The Phases of FOB's

[OdaySomali]

I thought this was an interesting read. Most of the descriptions of FOB phases are quite accurate. :eek:

 

Phase 1: The Optimistic Pessimist

 

Fully frustrated with the situation at home, and mesmerized by the promise of an automatically better life in the west, the Optimistic Pessimist is a perplexing FOB. The OP is usually still in their home country and preparing, by all means, to get the **** out. Because their home country is, among all things, frustrating, that have created a paradox in their mind where everything evil in humanity that frustrates them is in one bucket, and everything wonderful in life is in another. The first bucket includes their home country, the second bucket includes any and every other country. These tokens are liquid in nature and stew together to the point that home country = bad = rape = robbery = poverty = crime =poverty = erectile dysfunction = being a loser = balding = weight gain = hell. and target country is another monolithic stew linking all good things in life. When speaking to these FOBs it's impossible to get a reality based assessment of anything, and they seldom have a strategy for success once they get to the target country because getting there is success enough.

 

Phase 2: The Fascinated Optimist

 

The fascinated Optimist is the one we typically call "the FOB". It should be noted that this is simply a phase in the FOB journey. The fascinated optimist, now in heaven, must rapidly, and forcefully rid himself of his hellish home grown nature. The deep fascination with the new world they find themselves in is often overwhelming, and in a dash to rapidly become a part of the new human shangri la the fascinated optimist is a creature on a mission. The fascinated optimist is highly likely to become

1. A Pervert: Believing that having sex with women = good =america, the fascinated optimist developed a feverish fixation with all the rancid stray *** the west has to offer. The fascinated optimist typically dwells in the dark corners of clubs and is a nocturnal hunger who uses his glowing yellow eyeballs to provide light when staring at woman's sexual parts. This reckless obsession with sex makes the fascinated optimist an avid hunter, a lover of 'fly undersized designer gear', and a general 'creep' that will degrade the standing of the men from their country in the eyes of the local women

 

2. A hypocrite: A supplement to their obsession with sex and free to perv at a mind blowing velocity, the Fascinated Optimist believes every other man is as much of a hedonist pervert as he is, and suddenly the women he cares about become victims of a sex dungeon he calls 'culture'. The culture he teaches his daughters, girlfriend etc if they're from his home country is simple: DON'T BE A SLUT. With slut meaning talking to men. Outside of sex they usually teach their children that their culture is simple: BE A LAWYER, BE A DOCTOR, YOU'RE WORTHLESS IF YOU DON'T MAKE MONEY. Most of their children born in diaspora understand their culture to be: DONT HAVE SEX, MAKE MONEY. It should be noted that the FO's parents, seldom, and most importantly, never, put any pressure on them to make money. In fact the fixation with material wealth is born by the fact that the frustration of the original OP the FO evolved from comes from the fact that the OP themselves are vein, greedy, materialistic, megalomaniac, narrow sighted people that are easily frustrated and highly prone to unreasonable levels of materialistic jealousy. The children in diaspora are often surprised when they go to their 'home country' and find that people are humble, simple and easy going as is the universal constant in the third world.

 

3. A Hater: Because the FO believes that America is 'for everyone' They begin to customize their 'place' in the American hierarchy. The FO is very....verrrryy prone to hating African Americans. This is simply because they see that they're at the bottom of the American totem-pole and believe that if they separate themselves by force from this group they won't occupy the same position. The FO in their feverish race to the top becomes hateful and jealous of many groups, most importantly those most like them because life is a competition. Nevertheless the groups least like them, typically white people, can do no wrong, because they wish to occupy the same position in the totem-pole as these people.

 

4. A Liar: As the realities of America begin to dawn, the FO still has a chip on their shoulder that can't be ignored. The FO believing that America and their country are lands where people are measured for and by materialism and status, becomes an avid liar. The FO will tell anyone anything they feel will make that person respect them. The fallacy in this thinking is that Americans aren't impressed by status, and Europeans even less concerned. Their country men born in the west know that buying expensive things is possible for anyone as long as your irresponsible and dumb, and their fellow FOs will only get jealous and hateful at their 'success'. FOs will lie about their origins, their income, their name, their living situation, their sexual encounters, their associates and affiliations, and they will speak in a fake and forced accent (to be addressed later). FOs fail to realize real westerners don't and won't care but it doesn't matter to the FO because the FO lives in a status obsessed materialistic delusional thought whirlpool that must be feed a steady stream of monkey-like prostrations and gimmicks

