Is love a by-product of marriage, or is it a precursor for a good One?

[Baashi]

I think, no textbook can prepare you for conducting a live experience with a live system, afterall, the system is more intelligent than you, each time you turn the system on it diplays the following message:

C'mon sage Nur, few pointers, tips gleaned from the good Book and the tradition of the prophet compiled into digestable dose that takes into account the realities of the modern day cn go a long way methinks. Remember docs operate on live patients. They got that knowledge from them books so don't underestimate the textbooks I'm not talking about the bookish fellas who base everything on them books

 

Human nature is an unpredictable business and the more you know (through interaction and experience written, revealed, or otherwise) the better prepared you become to deal with them humans especially when you have to abide strict divine directives. Some of your posts, if refined and customised, directed to the target audience can be very usful and even can become a SYLLABUS for "Tamed shukaansi the right way 101" course. You gotta look out for young idealist nomads bro.

[Nur]

Guardian

 

Let us compromise on this definition of luck from an online dictionary:

 

1. [n] an unknown and unpredictable phenomenon that causes an event to result one way rather than another; "bad luck caused his downfall"; "we ran into each other by pure chance"

 

2. [n] an unknown and unpredictable phenomenon that leads to a favorable outcome; "it was my good luck to be there"; "they say luck is a lady"; "it was as if fortune guided his hand"

 

3. [n] your overall circumstances or condition in life (including everything that happens to you); "whatever my fortune may be"; "deserved a better fate"; "has a happy lot"; "the luck of the Irish"; "a victim of circumstances"; "success that was her portion"

 

 

Nur

[-Serenity-]

2. [n] an unknown and unpredictable phenomenon that leads to a favorable outcome; "it was my good luck to be there"; "they say luck is a lady"; "it was as if fortune guided his hand"

Seems most apt.

 

Unknown and unpredictable to the person - obviously.

[rudy-Diiriye]

love is life! humans cant help it! u remember how we left jano! these days u might even fall in love with someone just by exchanging ideas w/o seeing them! so what did they say about the about the traditional ways of courting!! its magic beyond as mortal humans! when you fall, all hell breaks lose!! hence, the saying only fools, fall in love!! counting me in!! i confess!! i am guilty!!

 

for u unlucky rest so far!! dont fret! its gone happen before u know it!! follow you heart what u gotta lose! u will appreciate it! take a chance, u got nothing but a whole lot to gain!!

 

its life after all!!

[Nur]

So far Nomads are agreeing to a Love that is a byProduct of Marraiage, not the other way around, how many married couples can look back and say with certainty that their love has increased since marriage? we need to hear at least one couple on this forum, to validate the votes.

 

If you are married, have you ever felt the world is collapsing when your spouse got sick? or felt so jealous that you lost your mind when your husband contemplated the idea of another wife? ( Bisadi waa ka ciyaar, jiirna waa ka naf) both are sign of great love, jealousy is not always bad, its is a testament of a womans love for husband, husbands should think about that, whenever another Halimo attracts them, not that i am discaraging this practice which is legitimate if properly done accodring to Sharia, but that one must always value the past commitment and mutual love before embarking on another renovation project around your home.

 

 

Nur

[Kafka on the Shore]

Bismillaah, wassalaamu calaykum

 

One of our brother/sister said that “raw instinct†and “luck†was amongst the most important factors? I’m not sure if I read or understood that correctly, but raw instinct is most likely the worst factor that one can rely on (we are human beings, and thus almost always have either sinister or erroneous propensities, whether it be intentional or unintentional  but it is relying on Allaah’s guidance that we become honoured, blessed, and civilized). As for luck, akhuunaa Nur couldn’t have explained it any better, and I hope that concept is clear to all of us in shaa Allaah. Some of our fellow nomads listed some characters that we should particularly look for in a spouse, and piety or religiosity was mentioned (how beautiful a choice). The word “pious†has a very strong and comprehensive meaning in Islam, and I’m afraid to say that not too many Muslims realize that (because in addition to piety or religiosity, they include other factors). Many of these other factors (ex. Chastity, sound character, and intelligence) are traits that AUTOMATICALLY come along with a PIOUS/RELIGIOUS person. I use chastity because virginity shouldn’t ideally play a role in one’s quest for finding a pious lady; a deflowered woman who has taqwah isn’t any less chaste than a virgin woman. Remember that Islam isn’t just a religion like Christianity; it’s a way of life, so it encompasses much more than our life in the mosques.

