shaking hands with the opposite sex

[sharma-arke451]

sincerity of purpose is the prime factor here. we do what we do to please allah, and that entails obedience.

Having said that, co-workers and non muslim classmates, don't know islam, and if you tell them point blank, they might feel offended. So, you have to tell them in a manner that makes sense to them. like explain to them alil more that islam intends to protect women, and by not shaking hands, we are being empowered,,,,,,,,this will trigger a healthy discussion and opens a new window for doing some dacwah.

 

P.s. you do escape it with style. at times, you act point blank

[Somalia]

Interesting conversation here. I think it will offend the man if the girl who says no to shaking hands isn't attractive. So the question is, is Aaliyyah attractive enough for a sane man to get off on shaking her hand?

 

And from there she needs to make her choice on whether or not she has the looks to offend the man. I am just bringing logic to this thread.

 

Mashallah or yaaay to me.

[Aaliyyah]

sharma-arke451;890069 wrote:

sincerity of purpose is the prime factor here. we do what we do to please allah, and that entails obedience.

Having said that, co-workers and non muslim classmates, don't know islam, and if you tell them point blank, they might feel offended. So, you have to tell them in a manner that makes sense to them. like explain to them alil more that islam intends to protect women, and by not shaking hands, we are being empowered,,,,,,,,this will trigger a healthy discussion and opens a new window for doing some dacwah.

 

Well put. Mashallah.

[Miyir]

Shaking is not so friendly better give a hug!! spread the love waryaah

[Raamsade]

Aaliyah, are you so hot that guys lose all self-control from shaking your hand? Photo evidence or I don't believe it.

 

I never met a single guy who got a hardon from shaking a girl's hand in my 17+ years in the West where shaking hands is accepted social practice especially in professional settings. This is something unique to Arab culture where seeing bare flesh or hair is akin to foreplay and shaking hands it tantamount to having sex. It is one of the perverted aspects of Arab culture imported to our lands wholesale. Your mother and mine, and their mothers and mothers' mothers going back 100s of years, although devout Muslims, never wrestled with such petty dilemmas. So why are you concerned about something your proud Muslim foremothers never did?

[Narniah]

Jacpher;889886 wrote:

Should Muslims also stop taking prayer break time because it confirms and reinforces the misguided assumptions of Muslims going into a backroom to scream Allahu Akbar before they go on a rampage. Your argument is as absurd as this analogy sounds. You don't ask for permission from someone for you to worship your God. You don't stop pleasing God because others find it displeasure or inconvenience. You don't let the views of other people dictate how you conduct your religion. Your religion is your business, it defines you and who you are; so don't let others define you or give you a narrative that is not yours.

+1

Wadani;889901 wrote:

Listen Jacpher and Narniah, im not a wahhabi so I dont view some deeni things the same as u guys. Anyone thats reads my posts on this forum knows I dont give a shit wat gaalos or the white man think of me. I'm a Somali Muslim from the honorable Garxajis clan (all Somali clans are honorable by the way lol), ma cid iga fiican baa jirta?

Lol@ I'm not wahabi. Had I not known better I'd have you down as a Islam-phobic.

No need to start cussing, are you hoping you'll sound more tough if you swear? :rolleyes:

No one cares what tribe your from. At least I don't.

 

Mario B;889977 wrote:

If a Muslim [ who avoids major sins] who happen to shake the hand of the opposite is non-practising, according to you, then what you will call a Muslim who drinks, commits zinna and advocates clan murder? We need to exercise some proportionality here, me thinks!

How do you know they avoid major sins? I've seen them boasting about major sins on here too. I don't really care tbh, but don't tell me not to call them practicing Muslims when they obviously admit themselves they don't.

 

Well the beauty about Islam is that it doesn't just forbid us from sins. It helps us tackle/avoid the path that leads to it first.

Being loose in ones behavior such as hugging and shaking hands with the opposite gender can lead to zina. Zina doean't just mean doing the actual deed. There's zina of the eyes, the ears, the tongue etc.

[Wadani]

Islamophobe? Huh?? Am I missing sumthing here?

[Guzel]

It is all about intention, there will be old men who will use a handshake or hug to feel you up and young men who will shake your hand out of politeness, there is nothing sexual behind a handshake.

