Somali marriage goes wrong and the bride is raped.

[Malika]

Ibti, indeed. She gained the daughters trust at that point - this would have been the time to raise the bar abit by talking to her daughter about her concerns and listen to her daughters views. I dont know - the mother seemed overwhelmed with fear and as you know unfortunately 'marriage' in Somali for a girl is the answer to all ills of the world. Gabadha niin uu guuri leh loo laa taliyee mamadu..

[uchi]

Sad • Where are her relatives? f • cking pathetic, and she was born outside Somalia too.

[Guzel]

I have not come across a case of forced marriage involving a 16 year old. They went back home, so why would the mother force her to get married? None of the dhaqan celis girls I knew were forced to get married, after a few years of living back home they chose to get married and returned back to UK with a failed marriage behind them.

 

The hiding part is so exxagerated, Somalis are not Pakistanis, her mother is not going to harm her. I would not refer to a relative I did not know as uncle, out of respect yes, but he is actually not her uncle. Dont get me started on the hijab part, a muslim woman's story is never complete without the hijab.

[Somalia]

Guzel;858015 wrote:

I have not come across a case of forced marriage involving a 16 year old. They went back home, so why would the mother force her to get married? None of the dhaqan celis girls I knew were forced to get married, after a few years of living back home they chose to get married and returned back to UK with a failed marriage behind them.

 

The hiding part is so exxagerated, Somalis are not Pakistanis, her mother is not going to harm her. I would not refer to a relative I did not know as uncle, out of respect yes, but he is actually not her uncle.

Dont get me started on the hijab part, a muslim woman's story is never complete without the hijab.

I have to admit that's funny :D:D:D

[Taleexi]

Women empowerment seems to be a lucrative business in our community. - Xoogaa xawaashayn ah baanse sheekada ka dhadhamiyey, qof sideeda oo kale ah (yacni indhuhu u furan yihiin, haysatana adeegyo si fudud uga samatabixin kara dacdarada haysata) ma aha wax sahlan in lagu khasbo inay qof nafsadeedu diidan tahay la noolaato - haa hal asbuuc iyo wax la mid ah khasab-raaxaysi guureed waa loogu been guuri karaa balse inay sii joogto waa lack of courage at its best.

[Aaliyyah]

This sad story isn't hard to believe, it is plausible. It is a good example of parents failing to raise and discipline their kids in the west, and then out of desperation tossing them back home hoping they can change their grown kids.

 

Sadly what they failed to do for 20 years can't be solved instantly with marrying their daughters off. It simply doesn't work like that.

 

I am glad the young girl can put that nightmare behind her and hopefully can find in her heart to forgive her mother at some point in her life.

[burahadeer]

mother need to be thrown into gang cell...a taste of her own medicine.Pathetic b

[Blessed]

Malika;857994 wrote:

^You would be suprised at the amount of such cases dear. I am anticipating come Sept. of this case, I was involved in at the end of term. I pray the mother came to her senses.

 

Teenagehood is the most challenging times for parents and teenagers. In this case the mother made one mistake, after the girl finished secondary school their relationship was relaxed , this was her opportunity to bond with her, thus to be able to influence her daughter's life choices. It should always not be my way or the high way - parenting like any other relationship it requires a certain amount of compromise, understanding, negotiations, compassion and respect.

 

 

For those whom are raising pre-teens or teens - I would recommend this book called.