 

I also find that many of my dear nomad brethren exclusively define love in the emotional context, when love can also be defined in the objective context. Love—in the Islamic context—should be based on the person’s actions and speech. Therefore, “if you love a person for the for the sake of Allaah,†it simply means this person has such a beautiful character, and such a beautifully desirable speech as a result of total obedience to Allaah SWT and His prophet. Therefore, you cannot help but fall in love with them. Everything else (ex. Looks, specific personality traits, socioeconomic status, etc…) should truly be secondary. And it is placing these less important matters ahead of the fundamental matters (such as loving one for the sake of Allaah) that leads to many frail or broken marriages.

 

The harsh truth is that many Muslims aren’t practicing Islam in its entirety (me included, and I hope you’ll make ducaa for me, O my beloved brethren), and thus it has become extremely difficult for the pious nomads amongst us to make the spouse decision-making process a complex and difficult one. If life was amidst a beautifully (ideal) Islamic environment, then love would be present both before and after the marriage because everyone would technically love themselves for the sake of Allaah. But it truly seems that in marriages that have survived, love was bred and successfully developed as a result of this matrimony (because it most cases, they got together for the wrong reasons in the first place).

 

Wassalaamu calaa manittabacal hudaa!

 

Fii amaanillaah

[Johnny B]

Step back everybody JB is here

Sometimes a notion completely devoid of wisdom can trigger wise and outstanding reaction.

this Question falls into that category.

 

Before one answers this Question one has to extract the term Love out of the religious and deity touch in it,just As 7of9 did and WT agreed.

but that per se falls short to further sieve the term and simplify it to Johhny level( everage ***** level).

1: Love is NOTa byproduct of Marriage.

reason: Marriage = official (declaration of coupling )of two human beeing .

2: Marriage is a byproduct of a mutual liking(love) between two human beeing.

reason:You can´t Marry or declare official coupling based on hatred.[[[here i´m discarding the arranged marriage types]]]

 

Now let us put that into context , If Y(love) is the byproduct of X(cute Halimo) times J(steaming Farah) then Marriage(a declaration of official coupling) equals Y(Love).

 

What am i doing here? well , YES it is TRUE love is (or should be)equal to Marriage.

 

In onother words , you can Marry out of Love just as well as you can Love out of marriage.

 

Now comes the decisive thing in the Question. namely the priority, which of them comes first ?and the answer can only be LOVE.

This might sounds contradicting ,since Love equeled to Marraiage in our previous equation.

but the tricky answer is , falling in love after marraige is not excluded .

 

If A divided by B = C is TRUE

then C times B equals A too is TRUE

so is C times A equals B.

[Servant of the Most Mercif]

Peace nomads,

 

Johnny B, we should NOT extract love out of the religious context. As Muslims, we must consider everything possible in light of Islam (above all). So I agree with Aristote in the sense that we should first consider Islam's definition of love before any other definition; we also find that Islam has the most wonderful definition. Let's not forget the comprehensive aspect to our most exquisite "way of life".

[Nur]

Nomads

 

As Spring time gets closer, marriage bound nomads need some catch up with this old eNuri post, it just might spark an idea, I mean, a good idea, or two before taking the final step.

 

 

Nur

[ONE SOMALIA]

Assalaamu Alaykum W W

 

 

[Quote post Nur

If you are married, have you ever felt the world is collapsing when your spouse got sick? or felt so jealous that you lost your mind when your husband contemplated the idea of another wife? ( Bisadi waaka ciyaar, jirina waaka naf) both are sign of great love, jealousy is not always bad, its is a testament of a woman's love for husband, husbands should think about that, whenever another Halimo attracts them, not that i am disparaging this practice which is legitimate if properly done according to Sharia, but that one must always value the past commitment and mutual love before embarking on another renovation project around your home.]

 

 

This is store of my life my husband and I knew each other for a month when we get married. I was 19 years old and he was 25 years old we are married for 11 years this year and have 4 children. We fall in love after we get married and our love grow all this years. We never being apart but last year he when to Somalia for a month. I didn't know how much I love him and miss him for that month it was like a years for me. I thank ALLAH for everything we have and wish all the brothers and the sisters the best.