A life wasted: regrets of a comic and an asymptote

[Abtigiis]

People say I have missed my calling and should have gone into comedy...but there is nothing funnier than my engagements with women. Many of the surreptitious gender say I get along with them quite effortlessly. To be honest, it was Sally -the Zimbo- who said that. And Ardo, who wasn't clear but suggested that she finds talking to me easy.

 

The big question has always been why my easy access to woman hasn't translated into something more meaningful - i mean into bedding them. If making their mouth giggle hasn't demanded a profuse of sweat, why has rifting their thighs apart been such an uphill task for me?

 

It can't be the balding head, the creases and contours of the facial skin - the result of an exacting age. I mean, today I can blame these and many other weaknesses, including the mismatch between my dating provenance and the skills modernity demands to succeed in this furtive industry.

 

But if age explains my present failures, what can possibly elucidate my misfortunes at young age, when I looked much better? Quite noticeable in this distressing question is a deep sense of inner inadequacy, of corporeal deprivation, and psychological trauma, all a result of a life lived as a comedy above the navel, a tragedy below the belt.

 

What compelled me to tell this story is the sheer heart-break I feel every time a man of my age narrates to me how many beauties he slept with or - even more infuriatingly- he rejected.

 

Where are these beauties men seem to change like socks? Why can't I see them? Are they the same ones who weep with my jokes but somehow think the tools of jokers must also be a joke?? ...

 

Ok. Why can't I, for once - just to tell my exploits to posterity- reject one girl? Just one! If the girls used to circle my table in the school lounge to 'enjoy' nice talk, why hadn't one volunteered to check the walk or more aptly the sleep? I can never find an answer to this enigma.

 

Worse, i have seen men who talk about Sam Allardyce and Manchester United to women and still manage to rub their head on these women's bosom. I have seen some who talk about their shirts and still pinch their girls - in some cases mature women who you think aren't impressionable upstarts- firmly at the booty. And you wonder, why always other men? What is wrong with me?!

 

I mean if I die now, knowing only two pairs of breasts - the one that i suckled as a child and the one my daughter suckles now- will the verse "kuli nafsi daa'iqati mot" ( every soul witnesses death) really accurately reflect my demise? The verse implies "life lived" when it says "every soul", but when has mine lived when it lived deprived and disenfranchised all along?

 

How can a half-a-century of life lived as an asymptote - as in Algebraic geometry - like a line tangent to women's blissful wound infinitely but never touching it, be mourned as a loss when it stops breathing?

 

It is too late but I now know all my comedy throughout these years has been an instantiation of Shakespearean much ado about nothing!

 

What a waste!

[Alpha Blondy]

AT,

 

if you measure your life by the validation of women then you are truly lost.

[Bluelicious]

Perhaps some of them thought you were too good to be true and married. There is more to life then only women.

[Abtigiis]

Nonsense!!!@Alpha.

 

A man's life is nothing without an array of women! you have to be deprived to know this!!!!

 

At young age, we fell for the folly that if you chase girls, you lose in exams and class tests! We listened to the cruel advice of calculating parents who told us to keep away from the opposite sex, lest we get lost and they lose their investment in us! We run after meaningless alphabets boasting ' I got A' ...'I got A+" as if these really mean life!

 

After college, we run after career and money, thinking they will give us happiness! ...and worse, we got children and started to live for them... Not for ourselves! ... And here we are...old and unwanted, we beguile beauties with our eyes and at times our keyboards, finding that what we thought was a comic life was in fact a nothing! Hollow gust! ...and retirement is beckoning!

[STOIC]

You still got twenty five or so more years to pursue them busty and lusty women you seem to preoccupy yourself with...just that maybe by then the pendulum you want to swing maybe saggy than the one your daughter is sucking now.

[Bluelicious]

^^ He wants young ladies not ladies of his age.

[Abtigiis]

No, Blue. Anything goes. Of course not grannies.

 

:D @stoic!!

[Juxa]

Horta maxaa nogu dheeshaa?

A writer should respect his readers. Jukaatalo ka dhigatay dadka! How can one identify with or even show shred of naxariis to sheko baraleey

 

Either qor fiction or qor runta.... Meel uun raac

 

Ps: my previous talo of iimaanka allaha noo sugo still stands

[Abtigiis]

Looooooool@juxa!!!!! Yaa imaan la'. I am just saying what Ayoub and xinnfanin think but can't say loud.

 

This one is not a fiction, juxa.

[Bluelicious]

Abtigiis;895012 wrote:

No, Blue. Anything goes. Of course not grannies.

 

:D

@stoic!!

Abtigiis I meant women of your age and not grannies. Apologies if you thought I implied that. Was only informing STOIC that you prefer younger ladies over the women who are in your age group.

[AYOUB]

The difference between us is; I accept my fate, with a bit help from SOL's shrinks.

[N.O.R.F]

Next time you're in Hargaisa or Dubay I hope we meet. Shuyuukh baan kuu geeni.

[Abwaan]

Abtigiis;895012 wrote:

No, Blue. Anything goes. Of course not grannies.

 

:D

@stoic!!

shimbirba shimbirkiisuu la duulaa ma maqashay? Grannies are there for grandpas.

[Abwaan]

N.O.R.F;895021 wrote:

Next time you're in Hargaisa or Dubay I hope we meet. Shuyuukh baan kuu geeni.

Ma shuyuukh quraan saara? Mise kuwii dalka xukumey? If that is the case waa iyagoo islaamo ah baan u qaatay.

[wyre]

sometimes i feel like inaan kuu heeso heesti eheyd

gacal iyo xigaaladayow gabar hala ii doono,

geela bixiya yarada dhiiba gabar hala ii doono