[Aaliyyah]

Raamsade;890168 wrote:

Aaliyah, are you so hot that guys lose all self-control from shaking your hand? Photo evidence or I don't believe it.

 

I never met a single guy who got a hardon from shaking a girl's hand in my 17+ years in the West where shaking hands is accepted social practice especially in professional settings. This is something unique to Arab culture where seeing bare flesh or hair is akin to foreplay and shaking hands it tantamount to having sex. It is one of the perverted aspects of Arab culture imported to our lands wholesale. Your mother and mine, and their mothers and mothers' mothers going back 100s of years, although devout Muslims, never wrestled with such petty dilemmas. So why are you concerned about something your proud Muslim foremothers never did?

It doesn't matter the different parts of the body various cultures find attractive. Islam is a way of life and applies to everyone in the same way. As for your mother I do not know her so I can't speak about her. However, there are many Somali ladies who are more cultured than religious. Each on his own but I hope that they start adhering to the islamic teachings because Islam is not a menue where you pick and choose and decide what is petty or not. Allah swt with his wisdom forbade people from certain practices because at the end it is for the good of humanity.

[Aaliyyah]

Guzel;890259 wrote:

It is all about intention, there will be old men who will use a handshake or hug to feel you up and young men who will shake your hand out of politeness, there is nothing sexual behind a handshake.

It might be all about intention. But, you are not in anyone's heart to know whether their intentions is right or not. Islam forbids something for our own good and even if at times we might not understand the wisdom behind a certian practice due to our limited knowledge we still have to abide by it.

[Guzel]

Aaliyyah;890295 wrote:

It might be all about intention. But, you are not in anyone's heart to know whether their intentions is right or not. Islam forbids something for our own good and even if at times we might not understand the wisdom behind a certian practice due to our limited knowledge we still have to abide by it.

I am only responsible for my own actions and intentions. Contact between the sexes is part of our daily life whether it is a doctor and patient or the guy sitting next to you in the bus, it happens all the time and we dont think about it. I view a handshake the same way. For someone not used to any contact with the opposite sex, then I understand how they might interpret it as sexual.

[Aaliyyah]

Just because it is part of our life in the west to shake hands with our professors, classmates or even our family doctors doesn't make it okey from religious point of view.Our prophet, peace be upon him said, "It is better for you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle than to touch the hand of a woman who is not permissible to you."

The idea of only being responsible for your intention doesn't really hold true, since it is you who is offering that handshake. It would be like saying I am not going to wear hijaab and if a brother thinks I am good looking then how is it my fault, my intention was pure and believe me there are people out there who say that.

Anyways, I am not telling you to stop shaking hands with the opposite sex that is clearly none of my business nor am I miss perfect who upholds every islaming ruling. I am simply pointing out where islam stands on this issue and it is up to us whether we will implement it in our daily lives.

[Aaliyyah]

Shake Hands With Women?

What's the Problem?

 

Question: Can men and women shake hands together?

NOTE : Respect of women and their rights to their own body and whether or not they allow men to touch them is at the very core of this answer. Keep in mind, Allah is the one who knows best what he has created and what the needs and limits are for each of us.

 

Shaking hands (and touching) members of the opposite sex when closely not related, is not permissable for Muslims according to the teachings of Islam.

Why?

This is to discourage physical contact which could lead to familiarity that is unwarranted or undesired by the lady. It could also be the initial cause for desire within the man.

Is it only Islam that has a problem?

Actually, men shaking hands with women was not totally accepted by society even in the United States less than one hundred years ago.

Unless it was through proper introduction and the woman had first extended her hand toward the gentleman it was considered improper for a man to extend his hand if the lady had not offered hers.

Additionally, it was only expected the man would hold only the tips of her fingers, while lowering his gaze.

Check it out for yourself and see how much society has deviated away from some of the very basic principles in social interaction between males and females.

 

Answer - First: It is not allowed for a believing man to put his hand in the hand of a woman who is not allowed for him (mother, wife, sister, daughter, etc.). Whoever does this has wronged himself (sinned).

There is a hadeeth (narration of an event) from Ma'qil ibn Yassar, saying; The prophet, peace be upon him said, "It is better for you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle than to touch the hand of a woman who is not permissible to you."

