Islamic lecture

[purplemist]

Assalamu Alikum,

I just came across this lecture, and thought of sharing it with the rest of you. InshAllah, may it benefit us all.

 

It's titled "Boys & Girls - A Love Story" by Abu Eesa Niamatullah

 

[Nur]

A great Topic Purple sis.

 

Least discussed but most needed for Muslims worldwide specially in these wireless days.

 

 

Here was one of my attempts few years back (2002), but most nomads shy away and i dropped the topic. Here is the piece.

 

 

Asalamu Calaykum wa raxmatullah wa barakaatuh

 

The Following is the light side of my Dawa Work, I published it on Somalinet a while back, it is targeted to appeal to a segment of readers of Nur posts, so be careful when you read.

 

 

DISCLAIMER

 

 

The information in the following Post and ideas delivered with it is intended only for the sole purpose of Islamic Edutainment ( combination of entertainment and education), Ideas presented in this post should be discussed cautiously at home with your grandmother as it may contain hilarious material as well as useful knowledge. Any injury, physical, emotional or being possessed by Jinn, resulting from reading this post is the sole responsibility of the reader. Nur, Nurtel, Nutty Professors, Cag Biciid, or any personality appearing in Nur posts can not be sued for more than 500 Somali schillings ( Kaaraan , Puntland and Kismayo currency) which will settle all damages that will include, injuries suffered when laughing out loud.

 

Resending this Post to your friends may pose a health threat if they can crack up easily. If you have read this post by mistake, please contact Moderators for emotional consolation and comfort, and inquire about the character of the writer and his mental condition at the time of writing and immediately drink a cup of Caano Geel to gain back your sanity.

 

If you think that you are not the intended audience of this post, you are given the right to copy, distribute, disclose or to take any action, no mater how funny, or sick including but not confined to body language, throwing up or fainting.. Statements and opinions expressed in this post are those of the the fictional Cag Biciid personality alone, and do not necessarily reflect those of Somaliaonline nor of Nur, Nurtel Communications or its subsidiaries.

 

 

Breaking News!

 

 

Love bugs identified at NURTERL Labs

 

 

As SARS bug spreads in Asia and now in Canada and Europe, NURTEL Scientists are struggling with yet another potentially dangerous bug. The scientists at Nurtel Social Engineering Labs at the Naaso Hablood Research Complex, Hargeisa, have identified two love bug strains that go around stealthy attacking young people who have no idea what this bug can do to them, a bug that is so subtle, it can attack it's non suspecting victims in a split of second, and as a result, it has the potential to change their lives for ever as it may tie victims together forever as spouses.

 

Nurtell scientists are warning its audience that this bug is mostly transmitted in spring time, and as most of you are aware, Spring time is a season of flowers and roses, so beautiful and breathtaking that nature begins to talk to your love bug receptors to receive love signals, just like it talks to the honey bee to collect flower nectar to make honey. The saying goes that you are no bunny, till some bunny loves you. The famous Contemporary Egyptian Poet Sings:

 

" Ataaka arrabiicu talqu yakhtaalu daaxikan, minal xusni xataa kaada an yatakallamaa"

 

Upon you is the open laughing season of spring, it is beauty just stops short of speaking"

 

In that sense, Allah's nature speaks to your imbedded Fitra to respond, causing your heart to miss beats, and for some, ( Qalbi Jileyc) people, the love bug sufferers' stomach lining can be so stressed that they lose appetite of food altogether ( Except for Basra, nothing can come between her and her honey dipped triple layered ice cream)

 

So, in this season, something within you is talking to you, just like it talks to all other creatures on earth after the season of snow and death. A true message that says:

 

"he who manifested the regeneration of life after a season of gloom and winter, will resurrect mankind to a new reality after death".

 

Nurtel scientists always working for the well-being of Somalinet audience are busy identifying the concerns of the Nur posts readers from Tasmania, to Tennessee, and as a result of their painstaking research, the ( Nutty Professors @ Nurtel), Yicib Perfessers have Identified two strains of love bugs.

 

1. The I-Contact love bug

 

2. E- Contact love bug

 

 

First, the I- Contact ( Eye Contact) love bug, which is as common as the common cold can be retracted mostly in open parks, shopping malls, schools, family functions, Reer Qansax get-together parties, but the safest love bug of this strain is the love bug caught right after Friday Prayers at the Masjid's parking lots and the Shish-kebab and sandwich stands attended by attractive Sisters and handsome brothers. Some Nur posts readers may have even caught the bug at the unlikeliest of places, like Tacsiyah Funeral functions, which is a deadly mistake that our scientists do not recommend.

 

Most victims of this strain have reported that they got infected after exchanging eye contact with a person of the opposite sex and immediately felt strange ticklish feeling like heart murmur, shortness of breath, and sudden interest to be around the love bug carrying person.

 

The problem of this type of love bug is that the bug temporarily takes control of the victims reasoning faculties, intelligence and in serious cases, the victims faith.

 

Once the Love bug immobilizes the intelligence of the victim, the victim becomes a slave for the love bug, which can lead to complications beyond this posts objectives.

 

 

The second Love Bug Strain, the E- Contact, the Email version is transmitted through the Internet, specially Somalinet forums. This bug is quite the opposite of the Eye Contact Bug, for starters, the victim usually reads posts of Somalinet and suddenly finds a writer who makes a lot of sense and who shares with the victim a lot in their views of life and faith.

 

E-Contact Love Bug victims are not attracted by looks alone, they are after substance, they begin getting hooked to the writer's posts. This class of lovelorn victims usually have a high IQ, are doing well in their career or school, have faith and are selective of who they want to spend their life with. Nurtel Scientists, feel that the E-Contact Love bug to be like the good cholesterol.

 

To be successful, viewers of Nur posts are advised to manage their exposure of the two strains of love bugs, Nurtel scientists although preferring the E-Contact love bug for the first time ( Love at first log on), they strongly recommend a lively exchange of eye- to- eye sessions to cement stronger relationships that last.

 

In this thread, our Love Bug clinic will attempt to treat both types of victims, our scientists will do their best to take your case seriously, even if it takes to inviting you to the Love Bug Treatment facility, just outside Hargeisa township, where you will be offered strong Solution of Camel Milk and Honey before Mapping your heart with our High-tech ( DRI) Dhiker Resonating Imaging Machine. After which you will discover the Ultimate form of Love, and the highest form of pleasure on earth, The Love Of Allah SWT. You will stop singing " Illinta indhaheyga aan baranee,..... adey awadaa ilmeyaanee" and will begin a love journey to a different dimension, toward Allah SWT, a love experience you have to feel deep inside to soar above it all.

 

Please share with us your Love Bug bouts of late.

 

 

No more crying' after today!

 

 

2003 eNuri(Formerly NURTEL)Communications

Social Services Research Institute