 

"How to Talk So Kids Will Listen& Listen So Kids Will Talk"

 

To raise self worth young women will require mothers to change their tone.their language etc. The former talk of - anigu markaa adiga kuu leeg, I was cooking, cleaning, carrying three of my sibling on my back whilst caltivating the land, caring for my abo,hoyo, praying 5 salah including all sunnah, read the quraan from cover to cover 100 times, wore clothes that were hand me down from aunties/cousins etc, never watched a movie, iska baa daa listen to music, I was known in the neighbourhood as 'saint Khadija' adigu naa waxaa rabta inaad ii cebeysiid - the whole neighbourhood is talking about you, you went our wearing jeans?? adigo madax qawaan?? alla baa ayee!! ..You say what, you want to join the school debate team - naa yaa caruutaa laa jogeyaa whilst I am at heblayo's house huh? naa jogsoo anigu debate team iyo waxaas maa aqaan. Guriga joog, sidhii Xalimo maa noqootiid - gabadh wanagsaan oo xeshmad leh noqoo - anigu tolow xagee inkartuu iga racdee - gabadh iis qawisaa oo music degesataa oo rabta inee kolbaa meel ado - naa degeysoo...Iskulan baas marka aad dameysiin, wad gursani doontaa anigu caruur garac marabo...Illahi naa astuur..Lol

Well put, sis. I feel sorry for our kids sometimes.

[Abwaan]

Illeen sheekooyinkaan oo kale ayaa meelaha lagu qoraa markaas baa inta la soo qurxiyo dadku rumaystaa, unless I knew this sheeko iyo qofka ay ku dhacday before reading this artcile aniga xitaa waa iga gadmi lahayd... Taleexi tan Xawaash ma ahane ka badan baa lagu daray. Just to clarify one thing celinta wax baa ka jira. and for the uncle part, ciyaalka qurbaha ku kora say all men uncle, and haddii nin habarta ciddeeda uu yahayna for them waaba abti run ah. I would rather not say more than this now.

[Mooge]

Xawaash iyo nus. Qoftaan hooyadeeda kax ka taagnayd markii horeba. The story is hinting there was a reason parent took her back. What was she doing markii hore?

[Chimera]

I hope the sister finishes her education and finds a good man. The civil-war clearly has made some of us re-invent ourselves with alien customs, and practices. This type of publicity used to bother me, because it will reflect badly on the entire community, but I don't care anymore. I can dismiss one retarded parent/thug, but 4,12, 200 negative stories seem to pop up every day, week and year, wtf?

 

Brand Somalia is going to need alot of money and ideas, better to just wait until this dumb conflict about nothing ends before a PR damage repair campaign is initiated.

[Nin-Yaaban]

LoL this sounds like something only Hollywood could come up with, with escaping and shit like that. Or maybe she's lying. Either way, real nice story.

[Abwaan]

Nin-Yaaban, of course one can see that a young girl on her own cannot come up with such story therefore there is an organisation that made up some of the story specially the extreeme bits..... The scape is true but other things that can make the reader of this story upset and mad are NOT. I do want to protect this young lady's identity so I dont want to go on details but beleive me I don't normally beleive on conspiracy theories but I do on this one:D

I hope that we are not witnessing another Ayan Hersi in the making.

[MySideofTown]

Sadly this story doesn´t surprise me. Many Somali parents will go to great lengths to assert their power over their offspring. They don´t know how to communicate, only how to bark out orders and commands and use very abuse language. I´ve heard with my own ears the verbal abuse many Somali girls recieve from their parents, but when the child stops responding to the abuse and finds other interests that are foreign to the mother, they think the child is crazy and in need of dhaqan celis. I ask myself many times why some Somali parents even decide to become parents since they don´t know the first thing about raising children.

[Nin-Yaaban]

MySideofTown;858096 wrote:

Sadly this story doesn´t surprise me. Many Somali parents will go to great lengths to assert their power over their offspring. They don´t know how to communicate, only how to bark out orders and commands and use very abuse language. I´ve heard with my own ears the verbal abuse many Somali girls recieve from their parents, but when the child stops responding to the abuse and finds other interests that are foreign to the mother, they think the child is crazy and in need of dhaqan celis. I ask myself many times why some Somali parents even decide to become parents since they don´t know the first thing about raising children.

LoL you sound very upset. What happened, did Hooyo/Aabe tell you to follow their rules if you are going to live in their house? Yea, i can see how that's an abuse.