Is Dad the New Mom? The Rise of Stay-At-Home Fathers

[Malika]

^Lol..but he isnt just staying at home watching tv dee- he is caring for his kids.

 

Ngonge, image that!! , wouldn't careless. Imagine, taking off the shoes, throw the bag down - ask hubby to make you a cuppa and join them on the sofa..:]

[Blessed]

I've known a few SAHDs through work, doesn't sound as lovely as SAHM does it? I agree with Malika that is a good set up for a family where the mother earns more and enough to support the family with one income, but I think Juxa has raised a good point, in that society (and our more so) there's an expectation for a father to provide and mother to care, the title of this thread itself spells out these expectations.. Does dad become mom? Or a full time stay at home dad and mum a full time worker and vice a versa and arn't both providing for and caring for their children in different ways?

[Alpha Blondy]

i don't understand how these spinsters with kids and hubbies condone and support SAHD syndrome. there is already a crisis of masculity in the community, baal imagine if this was further exacerbated. there is a thinking ingrained in the minds of somali women that their men must be controlled.

[GaroweGal]

Alpha Blondy;845969 wrote:

i don't understand how these spinsters with kids and hubbies condone and support SAHD syndrome. there is already a crisis of masculity in the community, baal imagine if this was further exacerbated. there is a thinking ingrained in the minds of somali women that their men must be controlled.

Looking after children one has sired is a threat to one's masculinity?

I would welcome the notion of SAHD within the Somali community. It is better than the AFTES* syndrome that is prevalent!

 

*Absent From The Entire Scene

[Chimera]

LOL@Alphy, its inevitable sxb, did you forget the fate of the misogynistic VIKINGS?

 

Back in the day

 

 

Today

 

 

[GaroweGal]

Chimera;845988 wrote:

 

Today

Aawwww. This is the way it should be. Gabadha wee iska xaraqoonee & the guy is pushing the stroller. Truly, beautiful!

[Blessed]

Alpha Blondy;845969 wrote:

i don't understand how these spinsters with kids and hubbies condone and support SAHD syndrome. there is already a crisis of masculity in the community, baal imagine if this was further exacerbated. there is a thinking ingrained in the minds of somali women that their men must be controlled.

Who are these 'spinsters' Alpha? Our community does have a crises of masculinity leading to crime, war and general chaos because many of our idi*tic lads think manhood is above decency and taking care of ones family. Pushing a stroller doesn't even scratch the surface.

[wyre]

GaroweGal;845992 wrote:

Aawwww. This is the way it should be. Gabadha wee iska xaraqoonee & the guy is pushing the stroller. Truly, beautiful!

Yeah, That's Why I Said I'll Never Marry A Lady From Abroad,

Indeed I'll marry A Reer Baadiye Girl

[Alpha Blondy]

in an awe-inspiring labour geographies lecture, i learnt an interesting fact that stills haunts me. all things being considered 'social reproduction' as it was cleverly termed has the potential earning salary of $140,000.00 (2004). still, if we attach a monetary value on all things then where does the buck stop? house hold chores and raising their kids are necessary for women becos without 'that' they cease to exist.

 

we are somali. we are a decent people. we are a conservative people who have stood the tests of time and the annals of history will and have judged us to have strong moral fibre and strong familial ties. the important emphasis we put on our social relations, ties and interactions are testimont to this. thus, we MUST be careful not to subsume 'our' unique culture under this human rights and equality mantra. this is culture and place specific and a perversity that will destroy our 'sacred' values.

 

somali fathers and men have done relatively well considering the circumstance they've endured. recent times have tested the very essence of the family structure. this has taken its toll. we can infer from these experience that the family structure has become fragile with the subsequent resultants (s) being to:

 

1. reevaluate the structures of the family -

2. reconfigure the traditional structure of the family

 

early attempts to both reevaluate and to reconfigure what God deemed natural have produced many negative results - marrying non-somalis, single mother phenomenon, the crisis of masculinity among somali men, combined with the violent niggerised culture of 'somalitude' practised by young somali males which has questioned their identity and place of belonging and the all-encompassing women's empowerment subversive ideals and discourse. similarly we've seen infidelity and illegitimate children become the norm often producing negative impacts. all these consequences have induced calls and attempts of trying to change the norm and in its place to create and try new 'model structures'. this latest model of trying to femininise and domesticate the man into house husbandry and ineffect trying to and purportedly destroy and subjugate the man's sense of self is not surprising and is the work of the white devil. its seeds have already been soiled.

 

like NG quipped this is the stuff the privileged waste their time on. the man continues to dominate most somali and somali-hybrid households. the man must remain in his natural and pre-ordained dominion. anything less than this could be catastrophe for our very survival and alleged traditional values and norms.

 

the man will never be conquered and will always con the 'woman' into delusions of power game (equality, career ladder lol and appeasement). only a childless career woman or the occasional dyke strap-on'er with a vindictive and callous behaviour patterns will destroy the man. thankfully, from a somali perspective this group is currently contained and under control but for how long? they are blood-thirsty and seeking to exact revenge but societal expectations and conformity is their kryptonite. we are currently working with our brothers around the globe to put 9-inch thick nails into them and to put corrective measures in place to avert a looming disaster. we MUST save humanity from this destruction that will seal its impending and ultimate end.

[Blessed]

wyre;846035 wrote:

Yeah, That's Why I Said I'll Never Marry A Lady From Abroad,

Indeed I'll marry A Reer Baadiye Girl

Dookhaaga la ciyaar, laakin I'm curious, inanta reer baadiye xaabada ma u qaadaysaa? Mise intaad shaah cabto ayaad yada hawshoo dhan sida geeljiraha ku daawan lahayd?

[Juxa]

lool, waxan oo jiqjiq ah maxaa keenay? wiilashii waaba xanaqen

 

Blessed meel u roon malahan, soo shaqeeyana ma ogola, contribute to the household chores na ma ogola. I propose inaan daawano uun sidii sawirka (pictures) and not sawir as of doqon

[wyre]

Blessed In La Is Caawiyo Aad Bey U Haboon Tahay, Inaan Ilmaheyga U Qubeeyo Oon Wad Watto Wax Lagu Faano Ayey Ii Tahay, Balse Waxaan Diidaayaa In Dusha La I Raro

[wyre]

Juxa;846206 wrote:

 

Blessed meel u roon malahan, soo shaqeeyana ma ogola, contribute to the household chores na ma ogola. I propose inaan daawano uun sidii sawirka (pictures) and not sawir as of doqon

Iyaduna Ma Xuma

[Juxa]

wyre;846209 wrote:

Balse Waxaan Diidaayaa In Dusha La I Raro

Dul rarid maxaad utaqaan? yaase ku dul raraya?

[Blessed]

Wyr, not sure what 'in dusha la ii raro' means but I think waan is fahanay. Our beautiful deen is all about kind, humble, supportive men (and women) and even the greatest man on earth, despite his role as the spiritual guide and leader of the ummah, never felt too important to be 'domesticated'.

 

LOL Juxa, ma ila aragtay. Iyaga iyo wixii guursadaa ku dhib qaba.