[At-Tabarani in "Al Kabir, #486. Shaikh Albani said in Sahih al-Jaami' it is sahih #5045]

This alone should be enough to keep away from this action and to instill obedience to Allah, as it implies touching women may lead to temptation and immorality.

 

Ayesha, the wife of the prophet, peace be upon him, said: 'When the believing women migrated (to Medina) and came to the prophet, peace be upon him, they would be examined in accordance with the words of Allah (in Quran):

"O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you the bai'a (pledge of allegience), that they will not associate anything in worship with Allah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal sexual intercourse, that they will not kill their children, that they will not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood (i.e. by making illegal children belonging to their husbands), and that they will not disobey you in any Ma'ruf (Islamic Monotheism and all that which Islam ordains) then accept their bai'a (pledge of allegience), and ask Allah to forgive them, Verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful".

[Al Mumtahinah 60:12]

Any of the believing women who accepted the conditions of the verse and agreed to live by them were considered to have offered themselves for giving their oaths of allegiance. When they declared their committment to do so, the prophet, peace be upon him, would say to them, "You may go. I have confirmed your allegiance."

I swear by Allah, the prophet's hand never touched the hand of a woman. He would receive their oath of allegiance by spoken declaration. I swear by Allah, the prophet, peace be upon him, never took any vow from women except what Allah had ordered him to take and his palm never touched the palm of a woman. When he had taken their pledge, he would tell them he had taken their oath from them orally.

(Sahih Al Muslim Book on Government, Hadtih #4602)

 

Ayesha said: 'Any of the believing women who agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed, the prophet, peace be upon him, said to them: 'Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.'

"No. (I swear) by Allah, the hand of the prophet, peace be upon him, never touched the hand of any woman; instead they would give their oath of allegiance with words only."

And Ayesha said: 'By Allah, the prophet, peace be upon him, only took the oath of allegiance from the women in the manner prescribed by Allah, and the hand of the prophet, peace be upon him, never touched the hand of any woman. When he had received their oath of loyalty and allegiance he would say, 'I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally."

[sahih Muslim, #1866]

(The prophet of Allah, peace be upon him) did not touch women who were not permissible (shaking hands, etc.). This despite the fact the oath of allegiance was orginally given by hand. So what about these other men (going around shaking hands)?

 

Umaymah bint Raqeeqah said: 'The prophet, peace be upon him, said, "I do not shake hands with women (not permissible to touch)."

[An-Nasaai, #4181 and Ibn Majah, #2874; Albani declared it sahih; Al Jami, #2513]

Second:

It's not permissable to shake hands even with a barrier (such as a garment) in between. There is an unacceptable narration (da'eef; not authentic) saying the prophet, peace be upon him, used to shake hands with women from beneath a garment.

(see: At-Tabarani in Al-Awsat, #2855). Al Haythami said: 'This was narrated by At-Tabarani in Al Kabir and Al Awsat. The chain of narrators includes 'Atab ibn Harb, who is da'eef (weak in narrations).

[Majam' al-Zawad'id, 6/39]

Wali Ad-Din Al Iraqi said: 'The words of Ayesha, "He used to accept the women's oath by words only" means he did so without taking their hands or shaking hands with them. This indicates the bay'ah (oath) of men was accepted by shaking hands, as well as words, and this is how it was. What Ayesha mentioned was the custom.'

 

Some mufassireen (type of scholar) mentioned the prophet, peace be upon him, asked for a vessel of water and dipped his hand in it, then the women dipped their hands in it. And some of them said he did not shake hands with them from behind a barrier and had a cloak from Qatar over his hand. And it was said 'Umar, may Allah accept from him, shook hands with them on his behalf.

None of these reports are true, especially the last one. How could 'Umar, may Allah accept from him, have done something the prophet, peace be upon him, would not do?

[Aaliyyah]

Tarh Al-Tathreeb, 7/45]

Sheikh Abdulaziz ibn Baz (Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabi, d. May, 1999), Allah's Mercy on him), said:

'The most correct view is this (shaking women's hands with something in between) is not allowed at all, because of the general meaning of the hadith, wherein the prohet, peace be upon him, said, "I do not shake hands with women (who are not related)" in order to avoid the way leading to evil.

