Alpha's Troll and Cantarbaqash Corner LOL

[Alpha Blondy]

Alpha Blondy;917045 wrote:

not in the best of moods right now.................... i had to turn someone away from the house this morning. reer somaliland and their lack of respect for privacy has become an everyday living nightmare for Alpha. i had my phone switched so i can at least sleep well this weekend. its rare that i get full 8 hours sleep these days. they came around and i literally told to leave me alone. i didn't accept the excuse that my phone was switched. i was very blatantly in my remarks to them to NEVER come around.

 

i felt good for a while but startled feeling guilty after my follow up call. they were apologetic but i didn't relent in mincing my words, to them. it was unequivocal, cold and very clear - LEAVE ME ALONE.

 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

by the way........the unwanted vistor was my eedo, my dad's sister and she'd come to visit her nephew. i'm so ashamed. i can't even look at myself in my new 1metre studio-flat-open-space styled mirror. i feel so ugly inside. if you don't look after what's on the inside, what's on the outside will also be ugly too....

 

her inkaar will fall on me. i need some ideas about how i'm going to make up to her. xaal waa inaan bixiyo

[Waranle_Warrior]

^Acuudu bilaah you are brutal and have very inhuman like heart. There is no such thing as privacy in Somalia, better get used to it and don't you dare talk to old people like that let alone your Eedo.

 

Indeed you gota make up to her and pay Xaal marin.

[Alpha Blondy]

Waranle_Warrior;917053 wrote:

^Acuudu bilaah you are brutal and have

very inhuman like heart

. There is no such thing as privacy in Somalia, better get used to it and don't you dare talk to old people like that let alone your Eedo.

 

Indeed you gota make up to her and pay Xaal marin.

WW,

 

you needn't remind me of my fall from grace this morning. i'm so ashamed. how did my warm heart become so cold? how did i become like them?

[Haatu]

I'm going to do something I'll regret later but here goes:

 

kkkkk (Oh God just typing it feels so Fresh ). War beenta naga daa. Kulahaa eedadey baan ilinka ke celiyey kkkk (xanuun badanaa )

 

Sxb, runtii waan kaa maseersanyahey. Dadkaadii iyo dalkaadii baad joogtaa adoon dareemeyn innaba inaad tahey "qaxooti". Laakiin beenta naga yaree

[Alpha Blondy]

Haatu;917087 wrote:

I'm going to do something I'll regret later but here goes:

 

kkkkk (Oh God just typing it feels so Fresh

). War beenta naga daa. Kulahaa eedadey baan ilinka ke celiyey kkkk (xanuun badanaa

)

 

Sxb, runtii waan kaa maseersanyahey. Dadkaadii iyo dalkaadii baad joogtaa adoon dareemeyn innaba inaad tahey "qaxooti". Laakiin beenta naga yaree

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

 

you're the biggest liar i know. you say you're 18 years old....WTF! i bet you're not even a mark-a-bull. .

 

walahi bilahi there is always some element of truth in my posts. the characters and events depicted in these cantarbaqash monologues by Alpha, are attempts to express my mental thoughts aloud....though it also, and sometimes, serves to directly address entirely different matters to the subjects been discussed/trolled. these cantarbaqash have been fictionalised for dramatic effect but if ever, you were smart haatu, and read between the lines, as it were, you'd realise 96% of these cantarbaqash are real. if you don't want to believe that then iska aamus. ma fahantahay haatu-oow?

 

e.g - it wasnt my eedo but my friend that i asked to leave. think! you little prick. use your brain to decipher the smoke screens. LOOOL

[Haatu]

lol I can't believe ^This is the person Apo and Oba got mad at. You're clearly deranged and your hinges have long ago loosened I am 18 but I'll leave the other part to you

[Alpha Blondy]

Alpha Blondy;884270 wrote:

my best friend has come back from europe. i'm so excited to see him. there i was sitting and then my phone rings and its him LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. its pure madness.

my best friend is leaving tomorrow for Dubai. i really don't know when i'll see him again. it's tragic walahi that he's leaving but we were talking the other day and i asked if he could leave some of his items behind for me. so far i've managed to get first dips on a diesel watch, a Louis Vuitton bag and several other items.

 

i'll see him off tomorrow morning. how will life change for Alpha? i don't know. one things for sure, it won't be the same again. LOOL

[Haatu]

Anyways, I've spent a whole day just sitting at home doing nothing. I only left the house once to buy something. What kind of a Saturday is this? I was supposed to go cinema with friends and catch up (I stopped socialising for the exam period) but I cancelled. Someone raided my wardrobe and because of that I have to go shopping, so no money to socialise (goodbye Starbucks ). Isn't this a sad situation?

 

On the bright side, I get to go shopping! soon...

 

I was thinking of buying red converses a bit like these:

I don't know why but I'm a bit tired of Vans. My friend was advising me to buy DCs (skate shoes) but I think they're ugly.