 

Note: The fake accent or 'dying down' of their original accent is the dead give away. For all FOs reading, this should be understood. IF YOU'RE IN A COUNTRY AFTER PUBERTY YOU WILL NEEVVEEERR LOSE YOUR ACCENT. NEEVVEEEEERR. ITS SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE AND AS MUCH AS YOU THINK YOU'RE SPEAKING 'LIKE US' YOU STILL DONT CANT AND WONT. You shouldn't. We don't care how you speak, only you do. Accents in the west will get you respect, *****, friends, adoration, and the attention you crave. No American or European has ever respected someone for sounding like them. You're the only person alive that cares.

 

Phase 3: The Late Bus Activist.

 

The Late Bus Activist is the final phase of fobbity. The FOB after realizing that geographic location has nothing to do with human happiness suddenly becomes the beaming promoter of their original country and culture. This usually happens after xenophobia, racism, and the realities of the west crash down on the FOB and they realize that they're not among friends. At this phase the Late Bus Activist is usually lonely, not as 'successful' as they had wished to be, and going through a genetic mid life crisis. They suddenly begin debating 'visiting' their home country more often. They're concerned with the 'americanness' of their children, and their relationship is falling apart because they no longer hold the 3rd world wield over their increasingly independant wife as they used to. The LBA suddenly hates white people. The LBA is more tolerant of African Americans and realizes they were 'right the whole time'. The LBA hates his co-workers, goes from job to job despite an advanced degree, and is liable to do wild off the wall baller shit. Buying overtly expensive cars, buying a new home, traveling more, and trying to cope with their depression with attempting to have sex with younger women despite marriage. The LBA is neither a fan of their own culture nor the western culture but becomes a preacher of the evils of the west. The LBA can be heard uttering late bus *** realizations such as

 

".... This country is not good..."

" In my country we buy everything with CASH, Americans think they're rich but they need a loan to buy everything! My country is rich!"

"In this country everyone is stressed out, In my country ________"

"Back home children ___________"

"When i was back home ___________"

"In (Africa/Asia) if you did this _______________"

 

Usually touting that their home country is a place of superior order, superior morals, superior human sentiment, and superior common sense. This is all a lie. People in their home countries are just as foolish as people in the west and don't know wtf the LBA is talking about. His delusional belief in the superior sensibilities of his home country give him a sense of importance. Realizing that he won't be shit in the west, because the west is designed to make sure nobody is shit, the LBA becomes a late bus appreciator of everything that isn't his current condition.

 

The end the cycle of suffering the FOB must realize one important thing. Geographic location and materials will never determine happiness. Unhappiness is normally born from the belief that the world, or in the FOBs case, your life, isn't as it should be. When you begin tying your emotions to geographic locations you're tying your well being to a branch headed down stream. The source of your unhappiness is the fact that you live in your head. Your perception of reality is based on an appreciation of life as it 'should be' and a stark inability to appreciate life as it is. Also, the race for 'status' will always be a race to your own doom. You will come to find that nobody cares, and somebody will always out do you, you have little control over your fate, and people aren't 'better' than others. Begin living in the real world and not in your head and the cycle of self depreciation is twarted.

 

Odds are only the FOBs at the final phase will understand what i'm talking about. The remainder will dismiss me because the FOB lives in a delusion and doesn't appreciate anyone interrupting it, especially someone from the west.

[Mario B]

The end the cycle of suffering the FOB must realize one important thing. Geographic location and materials will never determine happiness. Unhappiness is normally born from the belief that the world, or in the FOBs case, your life, isn't as it should be. When you begin tying your emotions to geographic locations you're tying your well being to a branch headed down stream. The source of your unhappiness is the fact that you live in your head. Your perception of reality is based on an appreciation of life as it 'should be' and a stark inability to appreciate life as it is. Also, the race for 'status' will always be a race to your own doom. You will come to find that nobody cares, and somebody will always out do you, you have little control over your fate, and people aren't 'better' than others. Begin living in the real world and not in your head and the cycle of self depreciation is twarted.

This!

[OdaySomali]

^ What stage are you at Mario