Controversy of runaway marriages in somalia.

[burahadeer]

Controversy over runaway marriages in Somalia

 

 

Mohamed Ahmed and his fiancée Khadra discussing their future plans inside a café in Mogadishu

Mohamed Sheikh Nor

By Mohamed Sheikh Nor in Mogadishu

Running away to get married is part and parcel of Somali culture and society, though Islamic clerics have different opinions regarding the legality of this type of marriage.

 

Wahabis and other Muslim radicals believe that eloping is against the teaching of Islam. The practice is taboo because it ignores the consent and the knowledge of the parents. But the moderate Sufis argue this type of marriage is valid as long as the spouses live 90 kilometers away from their parents.

 

Sheikh Abdall Ahmed is one of the moderate clerics. He says there is no distinction between running away to get married and a marriage with parental consent.

 

 

Cleric Sheikh Abdall Ahmed

Mohamed Sheikh Nor

“According to Islamic law a man and a woman can contract marriage without consent from their parents, therefore clerics like me approach the couple to carry out the ritual as we normally welcome them,” he explains.

 

According to current official statistics, one in every three Somali families were created after the couple had eloped but the practice was totally banned by Al-Shebab, a militant group that has links with Al-Qaeda when they were in control of large swathes of south and central Somalia. They say eloping is un-islamic therefore its eradication is necessary.

 

A few months back it used to be rare in areas under Al-Shebab control that a girl would run-off with a boy and get married without the consent of the parents, but where the militias have been driven away it seems an everyday occurence.

 

It was only a few days ago that Somali troops backed by the African Union’s peacekeeping mission, Amisom, forcefully took control of Afgoi in Lower Shabelle region. This raised the hopes of many couples who heard that the next step would be to free Wanleweyn, a town 90 kilometers away from Mogadishu, known for hosting the majority of elopement marriages in south and central Somalia .

 

Mohamed Ahmed, who is unable to afford the lavish sum that a wedding normally costs, is now getting ready to pack as he and his partner are planning to travel to Wanleweyn town.

 

“I can’t wait until ********* is liberated, but time proves that the days of the ban on eloping to get married are numbered. I and my fiancée will be the first to reach Wanleweyn town, in order to formalise our long standing relationship and to reap the crops of our beautiful love”.

 

Most arguments involve economic aspects. The huge amounts of expenses incurred are said to be too staggering for families from a poor country like Somalia.

 

AL-SHEBAB - WHO ARE THEY?

 

Khadro, Mohamend's fiancée, says only sweet words, smooth love, open hands, beautiful behavior, sweetness and togetherness is what yields success and she is against pressurising her husband to pay what he cannot afford.

 

“I have to follow what my fiancé sees as appropriate for our love and oppose whatever obstacles are in our way, I have never dictated to him nor stipulated that he must have a fortune that is why our love has endured so many years”

 

Elopement is also a common way for a Somali woman to avoid an arranged marriage. However, the practice is frowned upon in Somali society and a woman who elopes may be risking her family's angerand weakening the bonds between her parents and her husband.

 

But sometimes after a lengthy wrangle between the two families, parents finally reach a compromise on the expenditure of the wedding feast and the dowries.

 

TAGS: ISLAM - MARRIAGE - MOGADISHU - REPORT - SHEBAB - SOMALIA

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http://www.english.rfi.fr/africa/20120615-elopment-somali-culture-shebab

[burahadeer]

bal maxaa ka galay wixii is guursanaaya:(

[Wadani]

^ ma jeclaan lahayd hablaha aad walaalaha tihiin ama kuwa aad dhashay inuu nin iska kaxaysto isagoon ku waydiisan? Dagaalka aad diinta kula jirtid yuuna hypocrite kaa dhigin, ileen hada waxaad difaacaysa wax aanad adiguba u dul qaadan lahayn, waa hadii aad dhiig iyo us leedahay.

[burahadeer]

no I won't like my daughters to do same but then it always was part of somali culture...predates religion.

[Aaliyyah]

islam is easy. If parents make it easy for their children to make their choice and go with it then their children would have no reason to run away.

 

Of course, islamically this is haraam. A girl can't get married without a wali period. But, not everyone is religious or follows it necessarily.

[Xaaji Xunjuf]

Nothing wrong with the name Somaliland the land was called ardsumal way before colonialism.

When you say Somali what do you mean the Ethnic group the language its not a nationality.

And the correct term is Somal and not Somali where did we get the i from.

[Che -Guevara]

Xaaji Xunjuf;842414 wrote:

Nothing wrong with the name Somaliland the land was called ardsumal way before colonialism.

Xaaji....are you OK? wrong thread?

[Aaliyyah]

lol@ xaajixanjuf. wrong thread mr.

[Wadani]

Ur right, but not everything in our beautiful culture is beautiful. This is one example where we need to completely throw out this aspect of culture and follow the way specified by Islam. Any decent man would show basic respect for the girl and her family by approaching her father/brothers/uncles. I know if a man tried sumthing like that with my sisters, lets just say i'd be roomates with 'mad dog' and 'bubba' lol.

[burahadeer]

there was time girls were encouraged to do this,ever heard of "heerin".Bunch of girls roamed the country side 100s of miles from their villages looking for men.People were few & far apart..there also many otha reasons,i.e, abusive fathers,poverty,age etc.Few cases of love do exist & there r some rebellious ones but by in large I don't think it's even eva been one percent at any given time.Very minimal indeed.

[MoonLight1]

In islamic teaching its clear that a marriage is invalid & void without the knowledge of the father, this for many reasons, one is that it gives the girl kind of protection from the man she is marrying in case he tries to abuse her in the future, (and I personally saw that, when my dad used to grill my brother in laws if they try to mistreat his daughters). and the second reason is, to give credit and respect to the parents of the girl who raised and made her the woman she is, and asking them their daughter's hand is the least thing to give them credit for her up bringing.

[MoonLight1]

Che -Guevara;842417 wrote:

Xaaji....are you OK? wrong thread?

 

lol this happened to me last week when I watched a video in youtube and somehow mixed it with another one then commented on the wrong one, I received tons of reply's where ppl were confused of what I was talking about.

[Xaaji Xunjuf]

Sorry guys my bad:D