Caluusha I Socota!

[NGONGE]

Me: "Caluusha i socota" .

 

Him: "Dhaktar o tag"

 

Me: "I went to my local GP and he gave me some medicine"

 

Him: "Did it work?"

 

Me: "No!"

 

Him: "My cousin had a similar problem. He suffered from piles and none of the doctors in London could help him so he went to Germany and now he doesn't have piles anymore. Go to Germany ninyaho"

 

Me: "War it's probably nothing"

 

Him: " Don't say that. All Somalis say that; what if you have calool cancer?"

 

Me: "It's probably some food I had"

 

Him: "Go to Germany, saaxib. Listen to me"

 

Me: " War I'm fine now. The pain is gone"

 

Him: "waad madax adagtahay. Sixaado ciyaar mahaa"

 

Me: "I know, but I'm fine now"

 

Him: "If you don't want to go to Germany; why don't you go to that French Clinic in Harley Street?"

 

Me: "What French Clinic?"

 

Him: "Ileen waxba lama socotid! War all the Somalis go there. Waxa la yedhi it's really good"

 

Me: "Waxa la yedhi Germany is good too"

 

Him: "Haa. Lakin Germany is too far. This one is in London and the doctor there even has a Somali nurse"

 

Me: "Just because he has a Somali nurse does not make him a good doctor"

 

Him: "I don't know about that. But, waxa la yedhi, that a woman with a brain tumor, weak heart and bladder problem went to visit him recently and he cured her from all her ailments"

 

Me: "Did he operate on her?"

 

Him: "No. He doesn't operate. He just gives medicine. FRENCH medicine"

 

Me: "What's the difference between that and the medicine that normal hosptials give?"

 

Him: "Normal hospital naga daa ninyaho. Waa cunsurayeen"

 

Me: "I never had problems with them in the past"

 

Him: "Have you not noticed how every pregnant Somali woman that goes to a normal hospital is always offered to have a c section? They don't want us to have lots of children ninyaho. They hate us"

 

Me: "Kanba waa gaal dee"

 

Him: "but he has a SOMALI nurse"

 

Me: "But normal hospitals are FREE"

 

Him: "Free to kill us"

 

Me: " Stop being paranoid. They do as good a job as any other place"

 

Him: "It's up to you lakin anigu waxaan ku odhan laha, dadkaaga dhinac ka raac"

 

Me: " But you're all CRAZY!"

 

Him: "How can we be crazy when we all agree and you are the only one that is different?"

 

Me: "That does not stop you from being crazy dee"

 

Him: "You need to visit Abu Haneefa"

 

Me: "Not the Eritrean guy again!"

 

Him: "What's your problem with him? He's a good wadaad you know"

 

Me: " I have no problem with him. I have a problem with those that visit him"

 

Him: "War waa nin fiican. He expelled three jinnis from my eedo"

 

Me: "How did he do it?"

 

Him: "Dee he did what wadaads do, he read quran on her"

 

Me: "Could you not read quran on her yourself?"

 

Him: "Oo anigu ma wadaad ban ahay?"

 

Me: "Hada ma caasi baad tahay?"

 

Him: " No. But wadaadnimado waa celmi dhan dee. This guy knows how to deal with Jinn and the evil eye"

 

Me: "But Is he the only wadaad in town that can do that?"

 

Him: "There are a couple of Somali wadaads that do it but they're not as good as him"

 

Me: "Kuwaa ma quraanka ku yar?"

 

Him: "Maya! But they don't have the expereince or the results"

 

Me: "Nagada ninyaho. I will read quran on myself, if I need to"

 

Him: "Do you really know how to read quran on yourself?"

 

Me: "I can read quran and know the aayahs you need to use when doing ruqya"

 

Him: "Oo maxaad ii sheegi wayday ninyaho?"

 

Me: "What? That I can read the quran? Can't you read it yoruself?"

 

Him: "Ma ka caadiga mise ka jinnka lagu saaro? War anigu kii caadigaan aqaana"

 

Me: "Quraan is quraan saaaxib"

 

Him: "You are very strange ninyaho. Listen to me and lets go to Abu Haneefa"

 

Me: "Will that be after we come back from Germany or before we go to the French Clinic?"

 

Him: "Sida ciyaalkaad o hadlaysa"

 

Me: "Hada ma adiga wax macqool ku hadlaya?"

 

Him: "I already told you, All Somalis talk in this way except YOU. Everyone can't be crazy and you're the only sane person"

 

Me: "But everyone keeps going to Germany, French Clinics and have some wadaad reading quran on them. They, by their own admission, are not normal. Wax fahan"

 

Him: "Carab baad tahay. Waliga Somalida ma fahmaysid!"

 

 

 

(Naga daayaa).

[Jacaylbaro]

.... maad isaga quraan ku akhridid

[Malika]

Hahaha@ Go to German or Abu Hanifa uu tag..lol. Illahi dadkeeni noo daa! They are soo universal, no room for individuality. To go to German has been a trend for a few years now - ama going to private hospitals..dadku lacag badana!

[wyre]

lol@...good read sxb,

this german thing ninyahow somalida dhan waa wax ey isla qabaan show, i was think it's an excuse to run away from saudi arabia marki hore

 

this guy always says, german baa daawo fiican laga helaa inaan aado weeye

[Salahudin]

Lol@caluusha...r u say wallahi generation bro...am assuming calool xanuun ayad heesata lol

[Juxa]

Allaha ku caafiyo..........

 

there is no french clinic in harley street but a french doctor with boxy office.

 

ps: i have long list of harley street specialist,,,happy to give you some names

ps hadana s: they are not as expensive as people think:)

[SayidSomal]

NGONGE;896537 wrote:

Me: "Caluusha i socota" .

 

Him: "Dhaktar o tag"

 

'Caluusha' waxay tahayba, koloy way socotaaye - 'dhaktar' iyadu ha u tagto.

[Gheelle.T]

Ng, is this the same guy you argued with other day about the "shoe" thing? Soomalida halkan joogta qaar waa sidaas. They go Germany and they would be told the same diagnosis, what a waste of money.

[NGONGE]

^^ I wish it were the same guy. War they're all (Sayid) Somal.

[SayidSomal]

^^ - you wish - at least with me your convos would be very short.

[NGONGE]

^^ Adigu you'll probably wax layrical about the wadaado on Universal TV (another pet hate of mine).

[OdaySomali]

NGONGE;896537 wrote:

Him: "Have you not noticed how every pregnant Somali woman that goes to a normal hospital is always offered to have a c section? They don't want us to have lots of children ninyaho. They hate us"

Apparently "hospitals get more money if they do a C section". But it also probably has to do with birh complications and midwifes' unfamiliarity with FGM cases.

[OdaySomali]

NGONGE;896595 wrote:

^^ Adigu you'll probably wax layrical about the wadaado on Universal TV (another pet hate of mine).

Walahi I was about mention the TV wadaado (Universal TV, Peace TV). Weli ma lagu yidhi "la hadal Shiikhu ha kuu duceeyee". Aniguba maan ducaysto Ilaahay ma isguu iiga dhego nugul yahay lol.

[Wadani]

Ngonge for such an intelligent guy ur Somali writing sucks. I'm sure it wouldn't take u more than a few days to learn how to perfectly spell Somali words.

[Maaddeey]

Lool, classic. Sheekooyinkaan ha ka caajisin yaa saaxibee!.