wyre Posted June 9, 2012 Don't get us quoted on it, but there was a time before the daily routine of the average African involved war and waiting for the United Nations to arrive. The Isaak are from this mysterious place. All Isaak are tall, young warriors who dress only in loincloths on the rare occasions when their private parts are not hanging out in a manner that makes every other earthly culture feel inadequate. The Isaak are so close to the Earth that if you were to drop a wrapper next to their home, their brain would collapse in upon itself. Of course, close to the Earth in this sense means they only eat crazy shit like monkey brains, zebra genitalia or Nestle products. These are invariably caught on a hunt, because the spear is the single most technologically advanced thing in Africa. The rest of the Isaak day is spent performing painful coming-of-age rituals, because there is nothing like self harm to pass the time. The clan traces its lineage back to a hermit who claims to be older than the sun and only descends from his mountain cave to declare everything a witch. http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Somalia Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Somalia Posted June 9, 2012 I love that website. The clan traces its lineage back to a hermit who claims to be older than the sun and only descends from his mountain cave to declare everything a witch. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
faarah22 Posted June 9, 2012 Now what is funny about this? anti-climatic waste of time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Somalia Posted June 9, 2012 Something seems to be missing but nobody cares http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nobody_Cares Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wyre Posted June 9, 2012 Faarah, Do You Really Have Feelings? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Garnaqsi Posted June 9, 2012 Remember the 'don't mess with Somalis' thread? Wait for people preaching as to how treacherous it's to find funny some website 'dissing your people'. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wyre Posted June 9, 2012 Lolz :D I Don't Think There Are Other People's Who Know Us More Than We Do, So I Don't Think The Writer Is From Aother Ethnicity Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tillamook Posted June 10, 2012 Somalia;840291 wrote: I love that website. LOL...that cracked me up as well. Dare anyone to tell us more about this hermit warrior. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carafaat Posted June 10, 2012 this website is hilarious. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wyre Posted June 10, 2012 Steven Seagal ) , also known as the Anti-Norris or the Badass who always wins a fight against twenty guys no matter what happens, is the name of a famous mountain figure located in the Black Hills of South Dakota. Originally intended to be included on Mount Rushmore to give the common man some sense of accomplishment (along with Presidents Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and God), the figure was instead carved separately. Nonetheless, it has remained a popular tourist attraction for nearly six decades, except for when it wasn't. :D Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carafaat Posted June 10, 2012 D...... Clan The largest clan in Somalia, they number about 3 million and have a combined weight of 40 kilograms . The clan is denoted by their pot bellies and the swarms of flies entering every one of their orifices, and such attire is on prominent display when clan members perform their long held clan traditions of dying, being in deaths final throws, and succumbing to the inevitable. The clan traces their lineage back 17 generations to the child you refused to sponsor when an Oxfam worker approached you last week. H.... Clan The H.... clan consists entirely of a motherly lady named Mama with a clinical addiction to cooking . Mama is the single person able to just get by in Somalia, running both a small business of some sort and a community vegetable patch, despite the fact all her children were beaten by the militia, then eaten by a lion and finally raped by Al Qaeda. She will welcome any film crew - no matter how large - into her home made of bullet holes, respond to any question the reporter poses with a rolling laugh, and maintain that things will soon get better. This final statement will be rather cringe-worthy if given any thought, as the whole reason for the segment is to report Al Shaabab's new policy of putting babies in blenders, after prominently featuring the huge black eyes and smiling infant faces of Mama's 12 adopted daughters. R..........Clan As the warlords and clerics of Somalia, the ********* are proudly keeping the global military-industrial complex solvent, although the ancestry of the clan cannot be traced since they moved it to the Caymans back in 2008. When in Somalia, the ********* spend most of their time deep inside a fortified compound made of Mumm champagne and Fabergé eggs. When outside Somalia, they spend almost the same quantity of time deep in the *** of whatever corporation or East Asian state is willing to exploit the territory the warlord controls. The traditional dress of the ********* is the ill-fitting high street suit, not the animal skin they wear when they feel a camera may be pointed in their direction . That skin is actually the traditional dress of making people a little sick in their mouths. Although sacrifice of animals is practiced on occasion by all Somali clans, the ********* take it to grandiose levels. First, a group of young individuals is covered in firearms and ammunition belts and led around the yard. Then the hapless individuals are provoked to lash out at the foreign power tasked with defending the latest aid mission to Somalia. Finally, the warlord delivers his traditional denial of any involvement to be printed by the BBC, and the story is buried by one about a celebrity getting her tits out. Hilarious Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wyre Posted June 10, 2012 Hahaha Haku Maqlo MMA Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Garnaqsi Posted June 11, 2012 wyre;840301 wrote: Lolz :D I Don't Think There Are Other People's Who Know Us More Than We Do, So I Don't Think The Writer Is From Aother Ethnicity Yes, I guess only Somali could write those things about tribes and stuff. I remember few years ago it was different and included things like Somalis running a marathon in the pavement whenever they see a dog and someone with A-level maths being held as highly educated and respected among Somalis. It's much funnier now, of course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted June 11, 2012 so who the hell isaak clan???? never heard of them!! r they like real underground mofos!! ciiydeey galaan miyaa!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites