 and the boy is 12. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Malika Posted December 15, 2012 ^Lol..says the man that hangs around parks on Thursdays, forgetting he had an interview...lol[jk] manning KFC iyo Mcdonald maa xuma hee, if only they dont take their nacnac to hoyo iyo abo...one should hide their failures from dedicated parents me thinks!..lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted December 15, 2012 Those who work in the KFCs did not fail just like those who are playing Rugby or those rehearsing for American or Indian Idol. Perhaps their comparative advantage lies in what they are doing. The role of the parents is not to curve a surgeon or astronaut out of us. It is to provide us with material and moral support to the best of their ability. The rest is luck and choices we make. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted December 15, 2012 It is not a guilt. It is a privilege. Anyway you are still at fire age. So we shall grant you some more years to see if you still think the same way. At your age, I did not know what I know today but the resolve was there to pay my parents back when I grow up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Johnny B Posted December 15, 2012 As for the topic, the picture of that kid overtakes the father's doing by guess and gosh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted December 15, 2012 Apophis;899435 wrote: Yap, that's called internalised guilt. I freed myself of it in my late teens and freedom feels like magic. War odayaashi hore waxay odhan jireen wiil yar oo iswaala oo aan wiil da'diisa ah oo garaaca loo hayn waa ibtilee, away kuraydii cagdheerta ee meesha joogtay,... maxay ka yar iigu daawanayaan?? kii xumaa ee The Zack ah away?! Mise kuwaa hadii la waayo kuwii Khaatumo ee Abdi_Khader ku jiray baa dad iigu xiga oo aan u dacwooda? JohnnyB - I agree the picture is a distraction but it is what reminded me of this story. Never thought I will find it, nor knew about its existence, but once I received, it invoked memories...And I have a propensity for engaging in maudlin sentimentalism when memories hit me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted December 15, 2012 You have done enough damage. It is too late. You will not be left alone. But seriously, are you serious about your positions on parents?! Or just pulling our leg? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taleexi Posted December 15, 2012 Beneficial narrative indeed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted December 15, 2012 And where have you seen parents who say those words with the purpose of getting favors from their children?? Do they not always, always, always think of our welfare even when they talk to us like that?? Is their message not one which says be a better person, we raised you so that you can become a better person? Of course, Xinn is always right. I have the uncanny habit of wasting ink on trivial things and with trivial people. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Waranle_Warrior Posted December 15, 2012 A great story but is it about the boy who's had to embark on a journey full of hope, future to conquer and boxes tick, or is it about the father who's testimony to every parents ideal target for their offspring, is it about the education/learning, is it about the Somali adage of 'Nimaad dhashay kuma dhalin' lamentation, is it about politics or perhaps about everything. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites