Abtigiis Posted July 5, 2012 Three weeks after a teenage girl said she loves me; me, a man of early fifties with very little to offer in aesthetic terms, I checked in the “Xarunta isku-daaweeynta Quran’ka, Sunada Nabiga iyo Dhirta” in Hargeisa, just opposite Sheikh Is-haaq Pharmacy. The problem was not that I cannot handle the childish phone calls of an otherwise decent teenager who may have misread my kind gestures for sensual invitation. The problem was that I needed a lasting antidote which will relieve me of this fascination with the rump of seasoned house-wives, whose frenzied carnal cat-walking instills an embarrassing erotic desire in me. And I wanted to see if the “xarunta” has a potent cure beyond the usual green goats, elephant milk and aromatic dung-beetle they prescribe. The sheikh I met did not give me a satisfactory answer, although I liked his joke about how he tells the Diaspora from the resident. He said all it takes him to identify who is what is to go to Hadhwanaag restaurant and observe the behavior of the cats that flood the compound during meal hours. If the cats jump on the table and try to eat leftover food, the men surrounding the table are from the Diaspora. If instead, the cats meow from distance and run for cover when one of the men around the table walks to wash hands, it is clear the men are locals. I did not get the logic of the story, but could only think it has something to do with locals being hungrier and therefore less considerate of the cat’s hunger; or it could be that the diasporas are more accommodative of pets because of their exposure to cultures that treat animals more humanely. What the Sheikh said was that I should read more Quran, avoid fish and apple which I told him I eat, and join one Tabliiq mission for 40 full days. The Tabliq option will not work, because I know Diiriye who is soon to go to Bangladesh with a Jamaaca was salivating to sleep with “beautiful and cheap Bengali” girls. That is what he said. So there is no guarantee I will be reformed either. It is hard to see why reading more Quran helps, particularly when the trend is that Sheikh’s actually get more women the more they become more versed with the 114 suras. Unless he mistook fish and apple for Viagra, it is also difficult to see why stopping these will lead to less furtive love on my part. All in all, I was disappointed with the visit to the “center”. But the Sheikh treated me pschologically. He narrated a curious litany of strange medical cases he treated. He also assured me that my situation is not chronic, because he has treated four other men who were in a worse fleshly predicament. They would not date but a pregnant women, the sheikh said. And because mine is just a fixation with married women but with no distended stomachs, I have hope. He is the one who knows our state. I must be normal then. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted July 5, 2012 ^^ That, to me, is one of the sights of H Town. A prison disgusing itself as a healing centre. You're lucky he didn't invite you spend a few nights with the mad people behind the closed gates. p.s. Your obsession with these married women. How do you know they're married? Is it age or are you one of those baskets that covet their friends' wives? For some reason, I am finding the idea of you being locked behind the healing centre's gates suddenly very appealing! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted July 5, 2012 Actually, I checked in just out of curiosity. I was passing by going to the Mansoor side and saw this big writting on top of a very modern building and saw it was the "xarunta....". I immeditaly asked the driver to take me in, and he was like "war miyaad waalan tahay?". I am his boss so he didn't say it but I can see the disbelief in his eyes! :D Later, he would tell me there are more advanced "Centres" to the one I visited! I think the "Sheikh" who was talking to me was puzzled. He may even have suspected I was joking but as long as I paid the fee, he should serve me and he did! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tallaabo Posted July 5, 2012 My friend told me recently that there is a new popular sheikh in Wajaale who takes patients' blood samples and asks his army of spirits to fly it to testing centres in Europe and so treats all sorts of illnesses. Although, he usually diagnoses most patients with kidney failure and macaan regardless of their real ailments, I am sure your infatuation with married ladies will not be too much of a problem for the sheikh to deal with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted July 5, 2012 NGONGE;848365 wrote: ^^ p.s. For some reason, I am finding the idea of you being locked behind the healing centre's gates suddenly very appealing! Locking him up will not resolve the matter. I can't say waxa haya waa mid life crisis as he will be upset lakin can I suggest some toys? Such as cars. Lasoo bax 4x4 radii ugu danbeeyay and let's review in 6 months time Ps: I do believe quraanka heals. Qalbigaa ku qabooba, not sure about dhir iyo rooxaan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted July 5, 2012 This is when I get upset by Juxa's simplistic view of some grave matters. Everyone passing through my age knows I am in mid-life crisis! ...I am even dressing like teenages and that is not a secret! The real issue is here is why such "healing" centers do not have scope of work and Terms of Reference! I mean I went there just to prove that they are nonsense and they prove that by pretending that there is a solution for carnal disorders whose cause they do not and cannot know about! It shows you they are not treating anyone. They are just exploiting gullible little people. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NGONGE Posted July 5, 2012 Got to love the way you big yourself up there. A man in his fifties being chased by a teenage girl! Of course, some of our vulgar young kids may call you a paedophile or recommend that you read the story of Lolita. Still, you’re not content with the open sea of single girls running all around you and (quite greedily and immorally) want to conquer an already occupied port. I can picture Maaddeey reminding you of holes in the ground and lots of rocks. When I was a kid in the Arab world, women were a mystery to me. I ogled, I stared and I had many favourites; some because they had nice eyes, others because of their lovely ankles and yet some more because of their beautiful hands, eyebrows or noses. Though I was aware of all the sexual parts and people’s obsession with them, never once did I have a favourite because her chest introduced itself before she did or her backside left a clear mark on a sofa. Upon growing up (yet while single) I carried on this habit. The bagel shop in Tottenham High Road had a pretty girl in it with eyelashes like sea waves, the Top Man shop in Wood Green had one with eyes as green as a mardoof and the Tesco’s in the Seven Sisters Road had one with a chin as pointy as a finger. Then I got married! Being married opens a whole new world to you. The world of WOMEN! It is when you start hearing of what heblayo did, heblayo said or heblayo is intending to do. It is when you begin to understand how women think (you can claim to understand it as a single boy but you’re simply scratching the surface there). I now believe women are mad and no amount of pretty eyes, lovely noses or dancing eyebrows would make me think otherwise. Where you look at a woman and think “she looks really nice, I wonder if she’s married”, I look and think “mmm..pretty, shame about the madness”. Of course, a crazy man that only covets married women cannot be expected to have the common sense of seeing the madness of women himself. I think their case is chronic but I pray that you get cured of yours, saaxib. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The-freeman Posted July 5, 2012 Do as any man in your situation would do: date the girl, buy a stylish convertible, dye your hair jet black (unless bald of course) and top it off with one of those new age goatees. This is the only way through it! Good luck and post pictures Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abtigiis Posted July 5, 2012 The-freeman;848393 wrote: Do as any man in your situation would do: date the girl, buy a stylish convertible, dye your hair jet black (unless bald of course) and top it off with one of those new age goatees. This is the only way through it! Good luck and post pictures :D waa talo macquul ah! loooll @ the goatie!. Except that dating a younger girl is not the issue here, really! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The-freeman Posted July 5, 2012 Abtigiis;848395 wrote: :D waa talo macquul ah! loooll @ the goatie!. Except that dating a younger girl is not the issue here, really! The "issue" would only be a problem if one is caught- a man in this business always has to have his bags packed and ready! Besides, you're providing a worthwhile "service", shall we say , to a section of society which appear to be in need of such.. erm..help. Put the morality on the back burner, I would! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bluelicious Posted July 5, 2012 A new hobby will do you good perhaps gardening (not gardening of khat). Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carafaat Posted July 5, 2012 Jaceylbaro goorma ayuu Dhakhtar noqday. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted July 5, 2012 The only way to deal with your wayward ways waa to take simple approach. Now naxariista ha igu nicin, buy new car and book holiday with the missus Remember meeshaan kaa celcelinooyo waa very lonely place Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wyre Posted July 5, 2012 And I wanted to see if the “xarunta” has a potent cure beyond the usual green goats, elephant milk and aromatic dung-beetle they prescribe. :D Ninyahow Ruuxaamo Laguma Daawoowo Ee Odayga Armuu Battery Kaa Weyn Kugu Xiraa, Ok, The Quran Is A Good Idea Insha Allah Quraanka Badso Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