 

Now that shoes are outta the way, we turn to jumpers/hoodies. We're soon entering (at least I hope) that time of the year where it's a tad too hot (and damn right unfashionable) to continue wearing your winter coat. This means thick jumpers/hoodies are required as well as those thin water-proof jackets (like some of those SuperDry Jpn jackets that were the rage last year). The problem here I that my wardrobe is severely lacking in both regards and I most certainly won't be wearing my winter coat. So, I guess I'll have to check out TKMax and Blue Inc in the next couple of days.

 

We now enter the realm of life below the belt (trousers - speaking of belts I need to get some new ones as well). I'm getting a bit tired of Chinos but everywhere I look it seems these slim trousers are the only ones on the market! However, it was Mufti Day (non-school uniform day) a couple of weeks ago at school and a friend of mine had these really nice trousers that weren't chinos (but they were still a bit tight but not disgustingly figure-hugging) and were nice and simple. But the dirty b@stard won't tell where he got them! I guess I'll have to spend a whole weekend between Westfield's and Oxford Street just to find them.

 

So much to do and such little time. And oh yeah, I hate shopping but at least I can make a girl happy and finally accept a request to "go out". At least then there's someone there to tell me whether the clothes I buy look nice (You see whenever I ever go shopping I buy clothes that are qaabdaran according to my mum and plain ugly in my view after coming home and having a proper look lol )

[Alpha Blondy]

Haatu;917119 wrote:

lol I can't believe ^This is the person Apo and Oba got mad at. You're clearly deranged and your hinges have long ago loosened

I am 18 but I'll leave the other part to you

you're not the first to call me crazy. that's merely your interpretation of events, in so far, as my mental well-being, is concerned. laakin, the truth of the matter remains, i'm perfectly normal and can lift my own body weight four times. . LOOOOOOOOOL.

 

18 kulaha! ok.

 

adeer, naga daa hadaba dee. i feel a little silly talking to a spotty-teenager. go and do what regular 18 years do, yeah?

[Haatu]

Alpha addressing me with adeer lol aduun gadoon I can withstand Ngonge using that but it's a lil too much coming from you. I knew I should've kept my age hidden

[Alpha Blondy]

Haatu;917123 wrote:

Anyways, I've spent a whole day just sitting at home doing nothing. I only left the house once to buy something. What kind of a Saturday is this? I was supposed to go cinema with friends and catch up (I stopped socialising for the exam period) but I cancelled. Someone raided my wardrobe and because of that I have to go shopping, so no money to socialise (goodbye Starbucks

). Isn't this a sad situation?

 

On the bright side, I get to go shopping! soon...

 

I was thinking of buying red converses a bit like these:

I don't know why but I'm a bit tired of Vans. My friend was advising me to buy DCs (skate shoes) but I think they're ugly.

 

Now that shoes are outta the way, we turn to jumpers/hoodies. We're soon entering (at least I hope) that time of the year where it's a tad too hot (and damn right unfashionable) to continue wearing your winter coat. This means thick jumpers/hoodies are required as well as those thin water-proof jackets (like some of those SuperDry Jpn jackets that were the rage last year). The problem here I that my wardrobe is severely lacking in both regards and I most certainly won't be wearing my winter coat. So, I guess I'll have to check out TKMax and Blue Inc in the next couple of days.

 

We now enter the realm of life below the belt (trousers - speaking of belts I need to get some new ones as well). I'm getting a bit tired of Chinos but everywhere I look it seems these slim trousers are the only ones on the market! However, it was Mufti Day (non-school uniform day) a couple of weeks ago at school and a friend of mine had these really nice trousers that weren't chinos (but they were still a bit tight but not disgustingly figure-hugging) and were nice and simple. But the dirty b@stard won't tell where he got them! I guess I'll have to spend a whole weekend between Westfield's and Oxford Street just to find them.

 

So much to do and such little time. And oh yeah, I hate shopping but at least I can make a girl happy and finally accept a request to "go out". At least then there's someone there to tell me whether the clothes I buy look nice

(You see whenever I ever go shopping I buy clothes that are

qaabdaran

according to my mum and plain ugly in my view after coming home and having a proper look lol

)

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL@Haatu-oow,

 

saxib your life is not short of fun, ma istidhi?

 

there i was thinking you're just a regular 18 year old but you're NOT! are you? you're a fashion-conscious consumerist teenager. the type who epitomises the London riots of 2011, the feral type without community values, the type obsessed with materialist objects whose empty pockets fail to kick-start the economic revival predicated by analyst in these austerity and debt-ridden times. your long essay LOL and its description really reeks of teenage tantrums and a life severely starved of disposable cash to spend on new shoes. but, nonetheless, due to environmental factors are able to squeeze the last remaining drops of value from every single pound so as to best maximise a basic social life, if that.

 

just as you are now in 2013, i was doing my A2's in 2003 and life in those days offered some semblance of hope. it was very different from the hard prospects that face your generation now. in those early days of new labour, Alpha's life was very different from yours. i wasn't fashion obsessed nor had much of a social life, to be quite frank. i was serious student, engrossed by my A Levels (Geography, Politics, Economics and GS) at the reputed Woodhouse College, no doubt. i was very luckily to be accepted at this prestigious college and i didn't disappoint in achieving the grades i'd set out for. LOOOOL.....NOT!

