SuRvIvEr Posted April 18, 2003 asalama calaykum walaaliyal you see i have this friend that comes to me when ever she has a question about whether our religion forbids about dating and the ways that the westerners defines as dating.reasonally she began going out with a none somali.ok,ok i know race is no big deal but the guy is no muslim and the last time she told me they had a date she tells me that they kissed and how she feels so bad about it and i told her that what she did was haram so she replied that she won't stop untill she goes all the way with him.Now the other thing is she is coming to me when she has a date with and asking me how she should do her do her make up and what kind of clothing would be dirty enough just so he can like it.i want to know whether its actually a sin for me in giving her advices on her style would be wrong for me to do cuz she is never taking my advice on when it comes to our religion.plz bothers/sisters give me a straight answer cuz i need to know if our religion forbids that kind of advices thank you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bambina Posted April 19, 2003 Sup everyone ,I dont know if givin dis kind of advices to ur friend r haram. Since u told her not to date but at da same time ur helpin her wit her clothes for a date, I find dat very contradictin.Im not sure but I think it's haram,if u still doubt about it u should ask a cheikh.I hope u find ur answers,take care. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lovely me Posted April 19, 2003 huh brotha did you tell her that muslim women can't date non muslim. that is haram. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StarGazer Posted April 20, 2003 That's an excellent question! Ofcourse you'd be sining everytime you give advices that leads to haram actions. One of my girlfriends knows not ask me to be her fashion consultant when she's getting ready to club...lol. Listen sis, don't be afraid to speak your mind. If you know her well and you think you can persuade her to do the right thing, then talk to her. I'm not talking about beating her down with the truth (as some might like to do), but having the right attitude and approach can have a positive effect. Otherwise, make it clear to her that her behavior is unacceptable by you and that hearing about it upsets you. Respecting each other's bounderies is important. Who knows, she might oneday become inspired by your adherance to the truth. Anyway, If you want hadiths talking about this I could provide it to you after my exams are over :eek: , Insha allah. Good luck abaayo. ***runs n' looks for more supply of caffeine***** Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Musadaq Posted April 20, 2003 Asalaamu Calaykum 2 all tha brothaz and sistaz! I think that it is haraam to give advices to her because by giving her such advices you are not helping her. By giving her advices you are encouraging her and that is not what you are suppose to do. She will think that it is the right thing to do. And ALLAH strickly prohibited muslims from having Girlfriends and Boyfriends.(That is something i know). So my advice to you brother is to tell that friend of yours that what she is doing is haraam and she should stop...If she turns a deaf ear then what else can we do? Only ALLAH can guide her. ALLAH KNOWS BEST Wasalaamu Calaykum! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Musadaq Posted April 20, 2003 Ma bad i thought u was a guy...well abaayo i wish u alot of luck and may ALLAH help all the people who need help out there AMIIN Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Musadaq Posted April 20, 2003 LOL i'm sorry for posting 2 many messages but i am really confused here. I dont know wheter alwayz a survivor is a guy or gal. Aight jus want 2 get things clear. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maxamed Caday Posted April 20, 2003 Everything she is doing is haraam. Assisting her is also haraam. Allah has forbidden dating. Women have to cover every part of their body except their face and hands. That is obligatory. It is forbidden to allow any Muslim woman to go with a kafir man. Her wali should be aware of what she is doing. If she marries a kafir, she may become one too, because the man is stronger than the woman. There is a hadith that the Prophet Muhammad (sullalahu alayhi wa salaam) said if you imitate a people, you are one of them. So please sister, do not let your friend commit these haraam acts and immitate the kufar. If you care for her and she is your friend, you should try to save her from running to the hellfire. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Musadaq Posted April 20, 2003 Thanks for the advice brother and now we have the answer to our question. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Khayr Posted April 21, 2003 Salaamz, My nasiha (advice) regardings such a situation is to try to distance yourself from that person. You don't cut off ties with them completely, but you let them know that your not down with their behaviour through silence. If done probably, it will be noticed! Words are not enough and usually get mistinterpreted the wrong way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mujahida Posted April 22, 2003 SalamAlayKum I do not need to say More. always a surviver Every response you got from all the Brothers and Sisters here were Right and Very useful. InshaAllah good luck. The truth is a Beautiful thing. Even it seems as if it's gonna be too Harsh but ALLAH loves that. God Bless Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuRvIvEr Posted May 4, 2003 THANK YOU ALL OF YOU THAT ANSWERED MY QUESTION I REALLY APPRECIATED THANK YOU AGAIN.P.S TO MUSADAQ I AM 100% FEMALE.THANX TO ALL OF YOU ONCE AGAIN. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MaLikah Posted May 12, 2003 Always a survivor, since you seem to be more religion-conscious than your friend, it may not be a wise idea to spend too much time with her. For one, we all that your friends have a way of influencing into situations and thigns we may not otherwise be involved in. It may not distort your views completely, but you'll definitely find yourself compromising your beliefs. If what you truly believe is that she's doing wrong and you feel its against how you practice the deen, then let her know. Constantly. If she's truly your friend, she'll listen-she may not act upon it-but she should respect you enough to see that you're uncomfortable giving her advice that may bring you dunbi. I had a similiar situation years ago, sad to say, a time when I was way more religious. A friend who did not wear a hijaab asked to me to take them to a hair salon, a public one if memory serves me correct. I told her that I couldn't because she'd be wearing her hair out after coloring it (dunbi)-and that would be sin onto me for having taken her there to begin with. It's hard but you gotta say NO to your closest friends sometimes cuz your deen comes first. But hey-alot of times it shows your character and they have alot more respect for you in the end. And I'd rather be RESPECTED than be known as a FOLLOWER. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emerald Posted May 12, 2003 ^always a survivor^..... YU WANTED A STR8 4WARD ANSER!!!! yessssssss it issssss haram bcos yur assistin her in duin haram, thas haram in it's self...sis yu cn try givin her the choice between yur friendship with her nd this guy she iss datin! either way allgud 4 yyu, if she chooses yur friendship all the haram cn b 4gotten nd yu wnt ave to worry ne-moe...nd if she dus choose this so-called boyfriend ova yu den not much skin off yur bk!!! yu cn live yur life noin yu gave her the choice ndshe chose the rung path 2 live her life----the rest iss between her nd ALLAH allmighty. peace out...wsaalamu caleykum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