[Adapted from Hashiyat Majmoo'at Rasal'il fil Hijab wa Sufor, p. 69]

Third:

The same rule applies to shaking hands with older women; it is also forbidden due to the general meaning of the texts on the issue. The reports saying it is permissible are weak (da'eef).

Al-Zayla'i said:

'As for the report saying Abu Bakr used to shake hands with old women, it is ghareeb (strange in its chain of narrators, not acceptable in this case).

[Nasab Al-Rayah, 4/240]

Ibn Hajar said: 'I cannot find this hadeeth."

[Al-Dirayah fil Takhreej Al Hadith al-Hidayah, 2/225]

Fourth:

[We now list the opinions of the four schools of jurisprudence (mathabs)]:

With regard to the views of the four imams, they are as follows:

1 - Hanafiya (Abu Hanifa) The Hanafi madhhab:

Ibn Nujaym said: 'It is not permissible for a man to touch a woman's face or hands even when there's no risk of desire because it is haraam in principle and there is no necessity to allow it.'

[Al-Bahr al-Raa'iq, 8/219]

 

2 - Maliki (Imam Malik) The Maaliki madhhab:

Muhammad ibn Ahmad ('Ulaysh) said: 'It's not permissible for a man to touch the face or hand of a non-mahram woman (not related), and it is not permissilbe for him to his hand on hers without a barrier. Ayesha, may Allah be pleased with her, said: 'The prophet, peace be upon him, never accepted a woman's oath of allegiance by shaking hands with her; instead he would accept their oath of alleginace in words alone.'

 

According to another report: 'His hand never touched the hand of a woman, instead he would accept their oath of allegiance with words alone.'

[Manh Al-Jaleel Sharh Mukhtasar Khaleel, 1/223]

3 - Shafiy (Imam Muhammad ibn Idris Ash-Shafi) Shafi Mathab:

Imam Al-Nawawi (author of Al-Arba'een and Riyadus Salahin) said, "It is not permitted to touch a woman (not properly related) in any way.

[Al Majmoo' 4/515]

Wali A-Din Al-Iraqi said, 'This indicates the hand of the prophet, peace be upon him, did not touch the hand of any woman except for those permissible to him, whether in the case of accepting their oath of allegiance or in other cases. If he didn't do it in spite of the fact he was far above suspicion, then it is even more essential for others to heed this prohibition. It appears from the texts he didn't do it because it was forbidden for him to do so.

The fuqaha (scholars of jurisprudence) among our companions and others say it is forbidden to touch a non-mahram (not properly related) woman even if it is touching any part of her body that is not a part of her 'awrah (private area between the navel and the knees), such as her face.

 

But their differences of opinon occured regarding looking (at them) when there is no desire and no fear of fitnah (serious calamity). The prohibition of touching is stronger even than the prohibition of looking, and it is forbidden when there is no necessity to allow it. In the case of necessity, such as medical treatment, removing a tooth or treating the eyes, if there is no woman available to do provide the treatment, then it is allowed for a man to do it because of the necessity.

[Tarh At-Tathreeb 7/45 #46]

4 - Hanbali (Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal) Hanbali Mathab

Ibn Muflih said about Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, that he was asked about a man who shakes hands with a woman. His answer was, 'No' and it was emphatically forbidden. When he was asked about shaking hands having some cloth in between he said, 'No'.

 

Shaikh Taqiy ul-Din also held the view it was prohibited and gave the reason, touching is more serious than looking.

Al-Adaab al-Shari'ah, 2/257

 

And Allahu 'Alim (Allah is the All-Knower)

[OdaySomali]

Aaliyyah;890346 wrote:

nor am I miss perfect who upholds every islaming ruling. I am simply pointing out where islam stands on this issue and it is up to us whether we will implement it in our daily lives.

 

 

Aaliyah, I like it that youve given a very fair and honest response and that throughout this thresd youve remained very respectful and level-headed. Well done and Manshallah. Keep doing what you are doing, clearly its working for you.

 

p.s. Waad qaboowday, beryo dhoweyd aad ayaad u kululayd.