 

it'll be approaching 10 years, by the time you complete your A2's, to the day i had completed sixth form college. in those A2 days, Al looked forward to uni and knew very much of the what lied ahead. a new life beckoned at University and i didnt waste time in throwing myself at its deep end LOOOL. this was where i grew, as i'm sure you'll come to grow too. in uni, everything changed, the old glad-rags and the bookworm rims were out of the window. instead came in the newer refined Al, who, as though, he'd gone through Matthew Kelly's Star's In Their Eyes changing room, metamorphed into an A-list celebrity. amazing times and i've got the pictures to prove it too....:p

 

LOOOOOOOOOOOL

[QansaxMeygaag]

Alpha Blondy;916954 wrote:

SOMALIA migration flows across the world

 

Population:

9,767,889

Emigrants:

813,273

Migrant destinations

ETHIOPIA 161,179

UNITED KINGDOM 110,326

USA 109,618

YEMEN 79,466

DJIBOUTI 57,246

KENYA 55,246

EGYPT 36,258

SAUDI ARABIA 27,252

CANADA 22,718

SWEDEN 17,948

 

http://peoplemov.in/?fb_source=ticker&fb_action_ids=10152535211465594&fb_action_types=og.likes#f_SO

 

-----------

 

interesting site. check it out if you have time.

Dude there is 600,000 Somali refugees in Kenya, mainly in Dadaab, not 55,246, TEN TIMES THAT...

[QansaxMeygaag]

Alpha Blondy;917131 wrote:

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL@Haatu-oow,

 

a new life beckoned at University and i didnt waste time in throwing myself at its deep end LOOOL. this was where i grew, as i'm sure you'll come to grow too. in uni, everything changed, the old glad-rags and the bookworm rims were out of the window. instead came in the newer refined Al, who, as though, he'd gone through Matthew Kelly's Star's In Their Eyes changing room, metamorphed into an A-list celebrity. amazing times and i've got the pictures to prove it too....

:p

 

LOOOOOOOOOOOL

Tell us about your interesting Uni days? What did you do? Looks like a complete 180 degrees turnaround from nerd to celeb...

[Alpha Blondy]

QansaxMeygaag;917133 wrote:

Dude there is 600,000 Somali refugees in Kenya, mainly in Dadaab, not 55,246, TEN TIMES THAT...

i know. but these are the only stats available. if you look at the site, you'll see for somalia, that only out-migration is listed but NOT inward immigration. LOOL. there are plenty of immigrates in the Somali-peninsula. you can't imagine how many kenyans, ethiopians and djiboutians are here, even if they're somali. this should be reflected in the figures.

[Haatu]

Alpha Blondy;917131 wrote:

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL@Haatu-oow,

 

saxib your life is not short of fun, ma istidhi?

 

there i was thinking you're just a regular 18 year old but you're NOT! are you? you're a fashion-conscious consumerist teenager. the type who epitomises the London riots of 2011, the feral type without community values, the type obsessed with materialist objects whose empty pockets fail to kick-start the economic revival predicated by analyst in these austerity and debt-ridden times. your long essay LOL and its description really reeks of teenage tantrums and a life severely starved of disposable cash to spend on new shoes. but, nonetheless, due to environmental factors are able to squeeze the last remaining drops of value from every single pound so as to best maximise a basic social life, if that.

 

just as you are now in 2013, i was doing my A2's in 2003 and life in those days offered some semblance of hope. it was very different from the hard prospects that face your generation now. in those early days of new labour, Alpha's life was very different from yours. i wasn't fashion obsessed nor had much of a social life, to be quite frank. i was serious student, engrossed by my A Levels (Geography, Politics, Economics and GS) at the reputed Woodhouse College, no doubt. i was very luckily to be accepted at this prestigious college and i didn't disappoint in achieving the grades i'd set out for. LOOOOL.....NOT!

 

it'll be approaching 10 years, by the time you complete your A2's, to the day i had completed sixth form college. in those A2 days, Al looked forward to uni and knew very much of the what lied ahead. a new life beckoned at University and i didnt waste time in throwing myself at its deep end LOOOL. this was where i grew, as i'm sure you'll come to grow too. in uni, everything changed, the old glad-rags and the bookworm rims were out of the window. instead came in the newer refined Al, who, as though, he'd gone through Matthew Kelly's Star's In Their Eyes changing room, metamorphed into an A-list celebrity. amazing times and i've got the pictures to prove it too....

:p

 

LOOOOOOOOOOOL

lol I may not be a posh Ealing Common boy that gets £££ from his parents but I most certainly do have some money to do some of the things I want. I work mate, I don't steal the ceer money that's been put aside for the ayuuto like you used to :D

 

A book worm? I know a couple of guys like that. They say that as soon as uni starts they're gonna go crazy. Such sados. I always had a feeling you were one. So what did you do in your glorious uni days whilst doing your foundation year for three years consecutively (due to your poor A levels and constantly failing)?