Black Magic Attack in 'Somali-land' as Yet Another Somali Man Escapes 'Their' Evil Claws

[Alpha Blondy]

last night i found a miniature scale, rather ugly and disproportional voodoo doll of alpha inside my bag. this was planted and shrewdly inserted into my bag by a local JJ woman, i went to see yesterday afternoon after work. although the natural trait of the JJ would be to trap you in a 5 month long pregnancy, as experienced by my cousin who is a saqaajaan LOL. in somaliland, black magic is rife and seems to be a national pastime. all over the country you're either planning to put a spell on someone or be the victim of such heinous attacks. there are various ways to plant these evil spells and spirits. 1. in food, 2. under someones bed, 3. voodoo doll, 4. inconspicuous presents.

 

i'm more concerned about the evil eye, laakin. i always give graciously to charity and never leave my house without full ablution. the recent stresses have taken their toll on me and yesterday's unforeseen circumstances would suggest that this collapse of concentration was warranted and indeed a timely reminder. on this occasion, it appears, i was the victim of such heinous and a premeditated attack, having previously entertained such sinister motives myself, although never actually going the full way LOL. i was advised by Abbas from my local diirta insaanka branch that i ought to have the 30 juz of the Quran read on me and that i should serve (feed) popcorn and ful medames to 15 people to ward off the evil manifestation of the voodoo doll LOL.

[Faheema.]

^ I was just about to write that, but you beat me to it lol.

[Alpha Blondy]

^ what does your atheist god advise on black magic, evil eye and others spells and spirits?

[Alpha Blondy]

Apophis;878147 wrote:

Hmm...shouldn't this be in your cantarbaqash corner??

what's the point no one replies to that silly thread! LOL

[Faheema.]

Alpha, so where's the doll now?

[Alpha Blondy]

Faheema.;878154 wrote:

Alpha, so where's the doll now?

its with Abbas.

[Alpha Blondy]

Apophis;878153 wrote:

He'll cure and offer anti JJ protection for a mere £39.99. You wanna buy right?

lol@Apo,

 

you think you're so smart walahi. do you even know what JJ's are. listen, learn and then response you silly child. how much is Plan B these days by the way?

[Faheema.]

Alpha Blondy;878157 wrote:

its with Abbas.

The tailor? is he going to make it more proportional and pleaseing to the eye?

[Jacaylbaro]

all over the country you're either planning to put a spell on someone or the victim of such heinous attacks

Are you saying you've been planning this before ,,,, ?

[Alpha Blondy]

^ why would edit my own writing and mess around with it. WTF is wrong with you.

[Alpha Blondy]

Faheema.;878160 wrote:

The tailor? is he going to make it more proportional and pleaseing to the eye?

Abbas is from my local herbel medicine centre. he's experienced and works with all sorts of aliments. he was called around to the house after my shocking discovery. he's put the doll in a safe and secure environment as we're hoping to have it examined for finger prints and possible leads.

[Faheema.]

Ohh so exciting.... CSI Hargeisa

[Alpha Blondy]

Jacaylbaro;878161 wrote:

Are you saying you've been planning this before ,,,, ?

some may claim with authority you've been possessed JB, i strongly disagree and put it to down to your love of freedom and the WEST LOL but i've only considered this option as a last resort, plus i didn't/don't have the mental dexterity to go ahead with it.

[Jacaylbaro]

........... and I didn't you you have been involved in the JJ business ..... explains a lot

[Alpha Blondy]

^ JB what are you talking about? you're the biggest JJ i know!